Struggling. Seriously struggling.

[SWAttempting]

I'm on day 4 of being a SAHP.

I went back to work when my LO was 6M because of finances. OH is emergency services and we've top and tailed shifts since then. LO is now 15 months.

Since LO his 13 months & his naps changed, OH couldn't cope with lack of sleep and being on front line during the early hours (until 2am)

Equally OH can earn what I did in 80 hours over 26 days in 3 O/T shifts a month.

LO is medically complex & not covered by insurance for childcare due to birth injury and investigations. We can't fund 1-2-1 placement at £90 a day. Until he has a diagnosis we won't get help.

However it's day 4 of giving up work and I need to go back to work 😩 By this point in the week I would of have at least a 8 hour rest bite of being "Mum" - I'm on day 4 with zero rest bite. Whatsoever.

When does he nap? If he is disabled do you get portage or respite? Does your husband do the usual 4 on 4 off and if so, will he be helping on his days off? Are you getting out and about with your son as this is much easier than sitting about the house.

@RussianSpy101

Nope no restbite or support at the moment. LO is under urology, neonatology, neurology, immunology & the paediatrics. No one will give him a diagnosis until at least 2. Birth injury diagnosis can be up until 5 🤷🏻‍♀️ He was born with 42ml of blood from a mass vile silent FMH.

OH has yet to help out at all. He has done sweet FA around the house in the past 4 days. He is on 6 on 4 off, 6 on 4 off, 4 on 4 off...

He naps twice a day but at the moment where I'm so burnt out from being solid back to back for 11 months I try and catch up on sleep when he does!

I just want an hour of quite where I'm not a climbing frame, I don't have responsibility, I don't have to step in, I don't have to do house work etc. etc.

OH has yet to help out at all. He has done sweet FA around the house in the past 4 days. He is on 6 on 4 off, 6 on 4 off, 4 on 4 off

There's your problem. Go out and have a few hours alone time, leave DC with your husband

@DockOTheBay

I know I know!

I've been up since 4AM. All chores are done. LO is bathed and fed. LO has peed on the floor. 💩 in the bath. And I'm about an inch away from bursting into tears.

I miss working. I miss being able to lock myself away for 8 hours.

OH still asleep in bed. Was home by 23:30 & in bed by 00:00. He has had more sleep than I've had.

(Note: he doesn't do night shifts, his department go until 02:00 at the latest)

@SWAttempting ah I asked about the naps as I was going suggest sleeping when baby does.

I would look at booking a hotel for the night when DH is off. You can’t keep running on empty and it’ll force him to step up. Will your son be able to go to nursery? Wen for a couple of mornings a week?

*even for

It's a hard adjustment but you'll get there. Finding something you can do for yourself around the lo is helpful.

I've been a sahm for 11 years, dh is military so away a lot. I missed working initially but it passed. After our 4th/5th I felt like I'd lost myself, twin pregnancy did a lot of damage to my body so I was in pain most of the time too. We got a home gym set up, we'd had it over a year before I started using it but once I carved out the time to use it it became my me time. I repaired the pregnancy damage, lost excess weight and found it improved my mental health massively. We have another baby now, she is awesome and will sit in her little chair watching me train (she's used to the noises as I trained through most of pregnancy).