Giving up career to be SAHM - worried about pension

[47andahalf]

I have a good career that means I am in the higher tax bracket. My husband earns about 70% off what I do but financially we'd probably still be fine if I gave up work, because no more £££s per month on wraparound care (all 3 at primary school), and I currently save a fair bit of my income so I'd just not have the savings option anymore, rather than having to massively change our quality of life (albeit fancy holidays would definitely be off the card).

I'm very stressed at work. I have put on weight, I'm snappy etc. I don't like who I am when I'm stressed. Conversely my husband is thriving in his job, travel, networking, climbing the ladder, he loves it!

He says he'd be happy with me giving up work.
I would too, emotionally and mentally.
But financially.... I am so worried about having a very small pension in 25 years time! It keeps me awake at night. Current pension prospects are pretty good if I stay with current employer, but if I leave work now I'm probably looking at £7k per year plus state pension if it still exists at that point. Of course I could go back to work in another role once the children are a bit older, but I don't see me ever getting another job that pays at a similar level, or offers such an attractive pension prospect.

Has anyone any words of wisdom for me? My identity is not at all ties to my job, so no concerns in giving up on that score, it's just the thought of giving up so much of what are currently quite good prospects for retirement that is really concerning me !

Thanks for reading, usual apology that I didn't think it would be this long when I started!

I was a SAHM for 18 months until very recently, for my son who is just turning 3.

I didn't find it easy to get back to work even with such a short gap. It was awkward getting in touch with references or providing personal ones (who had to be in registered professions). I think the fact I was home with a toddler meant people judged it less. They understand nursery fees, wanting to be at home with tinies etc. I can imagine people being less empathetic if all your children are school aged.

I'd also think about your skillsets. I had a vague (arrogant in hindsight) plan to go into entry level admin jobs. But I didn't have any direct experience in admin despite working many office jobs. That meant I was in high demand because my CV was impressive compared to other candidates at that level and I interviewed well, but I was constantly pipped at the post by some with more direct admin experience. It took a while longer than expected to find a job.

Absolutely this
Is your DH " thriving" because you are carrying the entire domestic load?
Do not throw your career away!!!

Don't do it op. It will be short sighted I say that as someone who was very bloody short sighted/misguided.

I went self employed thinking that would protect me so technically I've never had a big gap. But employers don't care one bit im just as undesirable.
You could be overqualified for a role and will be overlooked. Anything over a year and you're essentially back to minimum wage and working your way up again without the ability to ask for flexible working and already more unreliable than other options because you have a children who will need sick days ect.

Find another job condense hours part time wfh whatever else but don't give up entirely.

Wow the message from you amazing women is very clear! I won't be giving up work, your advice has been so helpful in clarifying why I shouldn't- but the fact I've even written this post tells me I'm close to reaching breaking point.

Husband travels for work and yes it puts pressure on me because I have to be at home on time to pick up kids from after school clubs, or i can't leave for work early enough in the morning as I've got to drop them off. And that impacts my stress levels and my ability to put extra in at work which, in my role, I'd like to - because doing a bit extra would take a bit of the pressure off. I don't resent him for this, he does have to travel, but yes it has an impact on me.

I do fear as someone up thread mentioned, that if I reduce hours at work I'll still be eexpected to deliver the same outputs. So maybe time for a change of role.

Thanks again, honestly. I have nobody to talk to in real life about this, and I'm so grateful for the words of wisdom.

I went back to work a year ago after maternity leave to my previous job on a 4 day a week basis. I'm in a fairly senior finance role with responsibilities and a small team to manage. I spent ages detailing my full task list as part of my request and identified things that I would need to give up or delegate. In practice it hasn't worked out exactly like that but was enough to make the point to my boss that I couldn't just do the same job in less time. I also provided the solution rather than just asking for reduced hours and leaving them with a problem to solve.
Anyway, the point is I am now successfully doing that job in 4 days having previously done it for 5 days for several years prior.
I say this to let you know that it can be done and it sounds like you have nothing to lose by trying to get something sorted in your current role.

It sounds as if you are currently exhausted and part of that is working so hard yourself while facilitating your DH travelling. Can you take a couple of weeks off to rest and regroup?
I don't think you should give up your career. It makes you vulnerable in so many ways. Try to find a way to use your skills and stay employed.
In fact if you are the higher earner your husband logically should be the one considering stepping down or sideways to facilitate your earning potential by picking up everything else.

I echo other posters, don't totally give up your career even if you drop down the ranks a bit and work 2 days a week.

You never know what could happen, mid life crisis and he could trade you in for a younger model, an illness that means DH can't work again etc. No one plans on getting divorced but life happens.