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SAHP

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

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Original poster

What do SAHP do with their time?

27 replies

ParsleyCake · 04/10/2015 21:17

Baby is 3 months old and I'm bored out my mind. I clean the house every day, and he watches me from his chair/play mat/cot/travel cot etc as I go. Obviously we play and read books too but honestly this is incredibly boring and its grating on me. I don't want to go back to work yet - despite feeling bored I do savour the time I have with my gorgeously son - but I really need tips on things I can do and still include the baby. I can't do anything like sewing or crafts as he doesn't like watching me if I'm sitting still. We go on walks to the park every day but tbh he doesn't like going out in the pram right now. He also doesn't like the wind or bright sun so indoor tips would be most helpful.

OP posts:

ragged · 04/10/2015 21:26

hahahha. Do you go to any toddler groups? You are so Normal. Any neglected projects you can do around the house in small dribs & drabs time.

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 04/10/2015 21:30

At that age I took DC1 (things are different with DC2!) to library rhyme time, baby sensory class, houses of friends with babies, cafes, on walks. I would take him in the pram for a wander round the shops or an art gallery, then another cafe. Or swimming.

We didn't spend a lot of time just in the house though it did take hours to get ready to go out with all the feeding, changing and playing. I also spent time at home just cuddling and singing to him and taking photos

PatrickPolarBear · 04/10/2015 21:34

That age is easy. You just take them along with you to do whatever you're doing. Either sling or stroller, whatever works best to get baby to sleep.

Don't worry - life will get a lot more interesting in about 6 months when they are crawling and finding 100 ways a day to hurt themselves. And if not, well you can just go back to work.

NewLife4Me · 04/10/2015 21:35

it gets better when they are able to communicate and you can have fun together.
I used this time to sort the house and keep up with my hobbies and interests.
Visit friends and family, long walks in the park, studied with OU, studied at local college.
Do you not think it would help to get your baby used to the fact that you will sit and do things.
i don't mean it in a nasty way, but you'll be very restricted if you just do what you think your baby will like.

Ragwort · 04/10/2015 21:36

You don't need to adjust your lifestyle to totally suit a three month old baby - what do you mean 'he doesn't like watching you do crafts' ............. how does he react, does he scream the place down? How do you know he doesn't like going out in his pram ....... unless there are special circumstances I would just get on with your life .......... I carted my three month old around to all sorts of things that I wanted to do. .

Spidertracker · 04/10/2015 21:40

I used to play with baby, clean,wash, iron, cook. Go for walks, go swimming, go to post natal group, as they got to 6 months baby groups, toddler classes, story time at the library.
I can honestly say the best 9 years of my life when I was at home with little ones.
I went back to work in January this year as when my youngest started reception just doing the cooking cleaning washing etc gets boring really fast.

Artandco · 04/10/2015 21:41

Go somewhere. I was bored so took kids to Vietnam for 2 months when ds2 was 10 weeks old. That might be a tad too extreme for what your thinking though..

But seriously go and do whatever you would have done before. Take a train somewhere new for the day or a few days, visit art galleries, leisurely lunches out, take up running ( with baby in a jogger), take up yoga, baby morning cinema viewings, visit friends, learn a language

Liomsa · 04/10/2015 21:41

If he's reasonably amenable, just take him to things you want to do. Absolutely no point in baby groups, baby yoga, baby sign etc etc at this stage, so focus on you. I took my son to deserted noon showings at the cinema all the time, and we spent a lot of time on Hampstead Heath, and in art galleries and museums (lived in London then). He actually took his first steps in the Turbine Hall of Tate Midern

imwithspud · 04/10/2015 22:05

I can understand where you're coming from. I have an almost 3yo but she was away at the in laws with dp for the weekend so it was just me and the 4 month old. I had totally forgotten how 'easy' this stage is, my house hasn't been this tidy and organised in months. I honestly don't know what I did with all the 'free time' I had with dd1.And I actually got to sit down with a drink and a snack without having a burely toddler clambering all over me invading my personal space at every opportunity.

My advice would be to just get out of the house as much as possible. Remember you don't have to spend every waking minute entertaining your baby. It is okay to do things for yourself as well, so if you fancy a mooch round the shops, stick baby in the pushchair, if you fancy having a sit down with a cuppa and a quick browse of fb and mn whilst baby plays on their play mat for a few minutes, then do it! Anything to break the day up a bit.

Lilaclily · 05/10/2015 07:24

Can I suggest you might be overly anxious ?
He doesn't like wind & bright sun ? Hasn't your pram got a cover?
Have you gone to rhyme time at your library ? My two loved that
Swimming classes , baby groups etc

Annapurnacircuit · 05/10/2015 07:28

Outside, he'll get used to the weather soon enough.

I had twin babies and horses, bunged the pram in a stable and got on with my life.

Get to know other people in the area with babies and hang out together, it makes it sooo much easier if you have friends in the same situation

MNerAnon · 05/10/2015 07:37

It's not exactly answering your question OP, but I have to tell you how lucky you are!

At that age, I was permanently on my knees with exhaustion. I had a reflux baby who (despite medications) wouldn't lie down without screaming for about 1.5 hours after every feed day and night!

I would have loved to be bored and looking for activities. Trying not to envy you too much!

mummytime · 05/10/2015 08:14

He sounds like an easy baby. My first would cry as soon as put down, even for essential stuff.

