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A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.


Feel so lonely and guilty

8 replies

han1001 · 15/10/2017 21:03


I have been a stay at home mum for 2 years and love my little girl to pieces but I miss working and earning my own money and adult interaction. But don't go back to work cause I feel so guilty leaving my daughter. I have worked for 10 years during my studies also so it feels strange for me to not work and I feel low and lonely. My mum spent my whole life as a stay at home mum and she would judge me if I went back full time also.
What do I do and does anyone else feel the same ? I have friends but they all work or having busy lives.

OP posts:
delilahbucket · 15/10/2017 21:09

I was like you, although I only lasted until my ds was 14 months old. I returned to full time work four months later (I had to get a new job as I hadn't returned to my old one). It was horrible leaving ds but I needed to do something for the sake of my own sanity. It hasn't done him any harm though. To begin with he was at home with my ex who refused to work but when we split up shortly afterwards, he went to a childminder and he really thrived.

Pascall · 15/10/2017 21:11

Get a job! This is your life, not your mum's. Your little girl will only benefit from you being happier.

QuiteLikely5 · 15/10/2017 21:17

You should start looking for a job. Childcare options are brilliant these days and generally children love going to nursery for a bit of variety.

You get help with childcare costs too depending on your income

If you live your life for your mother you will never be happy

If nothing changes nothing changes

han1001 · 15/10/2017 21:39

Thank you for your responses. I guess I just feel bad for wanting to go to work full time. Also my mum has always said she wanted to be a good mum so she gave up work to bring me up.... anyone working full time and it's the best thing they did l when they have a young child ?

OP posts:
delilahbucket · 15/10/2017 22:34

There is absolutely no proof that being a stay at home mum is best for your child/ren. Your happiness is paramount and if you are miserable then you cannot be the best parent. I find I am a better parent because I focus more on quality time with my child now. He got to play with his friends all day while I worked so he was happy and now he is nine and knows no different. There is a mixture in his school of working and none working parents. Primarily, the kids that are doing the best have working parents. Ignore your mum, you are not her.

Partyof7 · 03/11/2017 14:40

I feel for you. Sometimes (especially during school holidays) I really dislike being at home. I honestly go days without speaking to another adult, apart from my hubby when he's home at night. Its very lonely.

roboticmom · 09/11/2017 15:00

Work two days a week? They are only little for such a short time in the scheme of things.

PasstheStarmix · 08/12/2017 09:51

I realise this is an old post but I'm currently on maternity leave and finding it a struggle at times and similarly to OP always worked full time for years. It's hitting me at Christmas when dh has all his work events and parties to go to and I have nothing. I reckon If I was at work though I'd want to be home and the same things that used to annoy me would so you really can't win!

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