Am I viewing it through rose tinted glasses?

[EmrysAtticus]

So my aim has always been to be a SAHM when possible and DH has known this from long before we were married and is supportive. We aren't yet in a financial position to do this so I am working in a school term time only which is great but term time is manic. DS is almost 4 and due to start school in September. Our local schools aren't great so we may have a bit of a school run to do.

My parents are workaholics and have put that in front of everything my whole life so I am very much the other way and am determined that I will be able to pick DS up from school every day when it finishes.

I feel that being a SAHM once we can afford it (hopefully by Year 1) would really benefit the family. We would have no child care costs, the house would be clean and tidy, we would eat healthy made from scratch meals every day. I could volunteer with the PTA, Scouts etc and really be involved in stuff for DS. He could also do any after school activities he fancied.

However is that how it would actually be?

If you can afford it then great, go for it, but tbh I wouldn’t go giving up a term time only job, they’re like gold dust in most places. I am a SAHM and in many ways it is great but it can be very lonely and boring when the kids are at school/nursery. There’s only so much housework you can do plus my friends are generally in work during the day so not much chance of company during the week. My children are 4&5.

Sorry posted too soon! There are many positives, of course, but it definitely is not all roses either. I would love a term time job so I’ll be looking for one once my youngest is at school.

I'm in this situation now op, have been since September when my youngest started school. It's pretty much how you describe tbh, the house is tidy, our lives organised, weekends/evenings are relaxing. I'm starting work again after Christmas. We're altering things at home a but so we can still do drop off/pick up at school but I'll be working. Being a SAHP to school age dc feels very different to me to when I still had one at home. School days a short, but not that short, cleaning and baking doesn't fill them. Most friends work and those that don't mostly have younger dc so are still in the 'toddler group/music class/library sing along ' phase where I really don't fit in anymore.

My dream was to be a sahp- which I now am to my wonderful 20m old and 6m old.
However, I'm planning to return to work part time once they're in school/preschool.
I think I'd find it really boring and lonely remaining a sahp when the kids were away all day.

As someone who chose SAHM and is now 50, I would advise you to consider very carefully what happens afterwards. Employers really don't like candidates with no recent experience.

It's not all perfect. I'm a SAHM and DS does 20 hours in nursery. It means I can do all the house admin, cooking, cleaning etc much quicker and that our weekends are for having fun with minimal chores. There's less juggling in school holidays, if DS is ill or if nursery needs to close like for the upcoming elections.

However, it's more lonely than I anticipated, as I fall in the gap between the SAHP who have their children with them all the time, and WOHP who are generally full time or with their DC. I've also lost a lot of confidence and hate meeting new people who ask what I do.

You need your partner to be fully on board with it, or else it can be a disaster.