Where to go to escape gentrification/‘daaarrrling’ brigade?

[Warrick23]

Currently south east, finance-working Waterloo commuter - but not for much longer!

Taking Vol. Redundancy and will be retraining (maths teacher training) in Sept 26. Want to then look for secondary schools somewhere rural (I love walking and lived in a Devon village as a kid) in England (elderly parents down south so need to stay in England/Wales I think). Know I’m swapping one set of long hours (8.00 - 20/22.00)for another but looking forward to doing something less robotic/grey.

Not interested in ‘naice’/‘it’s just like London/south east’ type places and got no kids so schools (other than working in one) not an issue. I don’t drink coffee either so no ‘cafe culture’ required!

Just had enough of long hours, soul
less work/how busy it all is and the way people talk endlessly (just endured a fortnight of Xmas parties) about their “role/career” as though it’s something far more than a job; final straw was when someone introduced a friend last week (with what seemed like genuine sincerity) as ‘one of the leading online marketing experts of his generation’ last week.

I’d also like a pub that just serves beer without a fuss/a back story/an autobiography about the landlord and landlady etc. In short, I’m out of patience with all the braying south east BS and noisy self-importance.

If you live in the south east are are not like this (or I’ve got it all wrong and everyone is really actually modest and softly spoken but just comes across lile this sometimes) then I apologise - perhaps it’s simply my town/line of work - but it does feel pretty pervasive.

So, do you live in a rural place where there isn’t a Waitrose, where no one puts their hands on their hips/in their belt when they talk, no one wears red trousers, where people use their voice at a moderate volume in public/on their phone and can discuss something other than themselves/how important their work is or skiing - and there’s a normal (ungastro-ed) pub?

Thanks.

GS

I think the not reading the post bit related to your idea I was writing about south east babies (which was an analogy)! Not the rest of it. Moving a few hundred miles will hopefully insulate me from gentrification creep over the next 25 years - whereas if I find an enclave of normal down south it won’t last (even if you are enjoying a vestige of it now).

I won’t tell them I’m from London though will I! Ha ha! I’ll tell them I’m from Devon (which is true) and I’ve never felt like a Londoner ever anyway.

There’s far worse things that could creep in than red trousers and Waitrose tbh.
Visit the Sussex coast (not Brighton though) Littlehampton, Bognor Regis etc.
Nice normal places with none of what you describe and you’re still just down the road from london

There is also a really good teacher training programme based in Chatteris.

Its an attitude.i used to live in East Sussex and it did my head in. Perhaps if you are around it all the time you dont notice it.

@Warrick23 You’ll still be an outsider or “blow in” so unless you go to Devon you’re not a local. You won’t have local credentials or like local things. You already want a nice pub. Many country pubs aren’t that nice and many are closing. You probably know nothing about farming or country pursuits so you’ll have to learn quick. You will be the start of gentrification so locals will be suspicious. You’re looking for a club where you are the only member but everyone else is playing their country poor role to keep you grounded.

Quite honestly, live where you like. You will be coming with money, far more than locals earn, so you will be an obvious blow in from London. It’s inevitable. That won’t earn you brownie points.

The best bit of advice is look for a place with great schools where teachers are valued. You might even look for a grammar school where dc will want to learn. Falling that, Hampshire has great 6th form colleges. I’d pick school over some utopia where you won’t fit in.

@Warrick23 “I don’t mind mixing but what I’d rather do is be in a place where there is a mix - not a monoculture of values and attitudes that has arisen from the noisy hegemony created by a rah/loud group in an area.” Eh, what? Seriously though, take a look at the words you are writing. You want to move out of London to somewhere where there are no other pretentious Londoners, but you write just like the very sort of people you want for there not to be any of where you are going to. The PP has it right when she says “You will be the start of gentrification so locals will be suspicious. You’re looking for a club where you are the only member but everyone else is playing their country poor role to keep you grounded.”

Brighton? Yeah I can definitely see it being like that there. I’ve lived in Littlehampton and before that Bognor Regis for decades and have never experienced it

Have you actually lived anywhere like this as an adult OP out of interest- can’t help but wonder if it’s something that appeals in principle but might not so much in reality- it is possible to get a mixed community in all kinds of areas-I’ve lived all over and even here in Bath and when we lived in Oxford and Canterbury we still had big areas of proper locals , pubs that were a bit more proper locals and Lidl/Aldi/Morrisons etc if you prefer it ( although we don’t have Aldi in Bath) I can totally understand why you might want a bit more proper rural nature close by compared to where you are but quite often you will still get others like yourself and a bit of gentrification too in the more attractive places , but still a wide range of people there if you frequent the right places - bear in mind ‘work ‘ too - being near to bigger centres gives more options. . My suggestions would be Saddleworth area, Peak District, Belper, Tideswell etc , north yorks,,maybe South Somerset or you might be ok somewhere like Dorset/Somerset borders or around Evesham, Malvern in Worcestershire etc -

Or forget England altogether? Perth is fabulous.

