Divorce

[Ladywithbaby]

Hi everyone, I’m hoping someone can help. I don’t really have anyone to talk
to about this.

I’ve been with my husband for 19 years, since we were teenagers. We’ve have a pretty nice relationship, a few bumps along the way but nothing we’ve never been able to move passed.

we got married 7 years ago and have two children, a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I am a stay at home mum. I have no job. I started a business selling products that I make but I don’t really sell anything.

its a very long story but we now feel our only option is to divorce.

I don’t even know how I go about finding a job around my children who are not in childcare. My oldest son is at nursery 2 1/2 days but my youngest son is 1 and is just at home with me. I can’t afford childcare and neither of the grandparents are able to help as they work.

what do I do? We’re in a mortgaged house? I rely on my husband completely financially. Do I find a Saturday job and then claim
benefits? I just don’t know what to do? My family can’t help me financially. I worked hard to build a career before giving up my
job to be a stay at home mum and settling away from London which is where my career was. I can’t just go back into my old job anyway, the company is gone. I have a small business but it’s actually costing me money at the moment.

does anyone have any advice? How do I even buy food? Where do I start? I’ve got to keep it together for my children.

Deep breath. Many have been in this position before you, there are ways through even if you are shocked and can’t see them at the moment.

Short term and long term are slightly different.

Short term you are married so in the immediate term you should have access to whatever money you had access to before - I realise this is all “his” but they are his children and you are married so you have a little protection.

Who will be staying in the family home? What is the house worth minus the mortgage? Any other savings?

Have you looked in all the benefits you are entitled to including childcare element of UC, tax free credit. Don’t forget child maintenance. Ultimately you may need to move to some where cheaper.

Is your ex currently being amicable? Has he suggested anything?

Firstly get your own bank account and get the child benefit paid into it.
If you are divorcing, so living together but separate, I believe you can claim UC.
Does you both have a private pension ?
Ring around family solicitors to get a free first chat. Write a list of questions so you make the most of it.