Where to meet SAHPs of babies

[GoldenCagedBird]

I’m in my late twenties and ALL of the women I’ve met and clicked with will be returning to full time work soon. I completely understand that their time will be precious and they won’t be able to give up their only day off in the week to meet me for a coffee. Just how it is.

I have a neighbour who is a SAHM who is very sweet but she has multiple, older preschool aged children. As the dynamic is completely different when we go out. I usually have a sleeping tot in a pramsuit who they want to poke, lots of noise and interactive days out that my baby gets little out of. I also send she sees me as a bit of a baby too, and despite how her heart is in the right place- I get a lot of unsolicited and odd advice.

Any ideas? I’ve tried Peanut but keep getting ‘liked’ by women like my neighbour. She is very nice but I wish I could find someone at a similar life stage to me. I don’t care about age, but 1st baby.

And just to rant….I feel down about it all really. I have been on the receiving end of A LOT of cattiness veiled as concern ‘won’t you be so terribly bored?! I would kill myself!!’ etc. etc.

I am very happy in my choice (and it is my choice, haven’t been priced out of work or anything) to take a career break…but it’s still not nice to think that other young professionals who were once my social group think I’m some kind of surrendered wife saddo.

God I wish women would be kinder to each other! Well done for choosing the right path for you.
The most obvious suggestion is local church toddler groups, sensory groups etc...one of my now best mum friends I met on a boring Wednesday in the park playground.
Look out for cafes with a little play area for small children. There are always mums there with young kids.
Your local library probably offers free bounce & rhyme or similar classes.

I agree with the previous poster that local library and church groups are good for meeting other SAHPs or people working part time too. Sorry to hear you’ve had so much negativity! I’m in a very similar position to you (same age, first baby and SAHM by choice) and have had lots of positive responses, so not everyone thinks that way. Not that it should matter what anyone else thinks as long as you and your family are happy, and it sounds like you are!

Post on your local fb mums group. I did and now have a group of 12 mums who meet weekly, and a bigger group who chat on whatsapp and meet for dinner every 6 weeks. Some of the mums on mat leave will go back to work, but lots go back part time.

I was/am in a similar position to you! I was late 20s when DD1 was born and I didn’t go back to work. Lots of my mum friends did start going back to work which was tricky, but luckily some were freelance/part time so still around in the week to meet up. I had my second baby a few months ago and have a good network of mum friends/neighbours as some have had second babies at the same time as me.
Agree that church toddler groups are a good way to meet people. Did or do you breastfeed? Maybe you could volunteer as a peer support at a breastfeeding group.

Also look up Mothers At Home Matter. They are a charity focussing on SAHMs and issues that are important to them. They have support group around the country where mums can meet. I have just started as a leader for my local group and looking forward to organising some meet ups and things

Ignore the comments about ‘omg I would be so bored, couldn’t look after my kids every day all day, I would die’ etc

everyone is different and want different things from life. Be proud that you have chosen to spend the important first years with your little one 😊

There is no job more valuable than staying at home with your little one in my opinion 😊

We go to toddler groups/classes 5/6 days a week but it is much harder to stop and talk to people when you have an active toddler than it was with babies who just laid there 🤣

One of my (ex) best friends called me a “caged wife” because I was willing to move to another country for my husband’s work!

I’ve only just had my first baby at 31 but I decided to be “just” a housewife some years ago and am now a SAHM. It’s really tough sometimes, but I love it! I found seeking out homemaker/SAHM YouTubers really comforting, as it can be hard to find women of our generation who want to stay home full-time. Not that they should replace real-life connections, but it definitely helps me to watch videos by other ladies leading similar lives.