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SAHP

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

Original poster

8 year old judgy about me staying home

33 replies

VictoriaMum323 · 27/05/2023 06:17

Hello, I am going through a big change - we are moving back to the uk after being abroad and will be leaving my current job etc. I might take some time out to get the kids settled / get ourselves set up in the UK. I have an 8 month old. My 8 year old son said (when I mentioned I may not work for a while) : ‘’so you are just going to sit at home?’’ Obviously very judgy!

I have always worked very long hours in a ‘’city’’ role in finance, however I have always been very much aware of how people who don’t work outside the home do. It’s not easy as well to be with children nonstop as people who stay home certainly don’t get much of a break.

Is this common for 8 year old sons to become quite critical of SAHMs? I realise the WOHP / SAHM debate is old and boring but I am not getting at that. I am looking to understand whether other parents of 8 year old ish sons (or daughters) and upwards experience this type of attitude from their children?

Thanks

OP posts:
EliflurtleTripanInfinite · 27/05/2023 07:47

‘’so you are just going to sit at home?’’ Obviously very judgy!. I wouldn't think it's necessarily judgy in and of itself. Kids sometimes say things in very blunt ways. Obviously you know what his voice sounded like and we don't. I have similar age DC and they have made comments like this before, but thats from things stbxh says.

BHRK · 27/05/2023 07:49

He’s 8, they say this stuff all the time!

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 27/05/2023 07:51

Wow where did he get that view from then? Sad.

There’s more to life than work, this is a good opportunity to demonstrate that to him for his future work/life balance and overall happiness :)

Awoooga · 27/05/2023 08:13

Okshacky · 27/05/2023 07:14

The fact he said ‘’so you are just going to sit at home?’’ Rather than any other phrase to me suggests he’s heard some describe sahm’s like that.

This was my first thought

Backtothegym · 27/05/2023 08:18

He doesn't realise what it takes to run a home

I don’t really get this and a few are saying it. Unless you live in downtown abbey running a home is something you can do round working, most of us do.

op, I’d say he is just curious. The question for me. Is why couldn’t you just address it, and say what you’d be doing, and instead deciding a young child was judgey. Your own child at that.

Snoken · 27/05/2023 08:47

I wouldn't assume he was being judgy at all. He just asked a very valid question given all he has known is you working. He wanted to know if there were other things you would be doing or if you were just going to be at home.

drpet49 · 27/05/2023 08:48

LubaLuca · 27/05/2023 06:36

I would assume genuine curiosity as well. If he's only ever known you to work, he will wonder what you'll be doing when you no longer have that.

Eight year olds aren't worldly enough to be judgmental about things like that, unless they're being fed an adult's opinion and repeating it.

This

Dacadactyl · 27/05/2023 15:01

Backtothegym · 27/05/2023 08:18

He doesn't realise what it takes to run a home

I don’t really get this and a few are saying it. Unless you live in downtown abbey running a home is something you can do round working, most of us do.

op, I’d say he is just curious. The question for me. Is why couldn’t you just address it, and say what you’d be doing, and instead deciding a young child was judgey. Your own child at that.

Yeah but running a home and working FT comes with it's own stresses. Why work FT if you don't have to when you're moving countries and have an 8 yo?

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