I've had enough..

[totallyfedup88]

Were any of you SAHM’s before getting pregnant?
I was but I had a part time job which hours got cut to only 3 hours after COVID and then I haven’t worked since January because of the hyperemesis.

I just feel so down at the moment, like my existence is pointless. My partner brings in all the money, he’s been doing all the cooking and a good 3/4 of looking after our son.. I just feel like while I’ve been pregnant/unwell the world has just adapted to me being absent and now everyone is fine without me.
I feel like I don’t contribute anything at all and I just wish this pregnancy was over so I could get my body and life back and get a job and start to feel like me again. I’m in such a bad place.
18 months ago things were ok, I had my job, my little boy needed me more..

I just feel so down all the time. I lost my sister suddenly last year and still cry almost every day. I went from planning a wedding that got cancelled 6 weeks before thanks to COVID to my relationship nearly being over - he's said himself he thinks it was a blessing in disguise.
I'm even down about my looks I feel like I look so rough and this year has aged me - I used to have lovely long hair that got so thin I cut it all off and regret it, I used to look after myself getting nails and lashes done etc but I can't afford it now and don't go anywhere to justify spending it. I've lost friends. I look at pictures of myself from 2018 with lovely thick long hair and a genuine smile and feel like the rug has been swept from under me. I look in the mirror now and feel miserable. I just can't imagine ever being happy again and as I say feel like I contribute nothing to this family or life. I don't think the pregnancy helps but I can't remember the last time I felt genuinely happy or laughed and really felt it. I barely smile never mind laugh.

Sorry I just needed to rant x

[Jellyfishnchips]

I’m sorry you’re feeling so rotten OP 💐 hang in there, it won’t always feel this awful, a lot of the lowness will be from the pregnancy and the stress and strain this puts on body, mind and emotions. I’m a SAHM too and just come through a difficult pregnancy where I also had to rely on DH much more to look after our toddler and me as well towards the end. I felt pretty useless some days and it can’t help but get you down. Your existence is not pointless it just feels like that some days with emotions all over the place making you feel low, as a mum I would argue you are of infinite value to your little boy, partner and baby coming - you are a VVIP! 🙂 You might not feel like it but you are contributing, and something so wonderful and precious that no one else could do in growing your baby, which will be with you and bring love and happiness into your family forever. Money is money, you can always make more later. A baby is a unique beautiful thing you will love sharing your lives with and it takes WORK(!) to grow them, bring them into the world and look after them, it”s not paid work but is the hardest job in the world.

You will feel so much better the other side of pregnancy, you really will, the difference I feel even just 1.5 weeks postnatal is a huge relief, it’s night and day. Getting your body back (ok so it feels sore and achey as you’d expect and will take time to feel fully strong and completely back to ‘normal’ but there’s still a wonderful sense of relief and being able to move in ways you couldn’t heavily pregnant) being able to put baby down instead of carrying 24/7(!) . How many weeks are you?

Weirdly, I also got my hair cut short (from being nice and long) when I was pregnant last time and hated it! It was the worst haircut I’ve ever had and I was heavily pregnant at the time, the hairdresser barely looked at my hair while cutting she was busy chatting to a regular customer next to her - I just went home and cried. Did nothing for the sense of feeling rubbish I felt, as had been hoping for a bit of a boost. But do you know what with a bit of styling I managed to get it to look passable and baby days flew so fast it grew back in no time and it will for you too.

So hang in there, it really will get better after baby arrives, my emotions stabilised pretty much straight away and you can feel your body becoming more your own again a little every day postnatally. Don’t worry about work for now, just look after you and baby, your partner is there to help you and help look after your little one. The darkest hour comes before a beautiful bright dawn 💐 xx