Did anyone give up a career to be a SAHP

[Obsessedalready]

I am pregnant with my first and in a professional career. I am the higher earner between me and DH. I always assumed I would go back to work but recently I have been seriously considering becoming a SAHP. I don't know what has come over me but I really feel strongly I want to be the primary caregiver for my child until they are at least 3 years old.

With some lifestyle changes we could afford it. DH is fully on board either way.

Any experiences?

The answer to this depends entirely on what your gut says.

In my case - becoming DS's mother reinforced my identity as an aspirational and successful academic so much - that having him has been the best thing ever for my career.

It began when he appeared as a line on a pee stick. 9 am that kind appeared. 1 PM I learnt my grant application was successful and I'd direct a 15 country project for the next 3 years.

We have no family around. We live in a tiny village with an awesome childminder - a childminder who we looked for since pregnancy. We flexible work our full time jobs both of us enabling a work life balance that's wonderful and he's growing into a lovely kid.

His childminder and her countless gestures from emergency babysitting to gazillions of activities to the most thoughtful personalised Christmas hamper for us to little bags of her cookies and cakes for us - and every little thing she does - makes us very grateful. It's a sleepy little village with just a corner shop - and he's growing up just as we both wanted :)

So the answer lies in your gut. My gut became tiger mum and even more ambitious academic at the same time.

I have a 7 month old DS so still early days for me but I am in a similar position that I don't have a job to return to. When I was pregnant I remember telling my DH it would be a good idea for me to go back to work after 2 months because I was worried I'd lose out on opportunities, I'm the higher earner and I thought I would miss my job.

I've done a complete 180 though and I don't have any intention of going back if we can figure out a way to afford it. We'll have to make some big sacrifices financially and won't be able to save anymore or think about buying a house any time in the near future but I want to raise my son myself. These last 7 months have been challenging but wonderful (and I feel like we're just coming to the fun part). I used to think I'd be bored being a SAHM but so far I can count on one hand the number of times I've been bored - I constantly feel like pinching myself that this is my life and that rather than being at work stressed and anxious about deadlines and projects I can watch my little boy laugh hysterically at the cat, meet some friends for baby swimming and potter about the house. I also quite enjoying being at home and looking after the house (although trying to get any cleaning done with a baby is pretty impossible).

Anyway I realise it's not for everyone but I love the idea of not going back. I'm reading quite a lot about child development which I find really interesting and which now has a practical application in my life as well as keeping my brain ticking over. I think if you're in a position to consider it then work towards that goal (save your extra pay etc), if you change your mind you can always look for a job that suits what you need (I'd probably look for a less stressful job just sink had more energy to focus on DS) towards the end of your mat leave.

I did. Although I had a well paid professional career I always intended to give it up while my DCs were small. That ended up being a period of 10 years and I loved being a SAHP. When my youngest was 5 I returned to the same career part time, then eventually full time. To my surprise I eventually ended up in a very senior position. It can be done!

I did, in my 30s after uni and ten more years of exams, six figure income. I did/didn't regret it at various times during the ten years I stayed at home but my job was all consuming and I didn't want to be away from home travelling with a child with medical issues at home.

I used those years to retrain and five years in got a new qualification related job one day a week from home. I have ramped it up this year and have gone back to WOTH, four days (long) a week, less than half my former salary.

I am very happy, great job, enough money because I no longer need to be near London.

Thank you everyone, I am finding reading about your experiences really helpful!

I did quite recently. As said above, for me too this was the best fit for our family. I still have my masters but now I can take time to focus on being a mum and enjoying the toddler phase. I can give DS a really secure sense of self and place. And I couldn't have put him into nursery at 1, for me it wouldn't have worked. DH is supportive. Honestly, I'm never bored!!

I am the same.My son is 3month old now and I strongly thinking about to be a SAHM. But I don't know anything about the financial side, my partner is working and I don't know if I would get any benefit(I never claimed any benefit so I have no clue about it).Is anyone can explain to me please what I would be entitled?Thank you!

I had 10 years professional experience in a sector that was well paid but I couldn't face leaving my little one, I initially wanted to go back 2 or 3 days a week but they wanted full-time or nothing - I'm actually so glad it worked out like that because I would have missed out on so much, if you can afford to stay home and your partner is on-board I would say go for it

Having limped on for 4 years after DC1 I am now about to give up my job as a City lawyer to look after my two DDs. I'm not entirely excited about it as am not a natural SAHM by any means but we think DD1 in particular (SN) needs a parent at home for the next few years.

I will regret it if (1) I can't get back to work in some capacity in a few years or (2) DH and I split up and I've torpedoed my earning power to support his career/the family. Hopefully neither of these will happen!

I gave up my hard earned academic career when I had my baby a year and a half ago. We then moved to a rural area far away from where we lived. I just have no hope now of getting back to work. I'm so lonley and alone all the time. I'm not outgoing and I feel awful in my head. My child is great but she can be so difficult at times. I thin she might be hyperactive. Tried and tried to get any kind of work to no avail. I've lost all my friends as they don't want to trek all the way across the country to visit. We've gone through all our savings with the house. There's no money to go anywhere or do anything. Our daughter won't stay with a babysitter so we haven't had a night out in 19 months. She doesn't sleep at night and I'm at my wits end. I havent told my husband as he's trying to hold together financially, Don't do it, stick with your job no matter what. Don't regret it like I am now.

Yes and though I have days when I could scream they would exist anyway as it comes with being a parent. I have no regrets about giving up work. My kids are 12&13 and I've no intention of going back. I am never bored, I always have loads of stuff to do. I do not feel the need to be earning loads with status attached to feel Fulfilled. We cut our cloth to suit and I'd probably have a fit trying to juggle everything and work too. DH was higher earner and it suits our family to have life as it is.