Going part time

[AlviesMam]

I'm stepping down from my role at work and going to another job part time due to nursery costs and work life balance- i feel like a failure because I've worked hard to be where I am today and feel like I'm going backwards. I know the change will be so much better for my family life and save the fortune we were paying for nursery but it's all getting real now and I'm getting scared. Can anyone help me feel better about this?! I'm 30 with a one year old DD - I was working 45 hours a week , had 80mins travel time on my day and found it exhausting still trying to keep the household afloat with daily jobs, cooking, cleaning etc. I feel very nervous about it all

It’s going to be okay. You will have tough days and may feel frustrated but one day, in about a decades time you’ll look at your 10 year old and be so grateful for the years you had with her. I promise x

You are only 30. You still have likely 35 years of your working life left.
Try not to feel like you’re going backwards or failing & see your world of work & career instead ‘like a marathon, not a sprint’. Also the only person you’re ‘competing’ against is yourself.

Are you a single parent? If not, why are all the cost and all the household tasks falling to you?

Would you not be better sitting down with your DP and sharing some of that? And the nursery costs! It may mean that you can think about stepping back to FT (or longer PT) sooner than you think

You need to do what's right for you. I kept my full-time highly paid job and instead we farm out household tasks, so have a cleaner, gardener, pay for any type of DIY etc. You shouldn't need to justify your choices, just do what feels right for your family.

It's complicated as I've always been on a high salary, lost my job on maternity due to covid, felt pressured into finding something quick, went back into the same role but obviously with a different company when dd was 5 months, this is where I am now. It pays 10k less and I have the same stress, this new part time role is a few hundred less a month but works out same because I now don't have nursery to pay. No jobs around at the moment at salary I should be on for my role. Even if there was I would really have to think about what was more important to me. I want more time off with dd of course but I somehow feel like I'm going to lose my myself coming away from a busy demanding role (even thought it's crap money) and I feel like I may feel lost. I really am confusing myself. Probably just needed to vent!

Husband works very hard he's self employed and never stops, does is fair(ish) share of housework and is brilliant with dd he pays for more things as he earns more but our bills are quite high and our bills are still as high from when I was a high earner! I've never worked part time so it's all a big change.

Thank you for all your comments

It is s big change and definitely one that prompted me to think who am I, what am I?

But if you want more time with your daughter and financially it looks like going part time balances out with full time once everything is taken into account and you get the time with your daughter you want then it looks like a no brainer to me.

I'm sure there's so much more to you than a busy job, look forwards not backwards x

I know how you feel, I've gone back to work part time (3 days per week) after having DS. Given I'm doing less days I'm on less exciting projects and am not around for many team meetkngs/ events so feel a bit left behind.
My son really wasn't getting on that well at nursery, it has improved as time has gone on but I can definitely see he is much happier and more "himself" on my days off and the weekend. So I feel I've made the right decision. I also see him growing up so fast, he is just starting to say a few words now. I feel like I'm lucky to have this time to spend with him.
Although I worry about my career, I think I can probably step up to 4 days a week as my boy gets a little older and maybe back to full time once he starts school??
I feel we would all struggle a lot with the house, mainly food prep, if I was working full time. My husband cooks a lot for us but is not home for DS meal time.

I've recently done similar to you and moved from a busy 5 day role to a different 3 day one. With a one year old at home I really wanted the extra time with him and would really struggle to keep on top of the house with working full time.

So far I am loving the new balance. I try and plan things in for my days off so that the week still feels nicely full.

Helps that so far I am also enjoying my new job more than my old one. And I always know if it stops working out then I can switch back to working full time and nothing is lost.

Thank you all I feel better about my decision