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SAHP

To want to stay at home another 6 months with baby instead of sending her to nursery?

7 replies

Peridotty · 02/11/2020 17:22

My baby is 5 months old and I have to decide whether or not I should go back to uni in January. I will have to go into uni for three full days.
My husband currently WFH and will take paternity leave in January- March. After that, when she is 9 months old, she will have to go to a nursery or leave her with a nanny when I am at uni (3 full days).
She is currently breastfed only and I am the only one she will sleep for. I am scared that if I leave her in January she will not be happy. I am also terrified about the consequences of leaving a 9 month old baby in nursery for 3 full days.
Nursery is also super expensive but unavoidable. We live in the US and the fee is $175 (£134) a day. The ratio of caregivers to baby is 7 babies to 3 teachers which is pretty good. However, no nurseries are open yet due to the coronavirus.

I haven't been able to do any studying whilst on maternity leave. I fear I have forgotten a great deal and behind my classmates. If I take another 6 months off I could do some revision before I go back.

We have no family nearby who can help.

Should I take another 6 months off and start uni with the year below? I will graduate later meaning loss of future potential income and also miss being with my classmates or should I stay with my baby until she is 13 months old before going back. I also love and hate being a SAHM. It is often boring, relentless but also full of joy when I see my baby developing.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

8 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
13%
You are NOT being unreasonable
88%
EnidMatilda · 02/11/2020 17:58

I'd stay off another 6 months if you can afford it. Baby will change so much in that time and you won't be feeding as much and baby will probably sleep better. I don't think completing degree with the year below is a problem. I'm going back to work 3 full days and baby will be at nursery. Plenty have to do it and hopefully both our babies will adapt quickly. I'm nervous but ultimately not too concerned. I need to work and you need / want to study. Great role model for our babies.

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willowmelangell · 28/11/2020 14:38

Stay at home. Enjoy your dd. Use the revision time. Uni will still be there and you won't regret the time with dd.

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copperoliver · 28/11/2020 14:54

Stay at home and go back to uni once your child goes to school nursery. X

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Dowermouse · 28/11/2020 15:11

Stay at home if that's what your heart says. There are big benefits for both of you to continue breastfeeding at this age and a 13 month old who also has solids will be much better equipped to deal with nursery days than a small baby.

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AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings · 28/11/2020 16:25

Your baby will be fine if you want to go back - but it really sounds like you don't want to go back.

I'd stay off for a bit longer if I was you. And I found maternity leave a drudge!

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HelloRose · 28/11/2020 19:18

I'd stay off for another 6months. I can't see how it will make an enormous difference to your future earning potential if we're talking months & not years.

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Boshmama · 28/11/2020 19:28

I’d stay home too

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