I desperately want to be a SAHM

[Aspenn17]

Hi, I really want to be a SAHM and not go back to work. I’ve loved my maternity leave and being with my daughter everyday and the thought of having to leave her and go back to my job makes me feel so incredibly depressed. DH has a fairly good job so luckily money wise I only need to go back part time, but even this makes me cry whenever I think about it, he doesn’t earn enough for me to be a SAHM full time. I would be leaving her with my MIL so I know she will be looked after and cared for.

We have enough savings to stay off another 6 months but DH says we can’t use those, that money is the only savings we have and we need to keep it for a rainy day or if something was to go wrong with the house, that I’ve had a nice year but now it’s tome for me to go back. Most of my friends seem to have been glad to go back to work to get some ‘adult time’ back, but I just don’t feel the same.

Any tips/ideas/advice???

embrace your reality. at this point you need to return to work. put on a brave face and take baby steps forward.

Think of it as giving your child a really good life, you may enjoy if when you go back

I know the feeling. I’ve been back at work (part time) for almost a year now and I still find it hard leaving my little one.

Being a SAHP has to be a joint decision with both parents actively wanting it and seeing the benefits, I think without that resentment would soon build. Also, maternity leave isn't quite the same as being a SAHP, most of the people you meet during a mat leave go back to work and toddlers are different to babies. I've been very lucky to be a SAHM for 5 years now and have loved it, but if at any time my partner showed anything less than complete support and enthusiasm for it I would have gone back to work.
Your baby will be absolutely fine and you might find that you enjoy returning to work more than you think.

I went back to work when my daughter was 10 months old & I felt exactly like this, I only had to go back 18 hours but still I was heartbroken having to leave her but I had no choice as my partner didn't earn enough to support us. My daughter is 4 now & at school & we have had a son since who is 9 months, my maternity leave finished 2 months ago & this time I'm not going back. This is because I would have to put my daughter in before and after school club 3 days a week & also nursery for my son & by the time I'd paid for them I'd be loosing money so it just doesn't make sense. So we have made the decision for me to stay at home & be a housewife. Luckily my dad has his own business & has given me some work to do from home so I am going to be earning still just not as much. Maybe you could look for work from home?

My point I was going to make initially though was even though I was heartbroken leaving my daughter I found I actually enjoyed it, it was the only time we spent apart and when we was reunited after work it was so lovely seeing her face light up! It made the time we had so special, I thought I was lucky that I didn't have to go back full time.

Hope your ok & it works out x