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Advantages of nursery?

24 replies

Sephy · 24/05/2015 15:31

My DD is at home with me full time and I love it - I put a lot of effort into interacting with her and thinking of fun things for her to do. She also does plenty of toddler groups etc so she meets others.
Does anyone know what research says about the benefits of nursery for a child with a SAHP? I guess going from being home with me all day now (19mo) to full time school at 4.5 would be a shock, but I'm not sure how much she'd benefit from nursery / pre-school in the meantime and how much she benefits from one to one interaction with me instead.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 24/05/2015 16:31

mine never went until they got their free hours at age 3

ChablisTyrant · 24/05/2015 16:35

I think that if you provide a stimulating home environment then it isn't necessary until the age where they start properly socialising with other children: this is around 3. I'd wait for the free hours after her first birthday and even then I wouldn't necessarily take up all 15 immediately. Maybe 3 short mornings would be best, gradually increasing to include one 9-3 day before she goes to school.

fortunately · 24/05/2015 16:42

More time to get jobs done, few hours peace and quiet in the day, time to get to the shops, time to have a bath and a nap....

I'm sure there are benefits to the kid of some description too Smile

Littlefish · 24/05/2015 16:45

I wouldn't send her to nursery until she is 3. At that age, nursery does have the benefit of giving your child the opportunity to spend time with children her own age, without you there, learning to compromise, share and develop her own interests.

notadoctor · 24/05/2015 19:55

I think most the research suggests the benefits for kids (socialisation, preparation for school etc) kick in at around 3yo - unless it's a household where the kids are deprived/ under stimulated. If your enjoying your time together, don't worry - it doesn't sound like your DD is missing out at all. My DCs both do their 15hours as I do some work from home - some weeks I'm glad of a bit of time to myself, other weeks I really miss them!

FishWithABicycle · 24/05/2015 20:01

There was an article the other day saying there was evidence that all the infections sniffles and bugs that nursery children give each other seem to help protect against childhood leukaemia. No idea how strong the evidence is.

mumto3alexa · 24/05/2015 20:05

If you can afford it then I would definitely send them for a few sessions, especially once they get to aged 2.

Teacuptravells · 24/05/2015 20:06

I wouldn't at all at 2 unless you absolutely had to! (I was offered them free as my husband had been made redundant but both the lovely preschool and I agreed we'd rather not until 3 unless there is a "need").

trilbydoll · 24/05/2015 20:10

I think the benefits at 2 are only if there's stuff you don't do - they do quite a lot of painting and messy stuff at DD's nursery which I am just not up for doing at all, even baking is pushing it for me!

mumto3alexa · 24/05/2015 20:13

We paid for them when dh sahd as I didn't want dd to miss out when the others had the chance to go from young. We can't afford as much as we would like to at the moment.

captainproton · 24/05/2015 20:35

my nearly 3 yo has been going to playgroup for 3 mornings a week since she was 2.5. She is the sort of child though that skips into the school throws her coat at me and makes a beeline for the toys. She loves it, but there are others that I see crying when their mums have gone home and they are still being held by the staff for cuddles when I go back to get my daughter at lunchtime. In that situation if you are a SAHM I wouldn't necessarily put them into playgroup or pre-school until they are a bit older. It's one of the advantages of being a SAHM isn't it. All kids are different, and some take longer to get to that stage of being ready to be left than others.

Atenco · 24/05/2015 21:08

She's get a stimulating interaction with you, she has a chance to spend time with other children, why send her to nursery?

I had to send mine to nursery and was lucky enough to be able to afford a good one. But even if I had been SAHM I'm sure she would have been better off because, firstly I am not so clever with children and secondly there are no mother and toddler groups in my country. But it your case and as long as you are enjoying your child, I wouldn't bother.

Cassie258 · 24/05/2015 21:18

Not sure if I'm allowed to post here being a WOHP but I'd love to give my two pence.

DD went to nursery from 8 months and she loved it. She was doing things I wouldn't think of/have the opportunity to do with her and she excelled past my SAHM friends children.

However, I believe this was because my friends didn't do the things you've said you are doing.

You are socialising your child with the toddler groups and teaching them with your activities. I don't think a child of that age needs to have time away from mummy to develop that way.

