Anyone else??

[Eloise97]

Hi, I'm new to the whole stay at home mum. Did anyone else struggle with not having their own money to spend??

Don't get me wrong my husband has always said it's our money and I was the same when I was earning but I feel as if I have to ask now

Anyone else??

Yes. I got married at 40 gave up work at 43 when I had my second. My husband earned a high salary and we had a joint account and he paid off my credit card every month. He never asked me what I spent money on. He always consulted me about big purchases like a TV.
But. I never quite got used to not having my own earned money. I know my being a stay at home parent was extremely important and valuable, but I just didn't feel right buying myself certain things, and I didn't buy anything I wouldn't have normally when I was earning (I mean if I could afford to spend £50 on shoes before I wouldn't now spend £100 just because I could). It also felt weird buying him birthday and Christmas presents because he was in effect paying for them himself. It felt fine buying things for our kids though. He passed away seven years in to our marriage but I never got used to it.
Now, ten years after he passed, I have taken special care of his life insurance money to support our children. I do still ask myself when faced with a big financial decision what he would do and that helps.

I struggled with the idea of it more than the reality. My husband doesn't question my spending and encourages me to treat myself (which I don't do that often as my toddler takes up all of my time!). So actually it has been fine so far. His birthday & Christmas might be strange as I haven't come to that yet and perhaps I'll use some of my savings so it doesn't feel like he is buying his own gift.