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SAHP

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

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Original poster

Time off

22 replies

OctopusArmEnvy · 24/05/2015 06:47

I adore my 3 under 5s as DH leaves before breakfast and doesn't get home till bedtime stories it can feel abit full on!!
I'm having some much anticipated time out this weekend. I'm off shopping this afternoon for new running trainers and a long lunch to myself ;-) then tomorrow afternoon DH is taking them out so I can sew :-)
What do you all do with your time off or is it just me that feels the need every couple of months?

OP posts:

fhdl34 · 24/05/2015 07:27

Recently my child free time has all been spent getting our house ready to move (feels like every weekend since forever has been spent decluttering and doing tip and charity shop runs) but I did get a massage last week and in July I am going to London for the day for theatre and maybe shopping.

mrsdavidbowie · 24/05/2015 07:31

Every Saturday afternoon 1-6 was my free time from when they were six weeks old. I'd go anywhere... Library, bar, coffee, shops, cinema.

ThursdayLast · 24/05/2015 07:31

Every couple of MONTHS???

I need to be away from my DS (2yo) a couple of times a week! Running and a Pilates class are my guaranteed times. Last night was no DS or DH

howabout · 24/05/2015 07:35

My 3 are at their Grannies - bliss! I used to plan trips to Art Galleries, evenings swimming and "just for me shopping". These days I like having the house to myself to potter without intrusion or deadline. Today I am going to watch the TV politics shows in peace, do paperwork, play my violin, do some dressmaking and spend an hour in the bath, or I might just make another cup of coffee or 3.

howabout · 24/05/2015 07:36

ThursdayLast No DC or DH is the Best

ThursdayLast · 24/05/2015 07:48

You're right howabout, just me, my mate and a cocktail or five

Lovely

Snozwanger · 24/05/2015 08:05

My DS is 17 months and I've never had any regular time off. I'm starting to think it's desperately needed. DH goes away regularly on a weekend to do his hobby however all my hobbies are housebound i.e. Crafting, sewing, gardening. I've been desperately trying to invent a new hobby to get me out the house!

kiwiscantfly · 24/05/2015 08:15

My hobbies are mostly house based too, crafty ones. If it's fine DH takes the girls out most Saturday's for at least a couple of hours. Me time is essential IMO!

bronya · 24/05/2015 08:19

I go and ride my horse three times a week for an hour or so. Bliss!

peppajay · 24/05/2015 08:30

I wish I could get some time off unfortunately my son has aspergers so no one wants to look after him. He is very different with me and rarely has meltdowns but no one else can cope. Never had more than an hour off at the weekends I adore my evenings when I get a couple of hours to myself but am often so tired I go to bed!! I got a voucher for my birthday for a massage from the girls at work but am going to have to sell it as have no one to look after the kids. I do go out with friends in the evenings a couple of times a month but would love to be able to be involved in days out!!

BookTart · 24/05/2015 09:18

I was just about to post asking something similar. DD is 16 months and we've never been apart for more than 2 hours. DH has suggested putting her in a nursery for two mornings a week so I can get some time to myself - does anyone else do this? It feels a bit extravagant and like I'm missing the point of being a SAHP, but on the other hand I think we're getting a bit sick of each other sometimes!

ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 24/05/2015 09:43

'time off' for me is about a good nights sleep and a lie in. my two are both school age, but ds has several SNs some of which mean he doesn't sleep well, and both are very early risers (5.30am)

I go and spend the night at my mums once a month, we drink wine, watch a DVD and eat chinese food... and then i get to sleep.

BookTart
If you can afford it, go for it, it will do her some good socialwise, and do you the world of good to get a bit of time to yourself. Parenting is hard, and as much as we like to be there, you dont have to be a martyr to it if it will do you both some good.

At the risk of sounding twee... happy mummy, happy baby :) i know people scoff, but having raised a child with SN who at that age was very high needs, i wouldn't have got through without my mom being willing to look after him every now and again, just so i could regain a bit of sanity!

ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 24/05/2015 09:48

I'm sorry peppajay, i know how hard it is. My boy is nearly 9 now (he has dcd/spd/adhd/asd) and its taken a long time to 'cultivate' a few people who i can rely on to look after him, other than my mum, and even she get worn out by him after a few hours.

He's why i gave up work to be honest, my employers just didnt get that if my childcare fell through, that i couldnt just 'get a babysitter' short notice!!

PicaK · 24/05/2015 13:51

I've been going through the adoption process and one of the most eye opening bits for me was that every single book on becoming an adopted parent tells you you must make time and space for yourself to relax every week. It's considered hugely important and your social worker wants to know how and when you will carve out this time.
As someone who went slightly loopy with sleep deprivation and being there the whole time I nearly cried when I read it.

Mutley77 · 24/05/2015 15:02

I am a sahm and put my youngest in nursery one day a week for "me time". I don't really see it as that because I have a DD10 and a DS6 as well so feel like I am constantly on the go....! I do think you need to prioritise your own mental health and happiness as a mum - which I have learned as I have had more children.

When I have time out I like to exercise, go on a nice walk, have some peace and quiet, read a book or sometimes get a job done that I can't focus on with my DC there (sorting things out or some kind of paperwork). I do also split my time out between being alone and "quiet" and with girlfriends. I enjoy some time chitchatting and with company as much as time on my own.

I do also make sure I get my hair done regularly and I'm not a big appearance person but like a massage every now and then or a manicure/pedicure.

morethanpotatoprints · 26/05/2015 18:19

I think it can be really difficult when they are little as they are really needy, once they get bigger it does become easier to pursue hobbies and interests that are indoors.
I found something relaxing like a bath and a book good when they were little, just an hour before bed can really make the difference.
Lighting some really nice candles and having a pamper was good. I also started ancestry and am still going now
It helps if you have an o/h or sitter you can leave the dc with so you can go out with friends, or swap babysitting with another couple so you and your o/h get some time together.
I think you need this for your sanity tbh, but even once a month is better than nothing if you can only manage this.

Hillijx · 27/05/2015 14:18

I'm another with three under 5's (they are all actually under 4) and I barely get any time to myself as dh works a lot, weekends I like to get some family time in so it isn't just parent tag teaming and evenings are spent getting dc to bed, making dinner, tidying the carnage and getting to bed as dd3 is only 7 weeks so up a lot in the night. I think time to yourself is very important and I want more!!

Booktart, just spoke to someone who has a nanny, cleaner and ironing service so I don't think a couple of mornings is being lazy! I think sahp feel guilty for time away as we feel it's our job, my dh gets lots of hobby time yet I feel bad for an hours break!

Enjoy your weekend op, it sounds like bliss!

MrsPear · 28/05/2015 13:45

I have just put ds2 into pre school for 6 hours (all we can afford until funding in Jan) and it has made me realize how much I needed it! The only other time off is if h takes them to a cafe for an hour or two. No evenings out although I have been invited to a child free wedding in the summer ....

NighteyesLovesGingerbread · 30/05/2015 09:21

I have 3 under 5 too and I love my 'me time'! I go out one evening a week to play badminton with some girlfriends and I usually go to the pub one evening a month at least with some close friends.

some might not approve but my kids know that after lunch they are not to bother me, i set them up with a DVD and i have half an hour with a cup of tea and bad tv and it's rare that they disturb me. gives me chance to recharge for the afternoon. (they are in the next room so i can hear if they have a problem)

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 30/05/2015 09:24

Ditto snoz, DD is 18 months old and I haven't had a day 'off' since she was born. Really starting to feel the effects now I'm 35 weeks pregnant.

MumRaah · 30/05/2015 16:05

I like pottering about in my garden

Helps me to unwind

BlackeyedSusan · 30/05/2015 17:58

mine go to school. I have been ordered by the gp to take at least 30 minutes off per day. (have a condition that is exacerbated by stress)

both have additional needs so are full on when home. both make extra work because of their additional needs so time off during the school day is essential for sanity.

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