Hello. I seem to have improved recently, my toddler is 2.5 and I only have 2 kids not three, but some ideas for you:
If the older ones are clinging, create dedicated time for them when you get home from school. Then set an expectation that at x o’clock you will have to go and do some housework. Don’t try and do two things at once, and stay off your phone in this period. Then let them watch 45 mins tv or help you with the chores or play together (their choice).
I bought a little pack of toddler-safe plastic chopping. Kids sit at the kitchen table and chop the veg for dinner while I cook and do chores (I ignore the fact some of the veg has been nibbled and badly hacked and we eat a LOT of red peppers and salad which is easy to cut up).
I use the slow cooker a lot too, takes the pressure off dinner time when the kids are very needy, and if I cook something like chilli or Bolognese I make LOADS so there is some in the freezer for a few weeks.
I also have a rule that kids and adults eat virtually the same. I have become quite an expert at planning meals where there is a minimum to do to cook the adults’ dinner, which frees up time in the evening to do chores to prepare for next morning (see below).
Now your evening mealtimes are less frantic, you can clean up the kitchen while the kids are eating their meal (really hoping here your kids can eat in the kitchen, as that’s nicer). Last thing to do is get them to bring their dirty plates to you and the older one can help put them in the dishwasher while you quickly sort out the table/floor. Kitchen should be tidy before within minutes of kids finishing their tea, so you can then spend time with them.
At toddler bath time, get the older kids to sit in the bathroom and read to you. Or you read to them. And also practise any spelling or times tables homework together, practise tying shoelaces or telling the time. Whatever.
Get next morning’s stuff ready after you put the kids to bed, this is critically important. So that means:
- laundry in the washing machine, ideally with the timer on so the cycle is done when I am back from school run.
- packed lunch basics ready and planned (I still make the fresh food in the morning but I have lunch boxes out and water bottles refilled etc)
- school bags ready, coats and shoes out as needed (I always check weather forecast, so I know if I’ll need the buggy cover or if it is dry enough to cycle, and if the kids will need a coat or sun cream or whatever.
- clothes ready for the kids and teach them to get dressed themselves in the living then take their pjs upstairs or put in the laundry basket (toddler might need help for a while)
- kettle filled with water and coffee cup ready to go. The sooner caffeine in me, the better.
-slow cooker out, prep anything that will be needed to get it going next morning. Or get batch cooked meal out of freezer to defrost overnight in fridge.
If you can possibly get up an hour earlier than rest of the family, you are winning. If you can ride at 5.30am, you can do ironing, do the bins on bin day, do some yoga, tidy up, get life admin done… whatever.
Also teach your kids to get their own breakfast, keep plastic bowls, spoons and cereal it in an accessible cupboard. By 2, my toddler was getting his own breakfast, kinda cute.
Now your morning is under control the next day, and so you are not stressed. You need to teach your toddler either to help you with chores, or chop chores into little tiny jobs you can squeeze in while they are busy playing. Some jobs don’t allow this - ironing is a key example. I typically don’t bother with ironing, I just make sure I unload the washing machine promptly and stretch everything before I hang it out to dry.
Then my secret weapon is DH. He takes the kids to the park for a few hours at the weekend, and I use that time to do the jobs I can’t do with the kids around, like steam cleaning the floors and using Viakal on the shower door etc .
It is not easy, frankly, but it’s definitely possible.