SAHM. Living Rural. Can't Drive. Feels so isolated.

[JammyBiscuit]

I was just wondering are there any other SAHPs out there who live rurally, can't drive and have no access to public transport? If I want to go to my nearest town it costs about £40 there and back in a taxi, so its a rare treat to go out by ourselves. There is no public transport where I live. I just wonder if I am the only one? I feel like an alien on another planet at times! My dd is a 8mnth old baby and I am learning to drive, albeit rather slowly!

You need to use some of the savings to have an intensive driving course asap. Isolation with a baby is not healthy for either of you.

Just keep going with your driving lessons and keep reminding yourself why you're doing it.

I avoided learning to drive for a long time. Then we moved to the countryside and I had no choice - had to drive. I took lots of lessons, passed the test and now looking back I cannot believe I didn't do it sooner. It makes life - especially with a baby - so much easier. You can do it!

Just for solidarity I'm in the same position OP!
Live very rurally (there is a bus service but takes an hour to get to town that's an 8 minute drive away because it goes round rhe back of beyond. Also they are not at all frequent!)
I have a 5 year old and an 8 month old and I'm learning to drive too! DH also can't drive.
I have my first lesson next month after being on a waiting list for 7 months and I'm learning in an automatic to hopefully pass quicker 😂 with the cost of living crisis we are struggling like everyone else but it's obviously such a priority that were making it work- 1 hour a week lesson is better than not doing any.
I will say it feels really infantalising not being able to drive and take my children to places we want to go if I can't get there myself (birthday parties, days out, appointments etc) without the help of my mum. It was always our plan when moving here from our very urban location to be closer to my mum, we knew I would have to learn to drive but with the COVID backlog with driving lessons and tests it's taken a lot longer to even get started.

Does your local authority run a dial-a-ride service? There is one around us, you book in online I believe and it goes around all the villages picking people up. Bit cheaper than a taxi while you’re learning to drive.

I also second the idea of a bike with a seat while you’re learning, it would give you a bit more freedom to check out local playgroups etc. Most villages around our way have something in their hall or the church for parents with babies and toddlers. They were a lifeline for me.

Have you looked at where there is public transport? Could you walk/cycle to the n next village and then catch a bus?

Contact your local home-start? They'll match you with a volunteer who'll come and visit once a week - if the problem is isolation then they can often pair you with a driver who will help you get out and access things?

Learn automatic - it's a complete game changer

I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to reply. You have all given me some great ideas for how to improve my situation whilst I learn to drive. It is so nice to know that I am not the only one out there. It makes me feel a bit more human!
Just for context, my village is more like a hamlet. There are no amenities at all. It is relatively near a town, only 20mins away in a car but because of the position of the village there are no friendly pedestrian footpaths in or out of it, just an A road through it. So it can feel like living on a desert island. My driving lessons are going well so I think I will ok but it's great that I could do things like a dial a ride. That will make day trips a lot cheaper for me.
My heart goes out to all of you in a similar position to me. Hearing your voices has made feel a lot better. Thank you so much and love to you all x

@JammyBiscuit how's the driving going?

Hope you've succeeded with the driving OP? 🙂

Living semi rurally with no means of transport, is tough.

This is mad. Saving money isn’t worth trashing your day to day live and mental health. I would move.

Just an update to this that I passed my test last year. It took me over a hundred hours to feel confident enough but I passed with only 1 minor. If you're struggling to learn hang in there. It's made a huge improvement to my life. And thank you for the recommendation of Homestart, whilst I couldn't drive they came out once a week to take me and dd out to softplay. Wonderful charity.

Well done you!!!

Congratulations! I passed last year too, after more hours than I can count, but it is absolutely life changing. Well done for hanging in there, and 1 minor is a great result (I passed 2nd time with 3 minors)

Can you learn in an automatic to speed the process up?
Edit - just saw the update, that's great!