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Is my child missing out?

17 replies

FraggleRock77 · 12/08/2015 16:42

I'm a SAHM with a DS who is nearly two. I try and go to lots of groups/the park/play dates etc etc. My DS goes to nursery two afternoons a week which will increase to every afternoon by the time he is three. I get a lot of support from my mum as DH works long hours. Although i like my current role, i do wonder if DS would benefit from being at nursery more and if he is missing out compared to his peers? I try my best but I'm only human and sometimes i need a break. DS is currently watching CBeeBies while i have half an hour!

OP posts:
seaoflove · 12/08/2015 16:45

It's a long held myth that young children "need" nursery. He's not missing out, no. He's not even two.

CarrieLouise25 · 12/08/2015 16:50

Definitely not missing out! Children don't need nursery to flourish, I'd say the very opposite, they need home time with family x

MyDoItMyself · 12/08/2015 16:56

What they said! What could he possibly get from nursery that he doesn't already get? Especially since he's already going to nursery! Sounds like the perfect mix to me, he spends lots if time with you and you get to have a bit of a break as well

FraggleRock77 · 12/08/2015 17:05

Thank you for the positive feedback. I'm having one of those days where I'm flagging and feeling guilty for not doing more! My DS is not flagging! I never left my mums side until i went to school x

OP posts:
merrygoround51 · 12/08/2015 17:11

I would stop putting yourself under pressure re parks, soft play, playdates.

Children need fresh air, and opportunities to develop fine and gross motor skills all of which can be achieved in the home and garden with occassional trips to the park, playground etc

We have never stepped foot in soft play apart from birthday parties and I aim to keep it like that !

FraggleRock77 · 12/08/2015 17:23

Thank you Merry, i agree about soft play. I hate it! X

OP posts:
MyDoItMyself · 12/08/2015 18:26

Softplayhell is reserved for birthday parties (other people's) and grandparents. I bloody hate the places. They are NOT an essential part of life for a 2yo!

We all have those days when we feel knackered and rubbish and feel guilty for chucking them in from of ceebeebies all day while we have a quick cuppa. Flowers and Cake for you

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 12/08/2015 18:43

Mine is nearly 2 and has never been to nursery! Can't see what she's missing out on. We go to toddler groups, see friends, go to cafes, parks and museums etc, read books, play games, play in the garden... What more is there?

FraggleRock77 · 12/08/2015 19:02

Thanks Grotbag. I think they're my own worries really. I just worry sometimes that I'm not doing enough and my little sponge needs more! Just having a wobble today and wanted to know if other SAHP's had the same worries. X

OP posts:
WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 12/08/2015 19:05

It sounds like you're doing a great job Smile

FraggleRock77 · 12/08/2015 19:08

Thank you x

OP posts:
Dontloookbackinanger · 12/08/2015 19:14

Mine's 2.5 and not been to nursery. I don't feel he misses out at all, he gets 1 to 1 attention here plus play groups, play dates and trips out, which I couldn't hope for at nursery. He's starting pre-school in September for a couple of mornings a week. At the taster day all the staff commented on what an active, confident, happy little boy he is Probably say the same to every parent

GetTheFudgeOutOfRodge · 12/08/2015 20:11

It sounds like you're doing great Fraggle Smile**

We can put ourselves under so much pressure to make sure DCs have the best experience and opportunities to learn.
But he sounds like he's getting a great mix of things and doing far more than some kids his age.

My mum has told me on more than one occasion that until school age I either entertained myself or was plonked in from the TV all day, every day.
I don't think I've turned out too shabby Grin

lizabeth0607 · 14/08/2015 10:36

Your son isn't missing out.

At 18months my daughter had a hellish time at nursery, she couldn't settle and did not enjoy it one bit.

She starts nursery school in September and is SO much more positive at almost 4 years old. She wasn't ready at such a young age and has flourished at home with me.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 14/08/2015 17:45

I hate soft play. DS was ok with it, but then decided at 3 he hated it. Meh.
We did a toddler group session twice a week, no nursery. I did get quite a bit of pressure from a number of people about nursery/preschool. I was in no rush to send him, he was happy at home and not socially isolated.
However, he was simply not confident enough to cope with preschool when he had just turned three. I waited till he was past 3 1/2 before he went, and he started off with a few hours which we slowly increased. This worked well and he settled in without too much stress.
One of my neighbours decided I was totally wrong for delaying him starting and kept having a go at me about it, as if it was really any if her business!
She has now decided I am a snob as I applied and got him the local RC school. It's the closest primary! Why should I take him to a school further away that isn't as good?
Heh, sorry for the little rant there! Your child isn't missing out. Please ignore other people's guilt trips, you know your child best!

FraggleRock77 · 15/08/2015 11:55

Thank you for all the feed back. I think SAHM's are a rare thing these days. Well i feel like one and then you start to wonder/worry. I'm so pleased and lucky to be able to be at home with my DSx

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 17/08/2015 14:45

listen, loads of people put their kids in nursery so there are loads of people who have a vested interest in selling the benefits. (who I also suspect they are worried that they are not doing the best for their children as lots worry they should have made the other choice whatever it may be) the government wants kids in nurseries so they can get parents working, and therefore get more tax. some families will benefit from putting children in nursery... not as many as the government makes out though I suspect. also it is not in the political climate to encourage sahps so you will hear less about the benefits of children staying at home with parents.

whether a home setting or nursery setting is best, well I have not read any enough peer reveiwed research to answer. you are best placed to know what is best for your child. we can not answer that for you. anyway the answers here will be skewed towards sahp perspective.

my children are intorverts with additional needs. they thrive best at home. they get annoyed at nothaving the things other children have... but they can not have both mummy time and material stuff.

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