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A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.


How do you keep upbeat as SAHP?

10 replies

Strawberry881 · 16/01/2023 21:24

How do you keep upbeat and positive as a stay at home parent?

Throughout the day I’m often absorbing the moaning/whining/complaining of our 3 children.

They are wonderful kids but I find it hard to stay positive when that’s often all I hear in a day.

It’s so hard when there’s generally no other adults to talk to from 7am to 7pm.

During the winter I’m finding it harder to get out of the house with threenager and feel a bit constrained by needing to be home in time for school pick up.

Practical tips on how to not let this get to me please?

OP posts:
Trofie · 16/01/2023 21:27

Is it worth me asking whether this is really the life you want? If I were feeling this negative about my daily life, I’d be looking at making some changes. Are you planning on returning to work at some point?

BigBangSmallBang · 16/01/2023 21:37

I think the fact you don’t speak to adults is your problem. No matter how hard it is you need to get out and about. Toddler groups, meet mums at soft play, go to the park and chat to other parents etc etc It will help make the time pass and the children will be tired and sleep better.

Dacadactyl · 16/01/2023 21:43

You need to get out and about. I couldn't have been a SAHM and kept my sanity without all the groups I went to.

Go to soft play, playgroups, swimming lessons etc. Contact your local councils Family Information Service for a list of playgroups in your area. Your children will enjoy it too and you'll make some friends.

Strawberry881 · 16/01/2023 22:51

Thanks all. I think covid lockdowns have played a huge part - the groups that are on in our area seem mostly aimed at babies now.

We regularly go to softplay etc but there seems to be only a handful of people there. The same with the parks etc. If there’s no other children in the park she won’t play and just asks to go home.

It’s really tough. I don’t know what other people with young kids do.

The other 3-4 year olds in her nursery class seem to go to another nursery, and various wrap around care activities the remainder of the week.

The friends I have from my older children are at work in the week. I do see friends on the school run a couple of times a week but it’s usually a quick 5-10 minute chat.

OP posts:
Strawberry881 · 16/01/2023 22:56

Trofie · 16/01/2023 21:27

Is it worth me asking whether this is really the life you want? If I were feeling this negative about my daily life, I’d be looking at making some changes. Are you planning on returning to work at some point?

I’m not sure, I think so? But I also feel kind of trapped too? I quit my high pressure long hours job to focus on my family and a lot of it has been amazing. But I have no hobbies etc (because of the job and now the children) I’m just a Mum 24 hours a day, and often feel like I’m a failure at both my career and home life

OP posts:
Violet1988 · 21/01/2023 14:45

Hi I relate a little bit to this though I'm back at work part time now. Mum friends from older two kids moving on with working more hours and didn't make any friends with number 3 and they didn't go for a third. Where abouts in the country do you live. Agree with keep looking for toddler groups or classes like football or gymnastics?

Blendandmix · 24/01/2023 21:26

I've got a a 14 month old but we go to a lot of classes where I've made friends so that keeps us quite busy. A few of my nct friends aren't back at work yet so we still get to go to the pub quite abjt but it's harder being confined indoors with the kids now!

ive met quite a few SHAMs too which is nice. We go to at least 1 group a day or see some friends. Or do something. But obviously I have it a lot easier as just 1. Are any in childcare?

Have you heard of the app peanut? It's tinder for mums. You could try and meet up with some other SAHM or people who work PT?


Blendandmix · 24/01/2023 21:27

Sorry ignore the childcare question

Slobbet · 24/01/2023 21:38

Can you get online and try and meet some other mums? Also invite the mums you like out for a play in the park after school pick up or the cinema

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 24/01/2023 21:42

You have to make time for yourself. Most of my friends only work part time so we meet up regularly. When the kids were smaller we did at least one activity every day and whilst it's harder with preschool age, I live in rural Scotland and could still find 5 or 6 groups locally if I wanted/needed.

Getting outside everyday is massively important I think. Also I try and set dd up with an activity like painting/playdough/crafting she can do by herself so I get time to myself during the day when she's not at preschool.

What about studying? I'm currently doing degree number 3, the 2nd one with the OU since I became a sahm. Go to the library? Ours is small but has a variety of activities across the week.

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