Positives of being a sahm

[Bluewavescrashing]

Recently I've become a sahm due to poor health. I have a chronic illness which causes exhausting fatigue, pain and nasty neurological symptoms. I was previously a part time primary teacher. Really missing my professional life at the moment so trying to think of the positives of this situation. This is not a dig at working mums.

1. My DCs prefer being collected by me than going to the childminder. They found it OK going to her house but it was quite busy there. I can help them with homework etc.
2. I can alternate resting with getting things done eg I've just put a chicken in the oven to roast. Evenings are really tiring for me with my condition.
3. DH can get on with work, sport in the evenings etc without having to pick the children up so life is easier for him.

Sorry you're poorly. How are you managing with it?
It must be hard to have had to give up your career because of your health.

Sorry you’re in this position OP. Are you into art or something? Could you not do a hobby or start a project at home that you can take time on?

The pros-

• daytime tv. Absolutely love it!
• not having to worry about the kids’ school snow days or sickness because you’re there at home
• a cleaner house
• healthier choices for your kids in terms of meals because you’ve got more time to make food from scratch
• no marking students’ work!
• more ‘me time’

Thanks for replying. I'm managing the fatigue OK, I know my limits now eg I can walk 10 mins but no more. I spread activities like doing the washing through the day and rest in between. If I do too much eg make a sandwich, empty the dishwasher and clean the kitchen without sitting down in between I get very achey and dizzy. So everything is slowed right down.

Trying to meet up with friends regularly as it's quite lonely compared to being in a busy school.

Cognitively I'm impaired in terms of concentration, short term memory etc. I try to play word games online to keep active but also limit my phone use. DD loves crafts so we do some after school together some days.

Craft hobby could be fab. 🙂

• picking up your kids means you can talk to them as soon as they get out off school and can get anything off their chest without having to wait to see you
• being there when they're ill, mummy cuddles are much better than childminder cuddles
• not rushing all the time
• they can do whatever clubs they want, as you'll be around to take and support them
• you don't need to miss sports days, concerts, assemblies because you're around for them
• the delight of going back to bed for an hour when they're at school
• you can get done all those things you've never had time to do
• seeing other sahm for coffee during the day
• housework at your own pace
• cooking what you want, not what you have time for
• sitting in the garden with a cup of tea with nobody to disturb you

I could go on and on. I was very sad to go on maternity leave with my first, but by the end of the 9 months, I had decided to quit my job and live off my husband's wage. It would be nice to have a bit extra money with me working, but the quality of life for the whole family is better this way. The children have me whenever they need me, my husband doesn't have to do 50% of the chores when he comes home because I've done most of them and he doesn't need to remember anything about school/ clubs cos I've got it covered. But best of all I get a lovely life of being with my kids, doing everything at my own pace in my own way and being available to do hobbies and see friends as and when I please. Also, I see my friends getting stressed with the cost and inconvenience of childcare, especially when it's last minute, but I don't have that. I have a very nice life.

I'm not meaning to boast, I'm just detailing the positives, as you asked

I did put paragraphs in! It obviously doesn't work when using the app :s

Being there for them when they're sick.
I've found myself this week trying to juggle a hectic work schedule/ meetings etc and be at home to mind my little one in between- very stressful

Thank you, a lot of what you've written applies to me too.

Agree it's being there when they are sick. My LO is just not herself today and I'm so thankful I can just cuddle her on the sofa and not feel guilty about work

I can't manage much TV as my concentration and ability to process sound and images is quite limited but 30 mins or so is OK. I tend to watch an episode of something every day. I normally fall asleep after DD goes to bed at 8. 30pm so anything scary or inappropriate can be watched during the day.

@strawbmilk I hope your DD gets better. It's definitely a big plus not having to dose up and hope for the best, worrying about them all day or take turns with DH to take time off. We don't have any family nearby.

DH has to work away for a few days most months, sometimes abroad. That was hard to manage when I worked 3 days a week with me doing all the childminder pick ups and drop offs plus meetings etc.

Yes positives,

Being able to do the pick up from school.

Having duvet days with them when they are sick, without worrying about taking leave and picking everything up on your return.

No paying for childminders and getting lots more quality time with your kids.

They know you are there if they need you in the day without them feeling guilty of dragging you from work.

Obviously minus the illness, see it as a positive for your kids xx

Thought of another one- I can go to appointments on my own and buy birthday presents without the DCs hanging off me asking for stuff! If I order online shopping I'm in to receive parcels.

I love, when it's cold and wet and miserable, getting a hot bath run for them, a hot choccy with marshmallows ready, and some hot buttered toast for them when they get in.
The house is pretty much always clean, tidy, and calm.
I'm there for them to talk too. I don't get told their day was 'okay', I get chapter and verse, including all the ti!
They can do extra curriculars that they otherwise couldn't.
If I want to have a day off, or need a day to be sick and miserable and homesick, I can take it. And nobody will tut-tut, or judge me.
If I have a bad night I can get up later.
I can go to the gym during off peak hours, when all the equipment is free.
I can cook from scratch every day.
The sound of silence is music to my ears!