Any other SAHP with little support

[toastandmoretoast]

Is anyone else struggling with being the sole source of entertainment for their toddler while other half at work? I love my boy and try to keep him entertained as best I can Monday to Friday while his dad’s at work but I’m finding it really hard as we hardly ever see anyone else. My family (mum, brother) take little interest and we have an awkward relationship. My other half’s parents/sister don’t stay all that close and don’t visit often. My only good friend with kids I don’t see much even though I do try. I take him to classes every week, usually more than one and I do get chit chatting to other mums, grans etc but not a lot. It used to be better when he was a baby as we saw family more but now he’s 19 months and I’m finding it hard. Just wondering how anyone else in a similar situation manages day to day

I don’t mean this in an unfriendly way - but as a SAHP this is part of the job. If it’s not for you, would it maybe be better to go back to paid work? Other than the regular groups and the odd friend meet up that you’re already doing I don’t know what you’re hoping for really. I went back to work part time, 3 days a week when DS was around 18 months old. 5 days a week with just you and toddler can become a bit of a slog. 2 days and I really appreciate the time we have for just us.

I found this too when when I had a year off for Mat leave. Being a mum is lovely but it does get lonely and boring at times.

I used to go to classes and as DS got older just ordinary play areas like ball pools and so on to meet other mums. I made 2 friends from mums and tots.

Have you any plans to go back to work even part time? It's not just the money it's the conversation and adult interaction you would get too.

Thanks for the replies @EV117 @KELLOGSspeck I have thought about going back to work part time but decided it would be best to wait till my son is at nursery so I have more options for where and when I can work. I feel like being a SAHP could be great if you have a good support network though. I know there must be lots of other people in the same boat and just wonder how much it affects them or if I’m focusing too much on the negative. Me and my son have a very good bond, probably because we have so much one on one time together. I guess I need to try and be more positive

Toast I absolutely agree. I have a 3yo & 16mo. My mum had planed to help but became very ill when my first was a baby. She loves them but our plan of her having them for a couple of afternoons every week can't happen. My fil died very suddenly just before the youngest was born and mil is not in a position to help. It is hard I have a mum friend who has her 2 with her mum one day a week, her dad one day a week and in laws frequently. My toddler refused to go to nursery. I would love a couple of hours a week. My partner is great but he works a lot to support us. I feel lucky to be able to be a sahm and wouldn't change it for the world, but it's OK to wish I had some help imo.

This is my worst nightmare so I enjoyed a lovely maternity leave year and then skipped back to full-time work

It can be extremely lonely, boring and frustrating at times. I've found people just presume all is well unless you tell them otherwise, if you want/need some company/help you need to speak up.

SAHM to 6 (8mth - 16yrs), got a dog and dh works away for long stints. We don't see much of anyone tbh but I've got plenty to keep me busy, being social has me playing catch up with household stuff so not so keen on it these days. My me time is my gym sessions 3 times a week, home set up so still with the kids.

I can totally relate! It can be exhausting my partner is still working from home which isn't ideal. I don't have anyone to do things with and if i do go out to children centres or shops it can be a struggle as i live on the second floor with no lift. Nevertheless i still try my best to take her to the park or for walks when the weather is nice enough.

Other than that it’s basically the same thing every day unless we go to visit family once in a while. Theres only so much toys and activities you can do so we do watch a lot of TV/ YouTube unfortunately. I still love and cherish every moment of being a SAHP.

I've been there and it is hard. I had very little support or social contact when my son was a baby and toddler. My husband worked 12 hour days and the days are long and lonely!

I found you need to have a bit of a routine and that helps plan the day and break it up a bit.

So we used to have playgroups a couple of mornings a week, then home for lunch, he'd have a nap and then we'd maybe walk to the park/shops/garden/playtime until the whole dinner/bath/bed routine.

The days we didn't have any groups in the morning I would normally try and do housework and either get little one "involved" or he'd just play with his toys or follow me around for a bit.

Getting out every day helps. Even just a walk round the block, walk to the post box, get a loaf of bread from the shops. Getting out breaks up the day.
Me and my son would do silly things like go out in the car with a sandwich and eat it in the car parked up somewhere - we called it a car picnic. But it got us out and changed the scene a bit.

I struggled to find any "mum friends" until my son went to preschool at 3. He then made a nice little group of friends and I was friends with the mums. It meant we'd then have more people to meet up with for a coffee or play date.

It is lonely at times being a sahm without many people around to support.

I found my son would sit for ages and listen to me reading. He liked me to entertain him and I found this a lot easier and more interesting than other games around the house. It gave me a chance to sit down too.

It's a long time since I was in your position but I always found it easier if we left the house.
Swimming
Library
Park
Baby classes
Museums
Shopping
Even in wet weather. We went out every day

Plan a "thing" to do every day. It makes a world of difference. He'll be old enough for playgroups soon too and that really helps, or find a gym with a crèche.

Have you tried every cheap activity/group going in your area? I used to drive slightly out of area to every Mother & Toddler group around. When you work out the people you'd want to spend more time with, invite them & child round for coffee/play.