You also sound a bit over anxious - he doesn't like sun or wind? How do you know? Even if he reacts to unusual things, a big part of your role is to introduce him to new experiences.
So go out! Meet friends, make new friends. Go for coffee. Do baby groups if you enjoy them. Swimming is good and of benefit for both of you. Go places you are interested in: museums, art galleries etc.
Try to enjoy these early days it will all change soon.

jellyjiggles · 05/10/2015 08:26

Yep it's boring! I think some people love it others find it dull.

I had 2 high needs babies and it was boring but it wasn't easy due to screaming, sleepless nights. 2 children keeps you busy.

I generally went to the park,coffee shops. Saw friends and family. By month 4 i'd enrolled in a 3 month night course at college. It kept me relatively sane!

Browsed in shops and at this time of year it's good to get organised for Christmas and for when you will be going back work. Baby groups are a bit boring until your dc can benefit and interact. NCT groups are ok for parents get togethers as long as you don't go all 'organic' and judgy.

My house has never been tidy since my first started crawling at 9 months. That's 9 years ago.

Enjoy your last chance to organise your life and have a tidy house . When that gets dull go back to work. I'm a much better parent for working. I love my kids but I need mental stimulation.

NickyEds · 05/10/2015 15:07

i'm like you Imwithspud! I have a 21 month old and an 11 week old and definitely see time with just the baby as time off! I loved it when ds was little-happiest time of my life. We did baby groups (I know other people hate the but I met some lovely women there), baby massage/sign/yoga, met friends, went to cafes, shopping, long walks, art galleries, watched box sets whilst bf....it was great. We were pretty much out all day most days. Without sounding too harsh op I think you might be being a bit pfb about going out with him, his likes and dislikes!

CarlaJones · 02/11/2015 12:40

I used to try and go out twice a day. So eg. Park in the morning, toddler group afternoon. Meet a friend with a baby am, Go for a walk in the afternoon. Ideally you'd want to be meeting other adults and kids at least once a day.

Wishfulmakeupping · 02/11/2015 12:44

It does get a lot harder OP (sorry!).
At that age- we met friends for coffee mornings, baby sensory, walks in park a lot at least twice a day, did the shopping, visited friends family.
Now toddler and one on way pretty much the same but toddler groups, trips to library, dance classes, I do volunterring while dd in preschool, play dates, crafts, walks in local country parks.

Wishfulmakeupping · 02/11/2015 12:44

And yy to baby massage dd loved that :)

Magic69 · 02/11/2015 12:46

I hated it too...couldn't wait to go back to work. I was so bored during my ML with DS1...with DS2 and DD..it was manic non stop and stressful, I prefer being at work. it

I admire SAHP....to be home with children all day needs some stamina, going to work is easy....to invest in and nurture children day in day out is the hardest job of all

SurlyCue · 02/11/2015 12:48

Oh how i wish mine were just 3 months old. Fond memories of doing exactly as i fucking pleased

scandichick · 02/11/2015 12:52

I understand the pram thing, DD1 hated it from about four to six months. Once she could sit up she suddenly loved it again. How about a sling? I alternated between that and short stints in the pram to keep her happy, but I was very relieved once she could go in the toddler seat...

There was nothing worse than going out and dreading the inevitable screaming all the time, so you have my sympathies. It really does get better!

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 02/11/2015 12:53

Oh yes. When they are a baby just get out the house as much as you can because like revolves around them sleeping and eating and things can get very dull.

Don't worry though, as soon enough they are constantly trashing the house and trying to hurt themselves by climbing and falling and you will spend you're time picking bits of shit off the carpet and anticipating life threatening accidents.

Enjoy the rest. You are in the eye of the storm currently.

snowgirl1 · 02/11/2015 13:04

When I was on maternity leave with DD I went to some sort of baby class every day (sometimes two) or got together with mums from my NCT group. We went to rhyme time at the local library (two libraries locally, so went to both); baby signing, baby swimming, baby massage, mamma & bubbas exercise class, baby sensory, tried monkey music, tried gymboree. Quite often one of the classes would be combined with a coffee with some of the mums afterwards, so by the time we'd got out of the house, got to the class, taken the class, had coffee, and got home again it had taken up several hours. It was as much more for me to get out of the house and to stay sane as it was for DD's benefit.

Fleurchamp · 02/11/2015 13:08

I have a 3 month old and TBH I don't know what I used to do with my time.

A usual day pans out like this - we are usually both up, fed and showered etc. by 9am I then try and fail to get DS to nap and so I usually pop him in a sling and either do chores round the house or go for a walk.

After his 10am feed I usually go out and do one of the following- rhyme time at the library, baby sensory, swimming, coffee morning, cinema, meet my mum, have a play date.... If I have nothing planned I may go for a mooch round the shops but this is rare.

If I am away from home I usually stop in a cafe to feed and change DS around 1pm (as I am right now!)

Then I usually go for a walk/ do something else in the afternoon returning home in good time for DS's 4pm feed.

I then try to keep things low key, he has a kick about on his mat while I prepare dinner/ do some other chores.

Then it's bath and bed.

My days fly by but then I am fortunate to live in an area where there are lots of groups and things to do with babies. I have made lots of friends/ acquaintances with babies the same age and so there is usually someone suggesting something to do.

Oh and I have just got back into the gym - they do sessions where you can take your baby and either leave them in their car seat or on a play mat.

It's really important for me to get out every day. I get cabin fever staying at home all day plus the house gets messier if I am in it

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 02/11/2015 13:13

Oh yes, my gym used to offer a free crèche with the top membership option and it was a blimmin godsend. Used that lots.

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