I'm in a bit of a dilemma and I really need some help as feeling very low about this.
I returned to my job on a part time basis last September doing 7.5 hours per week which is basically one shift 9-5.30pm. I work in a professional capacity and trained to degree level and am registered with a professional body.
I enjoy the work when I'm there but I feel so out of the loop and incredibly rusty all the time. I make silly mistakes (nothing major but irritating to me), things change every week that I am unaware of (prices, procedures etc) and I have been regularly off if my DS is sick as I have no backup childcare. He is 2 years old and goes to a childminder when I work.
I used to be full time and very committed and knowledgeable, I was the person that everybody asked for help from. Now I am constantly asking people for help and my confidence in my abilities and decision making is very low.
I just feel that working only 7.5hrs is not enough to give it my all and do the job to the best of my abilities and not enough to stay properly connected and informed.
I'm stuck in a dilemma of do I quit and become a SAHM and rejoin the work place in a few years when I have more time? Or should I apply to increase my hours and work at getting back into the swing of my job? I'm worried I will miss out on my son's vital early years if I work more but I also worry that I will never be able to rejoin my job at a later date with any confidence. If I quit now will things move on so much that I may never feel able to go back?
thanks