11 week old has to be consoled to sleep everyday- advice greatly appreciated!

[EmmaLH87]

Hi all! I am new to Mumsnet and hoping for some help. My 11 week old is getting much better with sleep in the night. We put him down at 9ish after a feed and he puts himself to sleep for about 4-5 hours, then wakes for a feed and goes back down for around 2 hours. This is a massive improvement for him. In the daytime, he's falling into a morning nap (1-1/2 hours), a solid midday nap (2 1/2- 3 hours) and then an early eve nap (2 hours). However, on the daytime naps he gets tired but can't fall asleep without this crying episode where I have to console him to sleep (hold him close, rock and hold dummy in). He fights for 5 minutes or so and eventually gives in and goes to sleep. How do I even start getting him down for daytime naps when this is his current routine?? I should also note that once he's asleep on me it's nearly impossible to get him down into the cot etc. I love him sleeping on me but wondering how to tackle the fighting sleep element. Any advice would be brilliant!!

Have u got other children at home aswell ? I have an 11 week old and haven’t even taken note of a routine yet it’s quite early to be thinking about that I have a toddler at home full time so I’m mainly juggleing The two of them and just cuddling him we were at play group and I was running with my toddler and he was just asleep napping in my arm , with my first I spent the first year having cuddles and not worriet about routine then one night she was been woken up more by us so we tryed her in her own cot and now she sleeps 12 hours on her own and has a 3 hour nap in the day.i guess what I’m saying is every child is different but in that first few months even a year routine and sleep are just settling in and you could try ur hardest to set something up and next month it changes or stops working try not to over think it if ur getting him down on his own for a bit at night so u can have time that’s amazing and sounds like ur doing g8 .just enjoy cuddles and naps where u can watch them sleep and smell their hair and get Netflix on witch some snacks this time goes so fast and is so special

He is 11 weeks old. I think rocking him to sleep will continue for a good while yet! Enjoy it while it lasts!

Personally, this is a young baby who is needing what babies need - their mothers. You're trying imo to have baby behave like a much older child.

Wow.
11 weeks. Consoling a newborn is the best thing in the world. What's the problem?
If he's tired he'll sleep.
There's no need for routines at all but 11 weeks, no way. Just let him be a baby.

I get it OP. There's nothing "lovely" about wrestling a baby who is thrashing around trying to fight sleep, pulling your hair and screaming. My DS is 4 months and still doing the same thing. It's exhausting. Unfortunately I have no advice, think we just need to get through this stage. I just wanted to say that I get what you're saying!

Any chance baby is getting a little bit overtired which causes them to fight the nap even though they need it? Try putting down for a nap 10 mins earlier than you usually do

Thanks for relating @Purplequalitystreet :) I just want him to be happier and more content before naps!

It honestly sounds like you’re doing brilliantly especially with nighttime and such a young baby.

As others have said, it is really normal. Do you have a stretchy wrap type sling? They can be great for naps and then you can potter about while they sleep.

It sounds like he sleeps really well for such a young baby! It is normal to have to rock/cuddle/tap dummy etc to get them to sleep. Don’t stress over routine, they change so often at that age what they do this week will be different in a couple of weeks time.

Thanks @Verbena87 he's not a fan of the sling but I may try again. I have learnt his tired cues but just tends to grapple to sleep every time. I'm sure we will get there. Thanks for being nice

Thanks @Thesearmsofmine I hadn't realised so many people had babies who fight sleep! I just want him to get good contented rest! I think just hearing it's normal helps. I've struggled with mental health so am so pleased there are nice people on here. I'll ignore the judgmental comments!

He sounds perfectly normal. You seem to be expecting a lot of a very small baby.

A lot of babies will fight sleep. It's normal. As they start to grow they are starting to notice and absorb so much more around them and it becomes so much harder to just drift off to sleep....the world is too exciting! There's nothing wrong with needing to rock/sway/feed them to sleep.

My 14 week old goes for naps like an angel but will not sleep at night - I'd rather have your problem to be honest...

Seriously though, my first child was exactly like yours. It was quite stressful when he was doing the screaming and I hated getting him to sleep when I was out and about because of it. But he just gradually grew out of it by 4-5 months. Just hang in there, I think it's normal.

FWIW my 14 week old naps like an angel because I put her in a sling so she gets to stay with me. God knows how I'll stop this little habit though, I never did this with my other children! But it might be an option for you? I live it actually because she sleeps so well and I can get on with my day. If only I could use it at night!

Im a mum of 6 my youngest is 16wks she is breast fed so up alot but she goes to sleep no problems, ive found that if u put a baby in a cot as soon as u get them home after day 2/5 they settle well also i put my baby to nap in there & stay in the room this also helps.now she is bigger she likes to hold a blanket i have that ribbon small blanket type soother and this helps settling her. Does your baby have a dummy? All mine have & does soothes them.