Reaallly rural house. Would you go for it as a single female?

[Wartywartyyukyuk]

We need to move in the next three weeks. The only house we have been accepted for is incredibly rural. It is in the Yorkshire Dales National Park and is absolutely brilliant. My main concerns are:

My 7 year old might get lonely. She has autism, and will be going to a very small school (27 children on roll). Will they cope with her ASD and will she struggle to make friends with such a small cohort?

Food shopping-the nearest supermarket is over 40 minutes away. Do you get used to not being able to nip to the Co-op?

Internet-I wfh so need reliable internet. This really scares me!

Otherwise I am MEGA excited-we are at the foot of three fells!!! ❤️

Won't a smaller school be better for your dd?

Have you asked locals about the WiFi network strength?

It sounds absolutely idyllic

It really does doesn’t it? We have had an absolutely hellish last few years, so part of me thinks “this it is-this is the light at the end of the tunnel-this is the fresh start!”, and the other part of me is thinking “what is the catch? There must be a catch!” 😂

Nope! I’ve lived rurally before and never again. It looks idyllic in the summer but in the dead of winter it’s a nightmare.

With a young child I would never live too far away from emergency medical help. What if something happens to you (or her!) and there’s nobody else around? 26 pupils in an entire school sounds very isolating, quality of teaching would also concern me as presumably the year groups are amalgamated?

It's stunning but the winters are harsh

You will need a freezer and an actual Food Cupboard, full of tins & packets. This is for when you're ill and when you get snowed in or the road's flooded. If you're in a village, you can probably get deliveries from at least one supermarket. They won't be able to deliver when the road's impassable, though.

You need wellies (for the floods) and a shovel (for the snow), and some good torches.

Lots of rural places now have whizzy internet at subsidised prices, but some still have none at all. 4G coverage is almost countrywide, but rural places often get only one service. You'll need to do some thorough checking.

I bloody hated living out in the country, but I genuinely understand the appeal! Me, I like concrete paths with street lamps, shops & stuff. I imagine DD will love it, and I hope you do too. Congrats on your new home 🏡

@CherryValley5 this is what I’m worrying about too. We have had situations where we have had to call out ambulances (she gets febrile convulsions when she has fevers, and also has food allergies). We live in a hamlet currently, and we get cut off when it snows, but we can walk to the nearest Co-op (3 miles away), ambulances can get to us fairly quickly etc.

Our current school has nursery to Year 1 together, Years 2, 3 and 4 in together, and 5 and 6 in together, and it works well, but there are 60 children in the school, so if she falls out with one child then there are others to play with.

@Garlictest thank you so much! Our rental that we had lined up has fallen through, and we need to be out of here by the 11th, so I was really, really worried (hence me being up at 3:30am 😂).

We have been “semi” rural for the past 6 years-we don’t get phone signal at all, broadband was 0.5mbps until last year, and we have no shop, post office etc and get cut off when it snows, BUT, we are 5 miles from a town with a swimming pool for swimming lessons, 3 supermarkets, kids classes in drama, gymnastics, ballet etc, a library and a train and bus station for my eldest dd to come home from uni if she wants to. So we are half used to it 😂. I have a large chest freezer and use the under stairs cupboard as a pantry as my daughter is very particular about food, so I’m also used to stock-piling a bit! I think the thing I am worried about the most is that if dd does suddenly decide that she wants to become a gymnast/ballet dancer/super swimmer then I can’t enroll her in classes, but in all honesty she has tried all of them and never lasted longer than a term-she much prefers messing about in the woods with the dog.

she gets febrile convulsions when she has fevers, and also has food allergies

My short experiment with country living left me with a solid habit of keeping stocked up with food, batteries, toilet paper and first-aid stuff. In your case it would be prudent to talk to your GP about adrenaline, steroids and sedatives for DD. I don't know what the systems are for such things, but your new GP might be more clued up about remote emergency provision. Just make sure you have her full medical history when you talk to them.

I don't think the school's likely to be a problem.

The school will all depend on having two decent teachers as your child will be with each one for 4 years. This could be amazing as she will possibly enjoy the fact there is little change, but the teacher needs to be someone who understands her needs. There are more opportunities for diverse interests in a smaller school and hopefully they take full advantage of their fabulous location. My dc went to a similar school in rural lreland and due to fabulous teachers did extremely well. If the school is not open to a child's special needs you will find it impossible to move to another school due to distance. Really judge on the head teachers very first reaction to hearing your child has additional needs. First reactions tell a lot.
BUT!!
It will be isolated for you so think carefully about how you will cope with that. It can be bleak in Winter but if you and your dc are wrap up well, enjoy nature types that's a bonus. It probably will be lovely in Summer and you will get lots of visitors. I presume you have a car..don't do it without a car. And if your dc has appointments with OT, etc, it will be a long commute.

Cross-posted with you there, @Wartywartyyukyuk. Did you know you can request a phone mast if you've got no connection? I once got one just for a patchy service - don't know where they put it, but my street couldn't stop talking about how much our mobile service had improved!

There used to be a legal obligation to provide broadband on request, but I think that got clobbered during the Tory government. Should you need to, try asking Ofcom what to do - really hoping your new home benefited from the "whizzy web for all" initiative, though.

@Garlictest , @junebirthdaygirl , you are both wonderful, thank you!!

I am naturally very insular (I am pretty sure I’m autistic too-I get on well with people on a superficial level, but much prefer my own company and love nothing more than being home and knitting or sewing or making food and jam).

Both dd and I love being outside-we have always had a dog and have always walked around the fields and in the woods every morning before school, and every evening, literally from the day she was born. I still use a sling for her when her legs get tired because her legs give up long before she has had enough of being out there, we just love it. She also loves being at her forest school, and the school has its own forest school, so that will help with the transition hopefully! We are very close-her father left when she was born, and it has been just the two of us ever since. She gets on very well with adults, so we just love being in each other’s company.

The secondary school is bigger, and has an outstanding Ofsted with fantastic Send provision, so worst case scenario primary doesn’t work and we home educate until Secondary.

It all sounds perfect. Hope everything goes really well.

No, I would not feel safe in such a scenario. But each woman has her own judgment about what’s safe and what’s not. I feel much safer in dodgy urban settings than in isolated rural ones. If you feel comfortable with it then go with it. But the convulsions and need for quick medical help would worry me.