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SAHP

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

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Original poster

How important to you is the school run?

59 replies

LetsPlayBamboozled · 02/07/2016 17:01

DD is 21 months. We don't have family nearby so she has barely been left with grandparents for a couple of hours. I find it hard to imagine her going to nursery. But we are surviving in London on one salary whilst I am a SAHP so soon I will need to work. I feel like doing the school run will be important to me. However, having not left DD with anyone I think this could be clouding my judgement (can't imagine a childminder/nanny etc doing it)

I need to think about what kind of job to get. I am looking at supermarkets hoping I can be flexible for school hours. But maybe the school run is essentially a nightmare of chasing to be somewhere on time and actually it's silly to base a career decision around it?? I just wondered how other SAHP's feel about it? Hope that makes sense!

OP posts:

HostaFireandIce · 05/07/2016 16:48

I love the school run! My DS and I always have a nice chat on the way into school. We guess how big the queue will be at the junction, look out for his friends' cars etc. When I pick him up, I get to hear all about his day. He won't ever repeat it when his Dad asks him later - I have to do that! I gave up work when he was 2 and a half so it still feels like a treat to me, I suppose.

YorkshireTeaDrinker · 05/07/2016 16:49

DD is in reception. I do every drop off and three pick ups. Work 4 days (2 long, 2 short). Grandparents pick up one day, after school club on the other day. I started the year doing a childcare swop with another parent. Stopped this on the final term as DD wanted to go to after school club (and I didn't want to be a childminder!)

Next year I will probably add in a couple of sessions in breakfast club so I can extend my short days a bit. Plus mornings are pretty fraught, I rarely get to talk to the teachers (pick up is better for this) and DD wants to go to breakfast club as so many of her classmates do.

I wanted to avoid wraparound care when DD first started school as she hadn't completely dropped her afternoon nap and I knew she would be tired. After nearly a year at school, this isn't such an issue. The key thing for me is minimising the length of her day. So breakfast club will be on a day that I do pick up, and after school club on a day I do drop off.

I have a v flexible job where I can, to a certain extent, dictate the hours I work. This is because I applied for a full time job in my field (I am a very good fit in a fairly specialised role), and made a flexible working request at point of offer (which is always the best time to negotiate). You don't always have to look for part time roles, as work can sometimes be made to fit around you.

EverythingWillBeFine · 05/07/2016 16:51

School run for us is neither here or there.
Yes I do it but I can't say it's a special time for us. However, picking up after school is more important (even mow that the dcs are much much older).
So if I was to make a choice between the two, I would to and be there at the end of the day rather than at the start.
I suspect it will be dependant on your child too...

FV45 · 05/07/2016 16:54

Not really the same, but the school run I love even more is the 10 mins it takes to drive DS (17) to the bus stop in the morning. And 10 mins at the other end of the day. That's very special time. They need you in very different ways when they are teenagers.

Woodenmouse · 05/07/2016 16:57

This is a big issue for me too. With two young children I've actually decided that with trying to fit work around school and school holidays etc and the fact I only earn minimum wage I've decided it's not worth me going back to work after maternity leave. Especially with the cost of childcare for ds2 half my wages will go on childcare and I'm the holidays it would cost me more in childcare than I'd earn. It's so tough!

pottymummy · 05/07/2016 16:58

I have two days a week where I can do the school runs.
Its important for me that the kids aren't in wraparound care 5 days a week because
a) its knackering tp do a 8am to 6pm day - especially for the younger ones and
b) they don't get the opportunity to have friends over or fit in extra activities without those free afternoons (weekends are family time for us)

I also find it important that I have an opportunity to speak to teachers occasionally, and hand in forms and wotnots that I wouldn't be able to otherwise.

I'm lucky in that my job is pretty flexible. There are so many other times that you're needed (assemblies, sports days, mothers day meals, christmas festivities, fetes, clothing sales) I find it all exhausting!

NewLife4Me · 05/07/2016 17:00

I loved the school run and it was also important to my dc.
It was good that any problems could be sorted out there and then.
It was important for us to chat and play and hang out together for a while and to organise after school play with friends or accompany to activities.
I'd have hated to miss out on this.

woodsies1975 · 05/07/2016 17:05

I work 8.15 to 4.30 in a school myself, and I have a lovely set of parents, inlaws and friends who collect my kids from school for me. It is only recently I have gone back to work full time after working for the last 6 years part time for the family business. Maybe I miss it more because I once felt such a big part of school life but I miss not being able to say hi to other parents and collect them at the end of the day and have a chat with their teachers. I take them to school's breakfast club in the morning so don't see anyone then really. I count myself lucky I get the school holidays with them. My kids, 7 and 10, miss me picking them up. That makes me sad. But hey ho, we have to do what we have to do!

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 05/07/2016 17:06

We manage to do 3 out of 5 school runs a week, the other 2 days the kids go to after school club

On the after school club days the kids are just pooped and don't tell us anything that's going on in school or with their friends, we only hear that stuff on the days where we pick them up straigh from school

So. I mean I HATE doing them, but they're very very important. You miss being able to pick up on the small low level things that are bothering them on the days when you get them later

cantcookshouldntcook · 05/07/2016 17:22

I used to work 4 full days with my friends/family doing the school runs and a childminder friend having dd, this involved early drop offs and late pick ups and was very stressful for everybody. My ds' school work/behaviour went downhill so it seemed like such a struggle for no reward, now I work Sunday afternoons and 3 week day evenings in a supermarket and although I've halved my wages I now do all but 1 of the school runs, I have my dd all day and will be around in September when she starts half day nursery, and my dh takes over with the children when he gets home so I can go to work. Everybody is happier and ds school work has improved. Win!!!

cheapandcheerful · 05/07/2016 17:22

The school run is very important to me, for the reasons that many have already given.

