My feed

to access all these features

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.


Stay at home mum comments

14 replies

shareacco · 16/09/2019 15:51

I'm a stay at home mum and the amount of comments I get about returning to work annoys me.
So you're not working now?
But you've got a degree.
I'd be bored.
What do you do all day?
It's a waste of a brain.
When I answer back with looking after the kids etc. I get , I do that too and I work full time. You don't though because you can't be in work and look after the kids.

It's really getting me down and I feel worthless. Any websites with support for stay at home parents?
Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
FireCrotch69 · 16/09/2019 15:56

Tell them :

I’m contributing to my household by doing the childcare.
Childcareis expensive and this works for us.
I enjoy spending my time with my child/ten while they are young.
Childhood goes so fast I don’t want to miss it.
I can go back to work anytime, my babies need me RIGHT NOW.

Only boring people get bored Grin

It’s tough, but a lot of comments come from jealousy. Just go out and enjoy yourself and make the most of being able to be home. But also find some other stay at home parents so you can vent withoitnjudgement about the hard bits !

AJoeySpecial · 16/09/2019 15:59

If you go to work you’ll still get comments, they’ll just be different. You’ll still be the one in the wrong though! Do what is best for you, your child and your family and use some of @firecrotch69 responses. People are so rude!

Perch · 16/09/2019 16:02

I say I am the food and beverage manager for a small but growing company! I read it on here once and have used it a few times. Was challenged once when the man I said it to found out I was ‘just’ a sahm.

shareacco · 16/09/2019 16:03

Brilliant ! Thank you. People don't seem to understand it's work. I really don't get it.

OP posts:
Chottie · 16/09/2019 16:04

Just ignore all these comments. It's no-one else's business. What suits your family is up to you to decide.

I have been an at home mother, a part time working mother and a full time working mother and have had comments from others on all three!

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 16/09/2019 16:06

Just tell them to fuck off.

It’s nobody’s business.

CornishMaid1 · 16/09/2019 17:10

Unfortunately when it comes to motherhood people always feel the need to comment and nothing you do is right - someone will always try to make you feel bad about your choices as a mother, but never the father.

You just have to own it and tell them to shut up - you are doing what is right for your family and your choices are your own.

SilverCrushedVelvetX · 16/09/2019 17:17

I see a thread on here earlier and someone said they really wanted to start a family and have kids but her husband wasnt ready. She was on a minium wage job but her partner was on a high paid job. Someone then replied to the thread saying "well what are you going to do to get more income for yourself then?" it slightly annoyed me actually because if her partner has a well payed job and support her then what is the problem? I don't see no problem with women wanting to stay at home and look after the kids/house if that's what they what to do. If it works for them then it can work for anyone in the same situation. Some people on here are really snobby and I'm a new member so it's really taken me back!

JetPlanesMeeting · 16/09/2019 17:21

So you're not working now?
But you've got a degree.
When I studied for that I didn't realise that I signed something that said I had to be in the workforce for 40 hours a week for 40+ years, where is that contract? Did you sign one?
I'd be bored
really, I have my children to interact with, the internet, podcasts, radio, tv, YouTube, books, museums, parks, play gyms, other people to talk to who are also SAHMs/part timers/nannies etc.
What do you do all day? do you ask that of the nursery/childminder that your child goes to?
It's a waste of a brain
With that kind of attitude it is no wonder why there are so many mental health issues with people feeling stressed and overwhelmed by work. What happened to women supporting one another?

I have been a SAHM for 15 years. I worked part time after Ds1 was born and got comments about that too. You can't win.

My main response is "why is this any of your business?" or "why does what I do bother you?"

Soolla · 16/09/2019 17:25

You need four words:
"It works for us".
Or "it suits us" if you're in a rush 😂
That's it, no explaining. Leave long silences if need be and don't fill them with justifications.
Someone once said to me that people only care about others' choices when they aren't happy with their own. I tend to think that's true. Perhaps some people make these comments due to jealousy or other negative emotions - well in my experience it's not genuine interest or caring for your welfare, so "it suits us" is all they get.

kenandbarbie · 16/09/2019 17:25

I'm a sahm and literally no one has ever said anything rude to me about it. You have horrible friends.

InDubiousBattle · 16/09/2019 17:28

I've always just said 'it suits us', to all of above.

ememem84 · 16/09/2019 17:42

I’ve had the opposite. I went back to work after having ds. So much judgement from others for working full time.

I couldn’t be a stay home parent. I needed to go back to work for my own mental health.

Nothing against sahp. Just not for me.

shareacco · 16/09/2019 20:31

I feel like starting stay at home parent pride!

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.