If you feel you need that little bit of time away so that you can have 'me' time or run errands/do jobs much quicker then it certainly won't harm your child but with everything you are doing, I don't think it's 'needed' Grin

Gunpowder · 24/05/2015 21:24

DD started 1 day a week from 2, two days a week from 2.5, mainly for the reasons fortunately mentioned. Grin

findingherfeet · 24/05/2015 21:49

Well for me, nursery has been a real bonus (an expensive bonus)

DD went two mornings a week from 2yo. I was heavily pregnant and wanted to have time with baby alone and for her to be settled into a routine at nursery when her brother arrived. I knew I'd initially be exhausted and not much fun! She cried at drop offs at first and it was awful but as soon as I'd left she was fine. She's made lots of friends, she's far more confident with other adults and she enjoys the activities so much. (We do lots of fun things too! It's just a different experience for her) it gives us some time apart and she chats away about her mornings, I love it.

When DS was 1 I sent him for a morning as well - this to be fair was for my sanity. But he's been so happy to go - perhaps because I'm relaxed about it, it's been no problem. I don't have anyone to have the kids for me and I need some time alone once a week. I like that they go together. I can get things done and I honestly think I'm a better mum for it because it isn't so relentless and I get a chance to miss them!

I like to think we do a lot of nice things together and socialise but if I'd kept my DD just at home till 3 I think she'd have got a bit bored, when she dropped her naps the day felt quite a long time to keep her entertained, she has got bundles of energy and enthusiasm for life and having nursery (plus other structured groups) really helps both of us I think.

Pico2 · 24/05/2015 22:22

I think (not researched based) that the formation of strong relationships with the other adults at nursery can be useful for some children. My DD formed excellent relationships with staff and interacted very positively with other parents from when she had just turned 2.

PicaK · 25/05/2015 08:51

I think preschool is a good idea. For me it was a lifesaver - I found the 2 mornings recharged me. In another 12 months you may feel worn down tho equally you may not.
School is v different to preschool. You leave them at the door, you don't know what they're doing etc. purely for your sake it's better to go thRough that at preschool where they'll be happy to chat and tell you.

ISaySteadyOn · 25/05/2015 10:02

I think it depends on the child. I'm about to put DD2 (2 yo) into nursery for a few hours in the morning because I honestly believe she will enjoy it and also because that way I can get a certain amount of housework done which means I will have more attention to spare for her.

I would not have done this with DD1 as she wasn't even close to ready and it is too early to tell with DS.

Sephy · 25/05/2015 12:48

Thanks everyone for your thoughts, very interesting.

OP posts:
Hillijx · 29/05/2015 10:34

I'm a sahm and put my Dd1 in preschool at 3, she was more than ready, she had dropped her naps and wanted way more time with friends than I could provide even though we saw people daily. She loved it and I think it's helped prepare her for school as she starts there at 4 due to being a summer baby. I think you will know when she is ready so maybe put her name down for your local pre school if there's a waiting list and take it up when you both feel it's time. X

purplewoofer · 10/06/2015 19:52

My pfb is starting play school in September will be 2.5 and no.2 is due at the end of September l. He has never been away from me other than parents / close family as there has been no need for it so hopefully it will not be a disaster and I will get some rest before he next one arrives an will get some one on one time with the new one as well

HSMMaCM · 10/06/2015 19:55

If you're doing lots of socialising activities and learning through play, you don't need a nursery. If you're worried about coping away from you at 4.5, then why do it any earlier, it will only be harder. That said ... Many children love nursery.


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Only1scoop · 10/06/2015 20:01

Dd did 2 afternoons a week from 10 months and really loved it. We didn't really go to groups though so being an only dc we felt it was great for her. Lovely to see her interacting with her little friends. I loved it also as I got time to get things done and have some time to myself Smile

When she started reception she was running in all excited and confident there were a few dc who hadn't been to nursery and they seemed to find it more difficult to begin with.

NickyEds · 11/06/2015 17:54

I think we'll wait until ds turns 3 (18 months now) unless he or I start to go nuts! I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant so he'll definitely learn to share at home with me!!!

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