Answer this please

[3babyxx]

So my two sons dad lives an hours drive away are eldest is just over two and youngest is 6 months . He rarely ever takes are eldest to his maybe once every few months
This time Iv asked if he'd take the youngest aswell for 3 days . Just so I get a break and some me time I'm exhausted having 3 children on my own .
But he won't take him he just says that he won't be able to do nothing with my eldest son .
Am I being unfair to ask him for 3 days ? He sees them once a week at my house even then I still end up looking after them because I'm here .

He needs to have them away from you, if you are comfortable with that. Contact at your house isn’t a long term solution and there’s no need for you to be there unless you feel you really need to be (much better for you to have some alone time) x

Of course yanbu to want some support. I assume you are separated. I think you might need to build up to a 3 day stay and unfortunately I don't think you can make some one take responsibility. So if he doesn't want the baby over night I don't think you can make him. Do you have other support - parents / friends.

Thank you for replying
No I wouldt mind him having them at his
But he won't even have the youngest . He said up until today he was taking them both so Iv made a few plans with my mum and my friends to do stuff (which I never do) and now he's let me down with the youngest he said he'll take one or the other . I know he loves he's sons but if I went to court what would happen? He's around me way to much . I literally don't get 5 minutes away from the kids . Xx

@RicStar I don't leave my children with any one apart from him or my mum and my mum works and stuff so no not really .. I think with him it's more of a power thing .. he just tried to make an arguement saying "your trying to give your kids up so you can see guys" that ain't the truth but even if it was we ain't together? X

He is saying he can’t do anything if he has the two children? Have you asked him how he thinks you manage both?

@Jackshouse yes Iv said to him I have 3 children that have to come every where with me no matter what because I don't get to pick and choose . He then turns round saying he wouldt cope . There's been days Iv been in tears because of stress and he never seemed to care

Fucking dick that he is. Well he would have to cope just like you have to cope. I hate these parents who think parenting is optional for them.

Unfortunately you can't make him have them. If it went to court he'd only ever get granted as much access as he wanted, but all that means is you have to make the kids available for those court ordered days/times, NOT that he HAS to have them!

I think it's shit. So many parents (usually men) walk away and don't bother with their children. It's not something I can understand to be honest.

If I were you I would stop allowing the contact to be at your house. If he isn't taking them out somewhere then he doesn't see them. I'm assuming you've done this for a while now so the baby must be used to him, there's then no need for you to be around supervising.

Can’t he even take one of them to the local park or soft play for an hour? I agree with stopping contact at your house.

Tbh the contact at my house ain't an issue now and agen I like that the kids can see us getting along we do stuff as a family too

I just wanted a couple of days in my house to myself .. wishful thinking 😂 I guess

Thanks for replying x