Carlisle - there might be some posh country folk in the villages around it, but Carlisle itself is normal. Or the Cumbrian coast - Maryport, Workington, Whitehaven, Barrow in Furness.

Any run down poor country area would do surely? Take a peek at the diversity of the grounded locals!

This seems more like the culture of your work place / field (marketing / finance) rather than a strictly regional thing. Potentially, you need to move out of commuting range for marketing/finance jobs? Surely even if you don't, your new teaching colleagues, will simply be far less likely to be like this, wherever you and they are.

Of course I’ll fit in. Because I know that takes about 200 years, patience, luck, and not making a fuss over at least what’s left of my lifetime (and even then!). I won’t have more money than the locals because I’ll be an NQT teacher and I don’t want a nice pub - I want a pub - a tired old grotty one would be ideal compared to the OTT ones near me. I’ll be the new teacher not the DfLondoner and the idea I could gentrify somewhere is hilarious given what I’m wearing. I do love (coarse) fishing too though so that will be on the cards. Anywhoos- thanks for the advice from those that were really listening - especially if you already live out of Londons orbit -currently looking at an OS map of Somerset - looks ace.

Too hot and too many bitey venomous things (their bowlers for one) for Australia to be an option (unless you meant Perth, Scotland).

This is because you work in finance in the city surely? Move to an inner city comp in a less naice part of London and you will find minimal braying.

Get yourself a geology map. Anywhere on a coalfield /former pit village is unlikely to be too posh.

This post is so offensive , I’m surprised so many people think it’s ok. If I wrote some ridiculous stereotype about everyone who lived in South Wales or the Notth East I’d be rightly crucified.

And the idea that there is one inescapable monoculture in London and the whole South East says more about you than it does in London. Seriously ridiculous. Brighton , Kensington, Tower Hamlets, Southend, Ruislip, Brixton, Tunbridge Wells all the same! Maybe just stop hanging out with the same crowd and leave off insulting millions of people.

@NotMeNoNo if OP fancies Somerset, then maybe she could look at Radstock or Midsomer Norton -both ex mining and extremely ungentrified and have the basic but ( to me) a bit grim pubs- however on the plus side they have great countryside around them , fairly cheap housing including some pretty terraced cottages and if OP does need some proper shops for stuff have Bath within 20 minutes drive ( and good bus route)

Yep I was wondering that! Either that, or OP doesn’t travel outside a very small Surrey/West London bubble.

Definitely never experienced this in Lewes or Eastbourne, Canterbury or Kent coast, Hastings, Gloucester, Shrewsbury, Portsmouth, Bristol, Sheffield, Newcastle, N Yorkshire. Unless OP just means middle class people, but the bragging and performativity and keeping up with the Joneses all sounds a bit insecure and non-U!

Im not saying all people are like this (think I literally said that in second post) in south east but this voice/attitude does seem quite dominant/loud when it is present. Are there lots of people like I’ve described? Yes. Do most of them tend to live in London/South East/pockets of affluence/naice places around UK? Yes. Is that because they are drawn there or because working in London might also make you a bit like that? Probably. Do I want to live in places like that. No.

There are always exceptions but there are also characteristics/traits of a place that hold reasonably true. People have also posted (without being corrected) that the countryside is unwelcoming and not friendly - not true of all rural areas and a bit stereotypical but (like the general picture I’ve sketched of London/south east) there is a more than a germ of truth to both portrayals of these areas which holds true and upon which it is reasonable to base decisions.

Thanks again - looks like lots of good training options and vacancies if willing to drive a bit (in most areas).

I agree. I live in SE just over an hour from London in the South Downs national Park.
Definitely quite a lot of affluent and rather up themselves people round here but also loads of really down to earth and nice people. I'd say more of the latter - that I come across at least.
That said cost of living here is so high if we could easily move without uprooting our young kids we probably would!

long hours (8.00 - 20/22.00)

FFS! That's not normal!

Life to work or work to enjoy a fabulous life.

Up to you.

Live, of course.

Do like to travel - UK and further afield (Syria, India, Norway, States etc) but with 5 weeks holiday a year and very long working hours (plus some weekend working) I think living somewhere more me will be better than just getting out of the bubble now and again.

8-8 is standard - that’s why I’m leaving!