SAHM teacher returning to work

[Bootsandcats12]

For the last 3 years I’ve been a SAHM to DD1(3) and DD2(6months) Prior to starting a family I was a teacher in an independent school. A full time post has come up at a local independent school and I’m tempted to apply. It’s a great school, not to far and it would be good for the CV. Mainly though it would mean that both children could qualify for reduced fees in order to attend. The secondary schools in our catchment really aren’t that great hence the pull of this job. There’s no way we could afford private school fees without a reduction; in fact even with a reduction my salary (if I was successful in getting the job) would cover both children going there with just a bit left over.

However, in my heart I know I want to spend the time with my DCs rather than being frazzled for 6 weeks at a time. I feel sad that both DCs (particularly baby) would have to go into full time childcare. I know this is silly and they’d be absolutely fine but they’ve been only ever been with me and the thought of leaving them and returning to full time work breaks my heart. Time goes so quickly and I know I’ll never get this time back.

I know I’ve been lucky to stay at home but we have made sacrifices and money is tight. Returning to work would give us more money and the possibility for private education. But in the short term it would be tricky getting both children to childcare, it would be costly and I’d be miserable about leaving them.

WWYD?

[Bootsandcats12]

Please excuse the typos (don’t worry I’m definitely not an English teacher 😅)

[Eupraxia]

I would wait and stay at home with baby, at least until nursery age (3y).

Jobs will come up again.

[Really18]

You need to weigh up the pros and cons. Personally, I would wait until the baby is a little bit bigger. You need to consider not only the time you will be at work but also the amount of work you will need to bring home.

[MadameHeisenberg]

I would definitely go back to work. The longer you are out, the harder it is to get back in. You’ll have more money, more opportunities, more financial independence & security and be an excellent role model to you kids.

[CrimbleCrumble1]

Would you be better off if you got the job and then paid the reduced school fees?

[DoItAfraid]

I would take the job in a heartbeat.

[2reefsin30knots]

If you are a shortage subject you could enquire whether they would consider part time for a year or two with a view to full time in the near future.

I've negotiated part time jobs on the back of full time adverts a couple of times.

[Howeverdoyouneedme]

You don’t need to worry about jobs in teaching. I was out for 8 years, got a job in a matter of weeks when I decided to go back.

Also, the role model thing is bollocks.

Go back if you want to and/or need the money.

I’m not sure I’d advise sending your children to the school you work in if it’s private. What if you want to leave and then have to move them?

[Nopeihavenoidea]

Look after your children. You will find a job when you want to go back but you will never be able to get the time with your children again

[MadameHeisenberg]

Most women who take career breaks struggle to return OP, hence why there is a growth in returnship programs to specifically address this problem.

And people who say they were out for years and walked back in after a couple of weeks of looking are either (i) highly unusual or (ii) lying.

[OnceuponaRainbow18]

Can you see if the job could be done 0.7-0.8

Personally I wouldn't take a full time teaching job with 2 young kids! I tried for a term, was horrific

[MrsR87]

I’m a teacher with a one year old and am currently pregnant in my first trimester with my second. I am currently, desperately trying to come up with a plan for what I’m going to do when the maternity leave for baby number two ends. I’d manage to convince myself that I could somehow work smarter than I did before I had a child and not work evenings and weekends. So not only is my baby in full time child care, he doesn’t even get my full attention when I’m at home. It’s all so overwhelming and in my opinion, not fair on my little boy! In your situation, I would wait. 60 hour weeks are no fun with one toddler never mind a toddler and small baby! There will be other jobs.

[PotteringAlong]

If you’re happy to commit to working there until 2041 then go for it. If you’re not, then your plan doesn’t stack up anyway…

[HardbackWriter]

@MadameHeisenberg

Most women who take career breaks struggle to return OP, hence why there is a growth in returnship programs to specifically address this problem.

And people who say they were out for years and walked back in after a couple of weeks of looking are either (i) highly unusual or (ii) lying.

But teaching is unusually open to returners. In fact the only women I personally know who have had long periods not working but gone right back to their old level have been teachers.

I think I'd wait if I were you, OP - and I say that as someone who's never taken time out of work other than maternity leave. Being at home when they were very little obviously really mattered to you so I think you'll find going back when the baby is so young, and full-time too, really hard. There will be other jobs - and I take your point about securing places for secondary but you have 8 years to do that.

[MadameHeisenberg]

It’s possible that certain industries (teaching, HGV-driving?) are more flexible for returners and have worker shortages so are willing to accept a career gap. However, for most, they aren’t.

[Onatree]

Apply.

And take up the job if offered.

As the parent of a 6 year old and a 2 year old - I would never do my career any differently than what I did : return to work at 6 months both times and not break my career.

[Autumn42]

Personally I would wait if you would really prefer to be at home with your little ones or possibly consider a part time position?

[mrsnw]

I'm a primary school teacher and had seven years out to look after my two children. I walked straight back into a job. My pension has taken a battering though. Take the time out to be with your children,

[Autumn42]

P.s I was facing the option of going from SAHM to a position advertised as full time, fortunately they agreed to me doing part time as now I’m in the job love it but know now would definitely have hated doing it doing it full time. Even when have taken on overtime it’s totally burnt me out and ball have been dropped at home. Although everyone’s circumstances are different

[hellowembley]

I had this exact scenario a few years ago. I ended up applying, negotiating full time down to 0.75, took the job. My daughters were 12 months and 3 when I started. They now both attend the school with reduced fees.
I have found it manageable… the benefits of having them both at the same school where I teach are huge and make my life easier. I also feel grateful I can give the opportunity to attend this school which they wouldn’t do otherwise so I am glad I dug in when they were younger, despite having the same fears you do about leaving them at the time

[Bootsandcats12]

Thank you everyone for your perspectives. It’s definitely given me plenty to think about and consider. In an ideal world I’d go for a part time position - hearing from teachers who’ve gone back full time with little ones has been helpful! Thanks all 💐

[Applesarenice]

I’d 100% do it (and have done it). As teachers we will get all the holidays with our own children. It’s mad during term time of course, but the financial difference it has made and having some time to be ‘me’ again has been priceless

[BrambleRoses]

It’s really difficult decision wise.

I think the above points regarding going back are subject and area specific though. Yes, there’s a national shortage but some areas and subjects are fine which is worth remembering.

[radioactive4]

@mrsnw

I'm a primary school teacher and had seven years out to look after my two children. I walked straight back into a job. My pension has taken a battering though. Take the time out to be with your children,

Same. Took 7 years out and walked back in to a high paying job. Not a teacher though. Just to say that it's doable! I went back full time.