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SAHP

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

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Original poster

No mammy friends :(

12 replies

Glittermom1 · 04/04/2018 17:15

How does a 22 year old sahm mom too two DD's under 2 make friends in a new area? I've literally tried everything from bringing my kids to play parks, swim classes, and baby events and sparking up conversation with anymom that will listen but to no avail. I need to make friends I'm cracking up having no one to have adult conversations with and any girls I have met my age here don't have kids and I just can't find common ground as their lives are massively different to mine.

OP posts:

InDubiousBattle · 04/04/2018 20:42

Have you tried something in the evening? A class or club for you? Do you need friends to be parents specifically? I found that baby groups took a real effort on the mums part to make friends- it's really easy just to say bye at the end. DidYou ask anyone for a coffee that you met? In my experience it took me ages to make friends at toddler groups but did eventually just by chosing my favourites and going regularly.

yummyeclair · 04/04/2018 21:05

Hi ditto but was 42 at the time. In hindsight I would say go buggy jogging even if you do it on your own and people will start talking to you on your regular route and include a park - as dog walkers are the friendliest people. I joined my local NWR group National Women's Institute who were older but a friendly bunch.

Original poster

Glittermom1 · 04/04/2018 22:00

Not that I need parent friends specifically but I just think with my age all of my old friends have massively different lives and it's quite hard for me to find common ground now. I'd also love to go do something for myself but I just don't have enough help to get out on my own regularly, so I'd love to meet people in the same boat but everytime i try talk with other mom's I feel as though I am the outsider trying to get into a very exclusive club

OP posts:

SarahUZ · 15/04/2018 11:23

Have you tried an app called Mush, it has local mums all finding friends and some places that are good for children. I'm 22 as well, also struggling to make friends.

FlyingBunny · 16/04/2018 21:53

I'm 21 and in the same situation. Been to baby groups and there are people I talk to but it's very much just small talk. Finding the same thing that I have very little common ground with parents and I don't have a car to go further afield. When you have babies and your friends don't everything changes, definitely feeling like I need mum friends.

Original poster

Glittermom1 · 16/04/2018 22:11

SarahUz no I haven't tried anything like that yet. I'm based in Ireland though not sure if there are anything like that for my area.
FlyingBunny That's exactly the way things are going for me all my old friends don't get how I cant just go do things at the drop of a hat feel like a need a group that understands and doesn't mind listening to me winge about baby stuff every now and then too

OP posts:

Sillybilly1234 · 16/04/2018 22:26

There is local Facebook group called New Mums of **.insert name of your town to see if they have a group like this.

A lady recently wrote on that basically what you have said and loads of people replied and offered to go for coffee with her.

I assume it all worked out for her. That may be worth a try.

NellMangel · 16/04/2018 22:50

I'd recommend Mush as well. I made a good friend from that after trying and failing at baby groups.

If you do go for Mush, be prepared to be the proactive person and actually suggest a meet-up. I had a few online conversations with people that just dropped off, my friend actually suggested meeting and I'm grateful she did!

Original poster

Glittermom1 · 17/04/2018 22:17

Thanks everyone for the advice. I set up a mush account already chatting with a few other mums in the area 😊

OP posts:

NellMangel · 17/04/2018 22:35

Great hope you meet some good uns x

Original poster

Glittermom1 · 17/04/2018 23:11

Thanks for your advice NellMAngel.

OP posts:

KLHL777 · 10/06/2018 11:03

Hi glittermom1 . I know it's been a while since the last post, so hopefully you're getting on great with making new friends!

I was in your position years ago, a parent at 19 while all my friends were at uni/travelling etc, and I found it very isolating. Well done on getting out and about and trying to make new friends! It's great for your mental health.

I now have two more kids aged nearly 2 and 3.
I volunteer at a church-run mums and tots group one morning a week. It's in my old church and there are quite a few young mums there. Sometimes to really get to know people you have to go that extra mile. Maybe when they all start back in September pick your favourite one and ask if they need a hand setting the toys out and packing away. It's only an extra hour of your week, and it's really helped me get to know people 1 on 1. They're a lovely bunch, with kids similar ages to mine.

I'm also on the rota for the creche at my current church, and they run a coffee and chat group once a month for parents of preschool aged kids. I've made a couple of good friends from this just by being quite forward. Talking to the same person for a few weeks and then commenting on how well our kids get on and asking if she fancied coming over for a play date.

I hope I'm not pushing the church thing too much, but once you find an group you like I'd say take the extra step to really get to know people. Kids are a great icebreaker and you can always fall back on "are you getting any sleep? I'm so tired!" Lol.

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