SAHP and struggling

[Dream246]

Wondering if anyone else feels this way or just me....

I'm a stay at home mum to two perfect little children, my husband has his own business which is doing well but of course this means he works long hours and a lot of weekends.

I know this is just a stage but I'm struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel! I've tried so many baby groups etc but honestly they're just not for my High energy kids who are best off running and jumping around down the park so that's what we tend to do the most. So meeting other parents is fleeting rather than any long lasting friendships and the rest of my friendships seem to be falling away too. I've tried so hard to arrange meet ups etc as my husband is really supportive and would always say go and have a good time, it's just not happening!

Starting to feel like im simply mum and the housekeeper and it's been this way for a while now. I honestly can't remember the last time I dressed up and went out and had fun! Again my husband would take me out on a date night If we had the option of childcare but low on that too....

Big huff...anyone else?

How old are your DC? The early years are just exhausting and if you don't have a lot of support can feel a bit of a slog.

My DC were really active too. I didn't really make friends with other mums until they were a bit older because I was too busy running after them to talk. Only when they could play independently was I able to chat to other parents.

I went back to work (I honestly think it was easier in many ways) which gave me opportunities for adult only interaction. If your DH is supportive, try to carve out some time to keep your friendships alive while he has the DC. A couple of hours a week is a perfectly reasonable ask. If you don't feel horribly anxious at just the thought of socialising with strangers, you could also take up a new hobby or volunteer at something. Doesn't really matter what but it has to be about you and your sense of enjoyment or fulfilment, not fulfilling the needs of others (no matter how much you love them).

You're not unusual in feeling as you do though, because as wonderful as being a mum is, it's also all-consuming. I hope it helps to have someone else acknowledge that at least. 💐

Re the meet ups, try one on one rather than groups. Group get togethers often result in one dropping out which sparks a chain reaction.

Thank you for your reply :) although unfortunately I've been trying to arrange meet ups and there's always a cancellation or something that gets in the way. Now you've said about i think that's what I'm wanting the most. The social interaction

Feeling the same way, OP! I have a 1yo and thought it would be easier to meet other mothers, but interactions at baby groups have been fleeting and any attempt I’ve made to put together a group meet-up hasn’t worked. I spend most of my time alone with DS. No wise words, just in the same boat!

I find i just bite the bullet and start talking to parebts or grandparents of kids at the park and at baby and toddler/ playgroups groups. Even though it is a quick conversion, or somtimes if in lucky a food 5 min chat it kind of works to get my adult social interaction in for the day. If you can find one friend from a playgroup or baby group that you click with then just invite them round even if you feel a but daunted due to state of home etc. In always behind on the dishes and housework as most of us mums proberbly are.
It's a bloody tough gig being a human and being a mum. Sometimes one feels like it cancels the other out.

Either way op your not alone. Just be bold, be brave, be you.