Taking the plunge and finances

[KLHL777]

Hi!

I currently work P/T, but I would really like to come out of work to be with the kids more (we couldn't afford this right after maternity leave, but now DH has a few pay rises under his belt and we think we can just about manage it!) and I have a few questions...

How do you arrange your money? If i came out of work i wouldn't get anything other than CHB. Does your husband transfer you a set amount each month? Do you work off a joint account?

What do you miss most about working? What do you enjoy the most about not working? Any hints or tips?

Thanks

Everything in one joint account. Big purchases are discussed first. We have budgets for holidays, home improvements etc, then a set amount to spend each week.

DH has responsibility for paying bills and managing the kids' savings but I have access to all of it so there's complete transparency.

That said, we don't have any expensive hobbies and spend very little on ourselves so there's never been an equality issue.

As for not working, I don't miss the commute, the office politics and the stress. I do miss the part of me that isn't a mum but I've gone back to volunteering to get that back. My advice would be to try to carve out something that doesn't involve the DC. A sport, hobby etc. It doesn't have to cost much or take up a lot of time, just something.

We have 4 accounts. (Plus DHs business one - he's self employed).

Joint current account
Joint savings account
My account
DH account

DH gets paid into his current account, puts some in joint savings, puts slightly more than we need into joint current account (to cover unexpected expenses/birthdays etc). All things for house and dcs bought out of joint account.

From what's left, he transfers half over to me. He keeps the same for himself. We have very different spending habits, I'm "little and often" treats, he's the sort of person who goes 6 months without buying anything then decides he needs a £200 pair of shoes and a £500 suit, this way we both don't get stressed at the others spending as we know over the year we've got the same.

We agreed that I'd be a SAHP; we both wanted that for our family. I've done bits and pieces of freelance and homebased work since DC arrived, but it represents a tiny fraction of our income so basically DH is the breadwinner.

Everything goes into our joint accounts - neither of us have separate money other than ISAs which are only technically separate (in reality we share all money).

The way we see it is that our family is a team venture. Part of DH's role is earning money to support us all; part of mine is taking on more of the childcare and being a SAHP. We try to negotiate equal time off / sharing of parental and domestic drudgery at weekends.

We've agreed a budget and we keep it under review; there are sections for weekly shop, fun money, travel etc.

I'm always amazed by the number of families here (and elsewhere online) that run a system where the working partner retains greater control of his / her money and the SAHP relies on an allowance. Or when the woman (it's almost always the woman, right?) is expected to meet all childcare costs out of her salary, usually lower due to p/the hours etc. It seems so disempowering and unfair.