I only work one day per week at the moment so manage to do most of them. As my dc are nearly all at school I would like to increase the amount I'm working but, as a teacher, that means sacrificing the school run for my own kids.

Out of interest, what jobs are people doing that allow them to also do the school run?

MLGs · 05/07/2016 17:23

I work full time but not always the same hours.

I try to do the school run as often as possible, but that might only be about once a week.

I enjoy it in some ways because it means I get more time with DD, and can chat to her on the way etc. But I don't think I'd enjoy it every day. All the things others have pointed out are a nightmare are a factor - the chivvying, the other parents parking like idiots, the bitchiness at the school gate I've heard about on here...

It's important to her that I can do it sometimes, but plenty of children cope whose parents can never do the school run.

ElsieMc · 05/07/2016 17:24

I worked sort of part time to do school collections and wish I hadn't. I worked 9-3.15 with no lunch at a solicitors. However, at around 3 pm there would always be that "urgent" job my boss insisted I do. I remember one time he insisted on me faxing court papers late on a Friday to a court office which was already shut. A very kind colleague stepped in for me and she later told me she was there until nearly 7 pm.

I would take holidays for sports day etc, but as I left at 12 yet again there would be another urgent job. My boss told me I coped with stress better than another colleague but he didn't realise that I bit my tongue because inside I was raging.

I can still remember the feeling of panic rushing to my car and trying to get to the school on time.

Don't put yourself through it. You certainly won't be missing much.

Numberoneisgone · 05/07/2016 17:26

DH does ours as he works from home. He loathes it. More the build up in preparing packed lunches and the hassle of getting the kids out. When I finish up for the summer it is the first thing he delights in handing over to me. I do it for a couple of weeks so it is still a novelty.

ThornyBird · 05/07/2016 17:31

Eldest is yr10, youngest is yr2 so I've been doing the school run for too many years now and the novelty has well and truly worn off .

I chose to become a SAHM to be able to do this but my ideal now would be part time work, 2-3 full days and 2 days 'off'. Currently I study 1 day a week so don't do the school run, the rest of my work fits round school hours so there's no escape

Mintychoc1 · 05/07/2016 17:33

I do 2 drop-offs and 3 pick-ups per week, and I wish I could do more, for all the various reasons other people have given.
If you have to choose, I would say that pick-ups are more important. Drops-offs are staggered, people arrive at different times, and they usually rush off afterwards. Pick-ups are more sociable - parents can chat in the playground, you can see who your kids are chatting to as they come out, arrange play-dates etc, and hear about the school day while it's still fresh in your child's mind.

Unicorntrainer · 05/07/2016 17:45

I worked in school meals, it was great, it meant I had the school holidays off so never had to worry about childcare

rubberducker · 05/07/2016 17:53

I'm a SAHM - drop offs in the morning are overrated. Getting them organised and out of the door on time is a hassle and we leave them at the gate at our school so no opportunity to catch up with teachers then. However I love doing pick ups. I enjoy chatting with the other parents in the playground (unlike most of mumsnet we have a lovely un-cliquey school), being up to date with school stuff and chatting to the DC about their day as we walk home.

Not that my DC appreciate it - I get asked constantly if they can go to breakfast club/after school club/childminders like some of their friends as it sounds like fun!

Pico2 · 05/07/2016 18:06

It varies a lot by school, with ours it is easier to talk to the teacher in the morning than the afternoon, but you can speak to them at either.

Randomer234 · 05/07/2016 18:13

I work night shifs at a care home (I've been there 8 years) it means I don't /won't miss anything with my son e.g school plays/parents evening etc and I can work full time hours which works for our family. Me and dh are passing ships but it means we both get quality time 1-1 😃

BathshebaDarkstone · 05/07/2016 18:58

School group tour guides in zoos etc work school hours. I applied for that, but you have to get in quick!

JimmyGreavesMoustache · 05/07/2016 19:05

picking up the DC is lovely - I manage this 2 afternoons/week, and am definitely keen to keep doing so, as it's nice to walk home and chat about the day.

dropping off not so much. We're in a blind panic. Someone's always forgotten something (often me). It's not exactly quality time. I am lucky to be able to do the drop off each morning as I work very locally indeed, but I don't think we'd notice much difference if I was dropping at breakfast club an hour earlier.

wonderstuff · 05/07/2016 23:12

I'm changing job so I can do more of the school run. I was working 4 days a week, and I loved that day when I could walk them to school and pick them up. I've been signed off with stress and being able to take them to school and pick up. I'm aiming for a three day a week job in September, so I can do either end of the week.
I live a mile from school, and so if I walk both ways, which I normally do it gives me a decent amount of exercise which is brilliant too.

Mislou · 06/07/2016 05:14

I based my job choice, on it since my daughter turned 5 this year. I was thrilled to find a job where the start is never before 9.30 or finishes after 2.30. It means I get to drop off and pick up.I like it most in summer when we can walk home , chatting together. We can take them into the classroom in the morning and they can stay and play on the play equipment or even climb the trees as long as they want at the,end of the day. I think it's nice to know who her friends are, like I did at preschool.

girlintheriver · 06/07/2016 05:24

I work nights too, I'm home in the morning to get them ready for school and can do the school run. Then I try and have a few hours rest before picking them up after school

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