how to survive and feel positive as a sahp

[Mueslimuselimusli]

Any tips welcome! Always admired others doing it before having my own, but now I'm a sahp I see myself as a bit of a lost failure. It's so relentless, little reward and rarely respected!

Tips welcome including ways to meet others like you. Covid is rubbish.

How old are your children and how many do I have?

You even!

Just one 12 month old. I don't know many sahm which is hard!

I found the transition from successful, head hunted high flyer to constantly running behind sahm was extremely demoralising. It took a long time to get the hang of it.

Letting go of guilt was a big one for me.
Learning how to run a home was another because I was clueless.

The other big one was understanding that a good mother does 3 things - feeds, clothes and nurtured her child. If you can tick those boxes you are doing great.
Everyone also brings some kind of gift to parenting. Maybe you’re very sociable, keep a beautiful home, create imaginary games, throw great parties, make fabulous costumes, do cool story voices, are someone that your dc can confide in, have good discipline, maintain good routines, are fun and spontaneous ..... But we tend to judge ourselves harshly against other people’s talents. Try and figure out what your parenting strengths are and use them, and let yourself not be great at other things and be okay at that.

Get into a routine. Build things you enjoy doing into your day/week.

I foster. I have 5 kids in total - 4 at school for most of the day and one 18 month old at home with me.

In the mornings I put on a load of washing and do a very quick tidy of breakfast things and then try to go for a big walk with the dog. The baby naps and I get out of the house. The exercise and the fresh air really helps to put me in a good mood and I feel like I've done something for me/had some me time. I aim for 15000 steps a day which I generally hit with walking plus running around after the kids. Before I started this I felt like I was going insane stuck inside.

I imagine it'll be hard to meet new people these days. I have noticed the same people day after day on my walk around the forest though, maybe if you did something similar you could get chatting to them?

Are any of your local baby groups meeting up in parks or anything? Or even virtually? Any outdoor fitness classes?

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry about what people think. Some people will judge you whether you work F/T, P/T or you're a SAHM just ignore them.

If you want to do something that challenges you mentally why not look at distance learning? Or volunteering at something over the phone? I think they need people to chat to others who are struggling during covid.

What are you interested in? What are you passionate about?

I'd suggest routine and getting out each day. I've got a 2 year old and we always go for a morning walk / activity. Breaks up the day. And I always make time for myself every evening, which helps too. Sorry to hear you're finding things hard, it's tough without groups etc isn't it. I can't wait for toddler groups to return!

I love being a sahm. It's taken me a while to say that and feel this way.
I gave up a well paid career in the City to do this (couldn't go part time so left by choice). At first I found it hard to accept and get used to it, but I recently turned a corner of fully embracing it and seeing the positives about my situation. Obviously there are days when it feels relentless and can be exhausting (but so did work sometimes too) but I really cherish the time I get to spend with my son.
As for being rarely respected... I don't feel that way and certainly no-one around me makes me feel like that. Don't overthink it and get hung up on what others may or may not think (or read too many mumsnet forums as it can be a bit anti-sahm on here!)

Lovely messages, thank you.

And yes @helloRose it seems very negative on here! I keep reading how my husband is going to resent me, no one will respect me and more. I know that's not true but it really doesn't help!

I sometimes feel like I'm just unemployed but constantly stressed, tired with pockets of fun but no time to watch TV. 😂