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Rural living

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Moving house nearer to grandparents or not?

6 replies

GlitterEars · 11/08/2024 04:07

Recently my husband and I found the perfect house- a cottage surrounded by fields in a idillic little village only 10/15 mins from my mum. At the moment we live in a busy town right next to a very loud busy road and retail park and 35 minutes away from my mums house.
I’ve got a 6 month old daughter and we are looking at moving to a nicer rural area for her - better schools way of life etc!

Before my daughter was born I agreed that my mum could look after her on a Monday when I’m back at work but living 35 minutes away from her means that on a Monday morning it is a hour around trip for my mum to pick her up or I’d have to travel away from my work and then back again to meet her half way. She has suggested having her on a Sunday overnight and picking her up Sunday evening but my husband wasn’t keen as he wants to make sure he can spend the most time with her at the weekends.

The house closer to my mums we found would have been ideal! A 10 min journey for her and access to a main motorway which meant it was 20 mins to work for both of us. But the offer fell through as we hadn’t sold our house yet and weren’t proceedable.
The rural cute village we found the house in rarely has houses up for sale or ones that we can afford, or in the nearby areas, and now we are stuck.

Yesterday we found a perfect house exactly what we like with period features large garden etc etc which is 12 mins from both our work, and 7 mins from the nursery I’ve signed my daughter up to start in. It’s not in the rural location we wanted but near good schools and a quieter road. However it is still 25 mins from my mum and makes the Monday drama difficult again.

What do I do! Hold out for a house in our dream location near my mum (this could take months and I’d have to settle my daughter into nursery near where we live now and then move her again) or buy this other house in the not so amazing area but ideal location to works and her nursery?

OP posts:
POTC · 11/08/2024 04:14

What will you do for childcare on the Mondays that your mum is unwell or on holiday? Use your holiday to cover it? If not, I'd be just going with the nursery as you'll be better off just using that and having your mum spend time with her at other times

GlitterEars · 11/08/2024 07:36

POTC · 11/08/2024 04:14

What will you do for childcare on the Mondays that your mum is unwell or on holiday? Use your holiday to cover it? If not, I'd be just going with the nursery as you'll be better off just using that and having your mum spend time with her at other times

Yes I’ll be using a holiday day on the odd occasion if needed. She’s so excited to have her on a Monday that I can’t take that away from her!

OP posts:
isthesolution · 11/08/2024 08:16

Buy the house if you like everything other than the proximity to your mum.

I'd personally be telling husband baby will stay at mums on the Sunday or he can take baby to mums on a Monday?!

Georgethecat1 · 11/08/2024 08:19

100% i would jump at you all going over on a Sunday and leaving them in the evening for a sleep over. You can then use Sunday evenings to work on your relationship, watch a movie etc.

As someone with no grandparents who help or baby sit I would love this. Seems like the best solution.

exprecis · 11/08/2024 08:24

Why doesn't your mum just look after her at yours? Then she doesn't have to do as much driving. And all the baby kit is there

Personally I wouldn't choose a house on the basis of a childcare arrangement like this one that is fundamentally quite short term - compared with the many years of school. I would only do it if you otherwise really love the schools, area, house itself

I would keep the door open to occasional Sunday overnights but I can understand why your DH doesn't want to commit to it every week

cerebuswannabe · 11/08/2024 10:26

Why don't you compromise for your child to stay at your mother's every other Sunday night and then the other week your mum watches the little one at yours?

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