Money?

[BibbidiBobbidi]

Hi all.

I've just handed my notice in at work so that I can become a SAHP (yay!) my OH will be working and earns enough to support us both.
We don't share an account and I was wondering how the rest of you manage your finances in a situation like this?
Do you have a joint account or does your partner give you cash/an allowance?

Thanks!

I wish I had started my pension in my 20s it may not have crossed your mind but god it's worth thinking about.
Read this book, it's not boring or preachy and it will open your eyes. And please get married if you are going to be a sahp. A healthy pregnancy is great but don't risk your children's futures for the sake of time off now. Work may say they have left the job open but in a year or so they will have forgotten and/or replaced you unless you have a very highly valued very niche skill set.
www.amazon.co.uk/Love-Not-Enough-Smart-Womans/dp/0007235194?tag=mumsnetforum-21

My partner gets his wage paid into my account because I sort all the bills then whatever's left over is just 'our' money. I'm a bit more money savvy than my partner so he'll just ask me to get him stuff or get cash out if he needs anything! Works well for us x

SAHM here too. Married. Joint account. Written into Will and pension provision. Husband also makes use of my ISA allowance.

You've quit your job without having any real discussion about finances, you're not married, and you're making yourself financially reliant on someone who is against having a joint account.

So you'll basically be getting pocket money from him as and when he allows it.

Sounds like a great plan to me

Becoming a SAHM & becoming financially reliant raised some major issues in my marriage. I have fought against the financial abuse not only because it's not fair but also to save our marriage. We are on rocky ground ATM mainly because of my DHs attitude to money.

Agree with what PPs have said, you need a joint account so that you both have access to money. His attitude may need to be adjusted so that 'his' money is now 'family' money.

I'm a SAHM and the way we arrange it is dp's salary and child benefit gets paid into joint account all bills and spending comes out of this account. We transfer a small sum into my (crappy)pension. We both have equal access to money and don't quibble over spending but will discuss bigger purchases-which tbh we did pre dc. I am far more likely to know how much money we have in the bank than dp!

We're planning on getting married eventually -probably early next year in a registry office. No particular rush though, we're both named on each others life insurance and don't own a house.

We've been together 20 years, since we were teenagers and are very happy together. Dp is 100% happy with being the sole earner and I have a plan to return to some work when youngest dc starts school.

Have you not had your baby yet?

Dubious

That's what I think we're going to do. We've had a chat and he's agreed to a joint account.
We've got one DD (1.5years) and desperately want another.
I'm planning on staying off until the youngest will be at nursery. I've only been back at work for a couple of months and I HATE it.
It's getting me really down.

We're also in no rush to get married. I'm named on his life insurance. I don't have any as nobody will insure me because of my ill health

This thread has got me thinking. I became a SAHM 5 years ago after
leaving a well paid job with a final salary pension.

Joint accounts all the way - in fact I probably have more control over spending than DH.

However I have not bothered doing anything with my pension and it's just sat there waiting for my retirement. Should I be looking to do something with it?

Sorry to hijack!

Please carry on!
I'm in the same boat as you. Never considered my pension!

If it's a final salary pension leave it be. But start yourself a sipp if you think you'll need more than the projected income from your fs pension for retirement.

Thanks Puffpaw.... will look into it

We don't have a joint account but DH pays regularly into my account to ensure it's topped up above a minimum level. He pays all the bills including mortgage. I don't have to ask him to transfer money as he can check when it gets low and we don't micromanage our spending (don't really discuss purchases unless it's something for the house). I also have use of a credit card on his account and he pays it off in full by direct debit. We both pay into a private pension and ISAs.

OP his life insurance is the least of your problems. I'm sorry but I love and trust my DH to the end of the earth but I'd never risk my and my children's future like you seem to be doing without a second thought. The joint account is a good step forward but marriage would be a deal breaker for me. Do you not realise that he can leave you and the kids with literally nothing and no real way to make your own money on this current path. I hope you never have to suffer a split up but even married couples splitting can be financially devastating let alone a vulnerable mum of 2 with no right to he former partners money and a career that got stalled at a point that wouldn't earn enough to even cover childcare to enable you to choose back to work.

Just think about it. But I'd be refusing to expand our family as a SAHM without a trip to the courthouse at least.

Karate you are wrong. Even if they aren't married if they split he can't leave her with literally nothing, she would get half of the house and he would still be responsible for his children. Marriage does offer some benefits though op, my dp has a fantastic pension, which we pay into out of family money and I want to be entitled to some of it in the event of a split. Depending on the value of your home you might want to look at inheritance tax?

Indubious, I know what you're saying but thats often not how things work out. He may be responsible for the children but we all know how easy it is for men to get out of all bar the minimum.

It's very easy for men to walk out and leave us with nothing. I totally agree.
However, as naive as it sounds I don't think he would. That's what his dad did to his mum when he was a kid and then his stepdad did the same. I don't think he would do that to his kids.
I may be wrong but I can't see it happening. I prey I never find out.

So if you should split Indubious would you be entitled to half his pension?

Unfortunately same goes for divorced men Karate

Pack, no I wouldn't be entitled to half of it, I don't think I would be if we married but it would be taken into consideration in th event of divorce. My sister was with her partner for 25 years andthey had 3 dc together. For tax reasons he paid heavily into his pension, it was/is worth a lot of money. After they split the joint assets were divided (with much acrimony)but she wasn't/isn't even entitled to even know how much money is in the pension pot let alone get any of it.

Take it from someone who spent some time working in family law nobody thinks their partner is the type to leave them without cash in the event of a break up. 99.9% are wrong

naive as it sounds yes this is incredibly naive.
Please read this and then decide, it's about your rights and your DP's rights if you remain unmarried.
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/Documents/Advice%20factsheets/Family/f-living-together---your-rights-scotland-2.pdf
It is for Scotland but it's basically the same across the uk.

Better to have a plan than pray.

Also this may be useful
marywaring.mycarefeesadviser.co.uk/files/2013/02/7-key-financial-tips-for-women-getting-divorced_mw.pdf

Re pensions

If you are not earning your OH can put up to £2,880 into a private pension and the government will give you 20% tax relief (ie if you put in £2,880 they will make it up to £3,600).
Have a look at the moneysaving expert site and forums - a SIPP might not be best due to the fees.

Ps - joint account all the way. Plus all of our savings are in my name as I only work part time and so pay a lower rate tax.

Thank you Puffpaw