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SAHP

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

Original poster

I want to stay home!

29 replies

AlfieJMummy · 02/03/2022 22:49

my partner wants to change jobs/careers as he’s unhappy in his job and we have an 8 month old. I haven’t gone back from maternity leave yet and I am desperate to stay home with my little one. I have panic attacks thinking about going back to work and the thought of leaving him breaks my heart!

anyway, my question is, what job does your partner do to make enough for you to stay home and live comfortably? I don’t want my little one to miss out on days out/birthdays ect.

OP posts:
thebeespyjamas · 23/04/2022 19:53

ddshocker · 02/03/2022 23:04

Well putting aside the fact that I wouldn't because I want to be independent, it depends on a few things
1.are you married?

  1. What are the household outgoings?
  2. What are you expecting from dh? Financially, around the house etc etc
4.what does your partner want, because to be honest it's not just your decision @AlfieJMummy

A family is a unit. You are not independent in a family, you are part of a family.

Do you talk about independence from your children? They depend on you so you can't be can you?

Stop.

thebeespyjamas · 23/04/2022 20:01

Pegasussnail · 03/03/2022 10:16

I think it's unfair to put the whole financial burden of the house to your husband

You could go part time and still have the best of both worlds.

The domestic burden is just as much as financial. Keeping the home, having meals ready, laundry done, enables the income earner to do their job.

It's equal to but not the same contribution to the household.

A family work in unison, not on islands.

thebeespyjamas · 23/04/2022 20:13

Margo34 · 22/03/2022 12:15

DH is in a well paid job (food industry, import export) but we decided together that I would go back to work part time despite being able to afford being a SAHM. I worked my ass off for my career to get to where I am and it would be very hard to get back in from the outside without any current CPD or up to date experience, so I'm keeping my foot in the door.

Another thing to thing about re financials of being a SAHP - you'll have no independent income now but also later down the line when you reach retirement, your pension will have been scuppered too as you won't be working to maintain contributions so you'll likely be financially dependent on your DP then too. Just something else to consider.

The great thing about the last couple of years as the shift to remote working.

I discovered via my own jobseeking that tech companies were always operating this way and, especially if you are in bookeeping and finance you can get remote roles that allow you to work from home.

I work from home. Sometimes my work day runs 12 hours, but I can fit all my domestic tasks in during my breaks. My child doesn't miss me and my husband has the freedom to pursue a career that will become very lucrative. Not having to worry about cooking, cleaning, laundry, or anything domestic means he can fully focus on that.

A SAHM's contribution to the home invaluable and completely complementary to family life.

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/04/2022 20:15

The domestic burden is just as much as financial. Keeping the home, having meals ready, laundry done, enables the income earner to do their job.

This may astound people but dinner is on the table and laundry is done in my house and Shock we both work.

Do you want to stay at home forever, or just a couple of years? Because that's a different thing.

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