What are your daily tasks

[Nosleeptheo]

Sahp what do you during the day as in childcare / household tasks and are you happy? Also what do you wish dp would do more of / what she their jobs?

Iv posted before about dp being the sahd things changed but have gone back now I think a list of jobs / tasks would help us both 1 feel appreciated and 2 spread the load across.

FYI I am the working parent

I’m the SAHP during the week, but work weekends. My husband feeds and dresses our toddler in the morning, then I do all the childcare, and household tasks during the day. Dishwasher, washing, all forms of cleaning, the weekly / daily food shops. I usually prepare dinner in the slow cooker, or make my husband lunches he can take to work. I take my son to various toddler classes / to see friends or family / to the beach or library etc. Then when my husband comes home from work I’ll cook dinner if it’s not in the slow cooker, we both play with our son, put him to bed etc. If we are both at home then we’ll just tidy stuff as and when it needs doing, no one has an assigned job as such. Though he always take the bin out.
It works well for us. It means that once our son is in bed we both quickly do any final tidying / cleaning and then have the whole evening free to rest together.
I think just saying thank you to the other person at the end of the day is a good way to make them feel appreciated. Like thank you for cleaning up after our son when he made loads of mess at dinner. Thank you for going to work so I can stay home with our son for a bit longer. Thank you for making me lunches etc etc.

Hi!
I timetable our activities for the week (no nursery so it’s 24/7) to make sure we are seeing others, learning, having fun and being stimulated enough. I also budget for these and research them to maximise free events and classes.
Due to DH work schedule I do everything in the morning as he has to sleep then, so getting DC up, brekky etc. This is also at weekends to maintain a routine for everyone.
Meal planning, preparation, including packed lunches for DH, cooking and clean up as well as food shopping twice a week. No dishwasher so there’s at least 3x of hand-washing and hand-drying dishes each day.
Administration of household bills/renewals.
Tidying up the house after DC in bed.
Obviously playing with DC, reading several times daily, helping with toileting, dressing etc is also my jurisdiction as I’m the one with them! We are a low-tech household so we do lots of imaginative play, crafts, puzzles and physical activity throughout the day.
Any medical/dental appointments are organised and attended by me.
All pet care.
Bathing and bedtime routine.

DH is responsible for all laundry & drying, and all vacuuming which he does several times a week, and does the lawn care and DIY. He also makes time for me to exercise at least twice a week and spends all his time not at work at home with me and DC playing and having quality time. I think he’s amazing and this is prob helped by how he is very complimentary of me every single day and I never feel unappreciated.

In terms of am I happy? Absolutely yes I am. I love my life as a SAHM. I am really good at it! I take it seriously, as in I plan and prepare things and I’m never bored as a result. Getting to look after my family and be able to curate our daily life is my dream job.

Thank you for replying currently trying to point out who has what tasks as he feels it's all on him and I feel it's all on me amd we end up arguing again and around it go's. ATM I do the following

Wake up get ds1 and ds 2 breakfast and get them both ready (one for school and one for nursery 2 x week and other times for normal day at home)

I start work at 7.30 (I wfh)

Dp will take ds1 to school with ds2 in the pram, while he's doing that because I can step away from pc I will run around the living room and kitchen.

Dp gets home about 9 I try as long as I have no meetings to give him 20 mins to make a brew have a fag (we both smoke) and have a shower.

I go back to work and dp has ds2

Dp puts ds down for a nap about 10/11 and does what he wants (chills), he will also pick up after the dog in the garden.

Ds2 wakes up about 1pm sometimes later dp will play with him get him a snack (not the best eater) I will also if I'm not busy and ahead in my work try to come down and see ds2

Dp picks up ds1 from school and takes ds2 with him

When they get home iv finished work and I deal with the boys as he needs a break, I then cook tea, sort packet lunches out etc.

Dp will out ds2 to bed (goes off better for him) and we both put ds1 to bed. I make sure they are bathed etc.

Household jobs dp does tend to do the laundry and garden (his choice as I'm apparently a danger to myself after trying to mow the grass in flip flops) and bins

I do all life admin, all the meal planning and shopping ensuring homework is done, ds1 laundry for school.

At weekends dc mainly fall on me however he does come to swimming on a Saturday because someone has to stay with dc while the other is in the pool.

Sometimes I feel like all the shit jobs are on me and he doesn't appreciate it and I know sometimes he feels the same way but I always male sure if he's done the kitchen etc to say thank you and it looks amazing where as if I do it I don't get anything. I always try to take the boys out for a few hours each week to give him a break but never get it in return and get digs from him if I plan time away so iv started asking gp to help out if I have anything planned. I don't know if it will help having everything written down so we can both see what each other do so we can appreciate it more.

God yes the thank you thing is huge- when I went back to work it was the first thing I noticed- people actually bother to say thank you and don’t act like you should be grateful, ask how your day is going etc etc😅

different set up as kids are 9-16 (4 boys) and I’m a sahm but also a ft author (barely scraping min wage so not really!!)

Feed cat, stand out with dog, drop dh to train at 7 then back, get kids up make lunches, clean up kitchen mess, get a wash on, 2 school drop offs, come back clothes in line other wash on, sweep and hoover floors, mop ds’ and bathroom floor, tidy a bit, dust a bit then walk dog then write, collect kids and maybe dh, make dinner (or dh will if he’s home early enough) or now collect dh, clean kitchen, do homework with kids, play with kids and dog then read story with younger two (Harry Potter). Watch tv with older two then go in and write or go to bed.

edited to add in the evening dh fills dishwasher and I put any clothes into dryer or I might have to do a wash and dry for the kids for the following day. I make sure their clothes are ready for the next day and they get their shoes, coats etc out

OP you seem to do an awful lot considering you are working. DP has it bloody easy. Takes eldest to school then has a 30 minutes break and then an hour later youngest is in bed for at least 2 hours. Snack and pick eldest up from school and then you are there helping.
Given your youngest sleeps in the day he should be doing housework then, not chilling.
I'm at home and all the cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping and meal prep is down to me. All DS medical appointments and school meetings are done by me. I try and take DS out every day and it's always me who gets him up and dressed and fed.
DH does the garden and 3x a week does bath and bedtime routine.i do get a bit resentful that DH doesn't really do anything at the weekend (he is fantastic with DS but won't take him ou6 alone so I don't really get a break) but I do love being a SAHM.

So he does the school run (with kids prepared by you) , laundry and a couple of hours solo childcare each day. He also does bedtime (bath not included) with one child. You give him frequent fag breaks and do most of the childcare on weekends?

Mate , he's doing hardly any parenting. Lazy sod!