Why I am no longer having one and one playdates

[Musomama1]

Venting here, but I've been a sahm for over two years, I'm lucky enough that hub earns just enough for me to stay home with LO albeit frugally but, I've started back at work because of all the flaky mum's.

I love my mum friends, I really do, but meeting up, actually going through with a playdate, somewhere even close to on time has become massively hit and miss.

I've just got stood up by my friend's mother, so even the Nana's are at it!! This is the final straw. Anything I have planned I'm inviting other mums as I've had enough of this crap.

I’d find this annoying too, and if you want to go back to work fair enough. I don’t totally understand why the two are connected, though!

Yup. I know what you mean.

What I do now is set play dates up ON THE DAY. Surprising how many people are free and then I'm not committed either - I only do it if my kids are in the mood etc.

So over this finding a date 6 weeks in advance and by the time it comes around, they or we don't feel like it.

Spontaneous works.

People are so flaky. Agree that getting back to work is a relief. You can have some adult company without going through all this hassle.

It’s irritating when people are late, but it is hard with young children. Not sure what your friends being late for things has got to do with you going back to work though.

It's very odd to go back to work because mums flake on play dates. Surely you didn't choose to stay at home in order to socialise with other mums, but to spend time with/be available to your dc.

There are so many reasons to be late or have to cancel. This week we've had:

• a big regression with ds2 and potty training so have had to return home to clean him up.
• me having covid symptoms so everyone having to isolate
• ds1 feeling tired after school so having to skip a playdate.

I never have a problem with being cancelled on as I know what it's like. You seem to be taking it personally

My NCT group are like this. Arrange a date to meet up for brunch 6+ weeks in advance (it took a few polls with sets of dates but eventually we found one that worked, and everyone was quick to reply at this stage), then one week before, one of them realises the date weve picked is her DH's birthday(!!!), but says she "might" be able to make it. A few days before it turns out one of the others actually has DS's swimming lesson so she'll be late. And then on the day, another one is 30 mins late for no reason. I was FURIOUS!!!! But noone else seemed to care. So they probably aren't that bothered about actually meeting up, and I won't bother trying to find a date next time. Some people are just a bit flaky and rubbish. I hope they're better at your work OP!

Thanks for the replies mamas, update I did go back to work one day a week but sadly it didn't work out with childcare / timings for our family. I left on good terms and hopefully can go back in the future.

I don't think it's odd to want some good adult conversations during the week at all 🤣!
But I do agree I was taking things way too personally so thanks for the blunt talk.

I've made a couple more friends since then so if things get cancelled I can try playdates with others so things have improved. Also one of my neighbours goes to the café with us on her lunch break, she works from home and loves kids.