SAHM with no money

[Nutsaboutmykids]

Hi. Im at my witts end that I could cry/explode. My husband works full time and Im an out of work health care professional bringing up our 3 girls. I dont get a penny off him. If I ask for foundation etc he takes me out to buy it. If i ask for money, he wants to know what its for and how much the said item will cost. If we get a takeaway, he asks for the change when I come away from the door. It confuses me, i know he'll buy me what i need but i dont want him taking me out yo get it like he's my dad. Its went on for years. The tc and cb go into his account, my carers allowance for my gran goes into my pist office account but he has the card. Its actually depressing me now, the arguments over money is horrendous. I would leave him but I dont have a penny to my name and no where to stay. Ive got £1.20 in my purse in 20ps.
Xx

Agree with everything said above!!
How old are your children?
My mum left her 2nd husband, we went into an emergency womens aid shelter for 2/3 nights before going to a Womens Refuge until the council found us a house. My mum said the rent was dirt cheap so she could save for the new house. And they were really good about waiting for the first payments while she sorted out payments of her benefits going into her new account. we were there for 6 months, even though we were top of the council housing list because my mum was single with 2 children, so plenty of time to get a little nest egg.
Please get out, once the shock has died off that you`ve actually left you & your children will be so much happier. Just imagine you all decorating your new house together, how you want it, going out-anywhere!-& not worrying about going home!!

Imagine how good you feel the day you are finally free of him. Focus on that feeling and make it happen.

Do you have any family or friends you can talk to?

As he is your husband you are legally entitled to far more than he is telling you.

I have been a SAHM for over 10 years and I never have to answer for what I have spent money on, ever.

Maybe have this thread moved to the relationships board where you will get much more traffic and support. But everything said upthread is relevant.

Picture that future where you can take your children anywhere you want without having to ask him for money to do it.

I was you a few years ago and it saddens me to read your post.
I got out with nothing. I retrained and 5 years later I'm happier than I've ever been. It wasn't easy by a long stretch but do you want this for your girls?
That was my turning point. The realisation that my children were learning about relationships from me.
You've had some fabulous advice on this thread but only you can make the this change.

My friend is in the middle of a divorce for that very reason,as well as all the debts he has got them in to....he was reluctant to hand over any monies used it all as a means to control her....she had to ask for £5 to go out for a coffee....the online shopping he would check over and say no to all sorts of normal everyday things.....he refused to change...they are now nearly divorced.plus he was a twat

These people are very helpful and will tell you what benefits you'd be entitled to. They have a phone line with very kind people at the end of it.

www.opfs.org.uk

So pleased you posted, you're not wrong, this is a terrible situation.

It also has a link to a maintenance calculator. He may say you'd get nothing, but, that's not what the law says. So, he can swivel.

I'm not far from you either , go straight to the police and report this its abuse , then council they will arrange for you to be temporarily housed , women's aid and cab also can help get your benefits and tax credits sorted I did this 2 1/2 years ago it was hard but I did it and so can you , please give me a pm if there's anything at all I can help with as I say I'm not far from you

This is proper LTB territory. My husband would never dream of doing this. Please take steps to get help.

OP financial abuse is now classed as a crime. Please please call the police

How are you op? Hope things are OK.... you were given good advice above, please also remember to delete your search history, keep safe