How do they manage it?! 😳 Feeling deflated.

[C4SKI]

I feel like such a failure. I have a 1 year old and baby 2 is due in 7 weeks and am so exhausted I just don’t know how these yummy mummies manage to get up, dress up in nice clothes/makeup etc, play with their little ones all day without resorting to CBeebies and even work! I know I’m heavily pregnant but I felt like this before I became pregnant with my second. I live in leggings and tshirts, my hair pulled back I feel like a scruffy mess most of the time and can never seem to catch a breath. Admittedly we had a very traumatic birth (I was in ITU for the first few days) and so it’s not been an easy ride with no family nearby or support network but I’ve traditionally always been a super proactive person, on the ball efficient and organised (and glam!) but I feel like I’m utterly void of anything resembling that. My weight has been an issue since my first born so that doesn’t help. Just how do they do it?! I feel gross.

I think the 'yummy mummy' look is deceiving. I'm also a SAHM. Have an 18mo and pregnant with my second. Nothing glam about my life either😂 5 minutes to get put on some face cream, concealer and mascara in the morning. Hair tied up and comfy clothes. Hair gets washed in the evening when I have the energy, but often I prefer to relax in front of the TV😂 Can't give you any tips, but can reassure you aren't the only one.

It entirely depends on how much support your partner gives you to do things like wash your hair, get on top of the housework, work out, make dinner etc. I was always up and dressed and showered because between 7-8am, DH had the babies while I sorted myself out, he had them in the evenings 5.30-6.30 so I could make dinner/clean up, and we shared chores in the evening. If you're a team you're more likely to have time for these things

Don't be fooled by those who appear to manage it all. They are no doubt masking their own insecurities. There is no such thing as wonderwoman so while you think these women are sat on the floor playing with blocks and noisy irritating baby toys all day, chances are they have the tv on and have baby in front of it. When Ds was 3 he could almost recite Shrek word for word . You only need to concern yourself with your own household and stop looking at or thinking about anyone else's.

I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. If it’s bothering you so much why not dress differently though? Throw on a pair of jeans instead of leggings - it doesn’t take any extra time. A bit of mascara takes no time either, pop in a nice pair of earrings. A bit of dry shampoo to give your hair a bit of volume and ‘oomf’. I work and have a three year old, we leave the house at 7.15 in the morning so no way can I be bothered to do a full face of make-up like I used to or spend ages on my hair. There are obviously days off where we just want a comfy afternoon so I take off my bra and put my pj bottoms back on. Day to day I’m not glam by any means but I’m happy with how I present myself and the effort is very minimal.

Envying others because of how they appear is quite foolish.
you have no idea what it costs to cultivate that kind of image and I don't mean just financially. you don't know what goes on behind closed doors and you are forgetting that nobody is perfect and everyone has issues, baggage, pain, worries etc.

I'm sorry you feel resentful but I don't think paying attention to what others do or look like is ever gonna help you in any way.
so stop comparing yourself to others, especially stop beating yourself up about what you can't do right now.

instead of "I should" say "I'd like to".
Write a list of things you'd like to achieve for yourself, then set about doing them or at least analysing what you need to start.
you'll feel much better if you focus on yourself.

You could be my neice, as I know this is how she feels.
Firstly switch Instagram off. Don't compare yourself to other people. A clean t-shirt and a messy bun is an achievement when you have a baby.
Be kind to yourself, don't judge yourself and don't compare yourself to others. You body has done something amazing and is doing something else amazing.

How old is your one year old? Mine is 20 months and it's a terrible age, I do not get a minute to myself except when she's asleep! It's a really tough age. I actually can't believe I had my second baby when my first was that age, I can't imagine it now!

I also have a 4 year old and a 5 year and it does get easier.

I echo a pp that it depends what your partner is doing or is able to do. Mine does the kids breakfast every day before he goes to work so I can get ready and I always put a bit of makeup on and brush my hair because it just makes me feel more in control. Our kids are really early risers though or I would just get up before them and do the same!

I probably look quite put together for a mum of three kids aged five and under, but all it is is that I make sure I get 15 minutes to make myself look presentable! It's just something I have always done. I do wonder at my SIL who says she never has time to brush her teeth in the morning and her youngest child is older than mine, but everyone is different.

-have flattering but practical clothes for the size and shape you are now. I literally wear the same next jeans in three colours, have five sleeveless tops then add a black cardi or a sweatshirt.
-my makeup takes 3 minutes
-DH pulls his weight, SAHM doesn’t mean he gets out of every chore or task

You are being way too hard on yourself. Having a 1 year old and being heavily pregnant is very hard work.

Try and find activities where you can sit and watch. When I was in your position I'd sit my 1yo in a very shallow bath and let him splash away whilst I sat on a stool watching him.

Dry shampoo
Shower in the evening
Get up 15 mins before kids to do make up
Only have 3 outfits that you are confident you look good in then buy replicas of each item
Stipulate 'quiet time' in you house once the afternoon nap has stopped...an hour in their rooms to play/read/nap after lunch
Buy nice face products to treat/cover the wrinkles and under eye bags
Use childcare...even with two kids it's okay for one of them to go to a childminder once a week or a couple of mornings. Get a babysitter to have some time with partner
Get your partner to look after kids while you so something to treat yourself...hair, massage, walk, whatever.
Don't feel guilty about CBeebies
Go out every day, even if it's just for a walk. You cannot be in the house with young chn all day.

No mother at home or at work has their shit together all the time. I'm a SAHM, I look put together, I am barely keeping my shit together in reality. It all passes, some good days, some horrendous.

Being heavily pregnant with another child to look after is hard, don't be so harsh on yourself. Find something that makes you feel good about yourself and do it x

Also I wear make up every day because I feel like crap if I don't. Even if I'm just at home. It's because I'm insecure not glamorous x

I feel exactly the same way (also pregnant with a one year old). I was never a notably organised, put together person even before having my daughter, but I did at least look nice sometimes.

Maybe they are just using TV more than they admit to. I don’t know how else people pull it off. Admittedly I’ve got a pretty poor sleeper, which doesn’t help.

You will find far more knackered women than yummy mummies, I assure you. The difference is they tend to keep a low profile.

Because you are traumatised by such a bad time having your first, it's not surprising you feel as you do. I'm amazed at you having another so soon but there it is.

I see you have no family support nearby. If you could afford some part time help it would make a difference.

Others above have come up with good ideas for making you feel better, to which I cannot add.

I just want to reiterate that how you are feeling is quite normal, many of us were the same. Don't compare yourself to anyone else, just concentrate on you.