Okay, I am relatively fortunate - finances are in order 3 dc and dh who is helpful (although I take most of the mental load - admin and organisation etc involved with dc). I realise that I don't really have major grounds to moan in comparison to some but I am feeling a bit bogged down with it all and I think Christmas being on the horizon is only adding to feelings of stress.
Basically, I struggled to have children and consequently ended up having them later in life (I am mid forties) with a toddler, plus 2 older dc of school age. I am watching my peers (people around my own age) doing their own thing now because their dcs are older - they can leave them/less childcare involved and I suppose it is getting to me a bit, that I have gone right back to toddlerhood again (I love my little dc and wouldn't be without them now and I keep reminding myself how lucky I am to have them) but I suppose if I'm honest I wished they'd come along a lot sooner (needless to say our family is complete!) I think I am quite hard on myself and have high expectations which doesn't help. Running around after toddler, helping with school work, dealing with emotional drama of older dc on top of the day to day chores etc. I end up feeling drained and craving alone time just like my peers seem to be getting at the other end of things (though I know they would have gone through difficult times too when their dc were younger, just the other way around to me). I have a hobby which I struggle to do but manage to gauge out a bit of time when toddler naps (no extended family/no additional childcare support) and my toddler quite often naps through morning activities so sometimes I don't manage to get out to organised groups etc. for adult company. Then I feel guilty because I feel I don't enjoy the dcs as much as I should (because I am craving alone time, probably drained by toddler). I have a few friends but they work/don't live on the doorstep, so I only see them from time to time. Just feeling a bit out on a limb and a bit out of sync. at the moment, though there is the old adage that this too shall pass. Can anyone else relate?