Point of no return

[eastmiddlandsmove]

Hi,

Our contracts are about to exchange on a move from the south east to the East Midlands.

I'm having a wobble!!

Everything is done... new schools - great ones! New job, found the renovation project of our dreams.... on paper it's all amazing.
We're in love with the location & everyone we meets who's been there is envious of our move. Al sounds fab, right?

But I'm wobbling!! Big time!

Right now we're an hour from London and commuting for work is easy. But this is not an issue for either DH or I. London is about 1hour 45 mins from the new town.

I keep worrying that I'm limiting opportunities for the kids when they're young adults by taking this work option away from them? Am I bonkers to be worrying about this 10 years before it's an issue?

However, moving gives them access the an excellent secondary school, without the 11+ pressure.

This is just nerves, right?

TIA

Oooh exciting! Nah, you’ll be fine. And the children will go to University (probably) and might not want to return to live at home anyway by the time they’re looking for work. Whereabouts in East Midlands are you moving? (Please say Rutland 😁)

It is indeed Rutland!

Well…I grew up near there. My parents moved from London and I berated them for not staying in London and raising me there, and moved back to London as soon as I had the chance. I guess the countryside was nice though

It sounds like you've got really good, rational reasons for moving- it's not just some "Escape to the Country" fantasy. I hear you on the opportunities for young adults- I do sometimes wonder if we should have moved back to London (we lived overseas for ages and then moved back in 2022) but honestly, there's no way of doing what our DC will do when they leave school and whilst it's harder than it was, it's by no means impossible to move to London as a graduate independently.

I'm in exactly the same position! House is currently in the sale process with our buyers and we are moving from Essex to Suffolk. Doing it purely for a better standard of living for our child (who is just a baby at the moment) but schools are much better in the new area along with the community in general - low crime and the community have more respect for the area and people who live there compared to where we are now, which is becoming like a London suburb. I've had doubts myself as we are just 30min commute to London and I have to be in the office full time, so when I go back from maternity I will have a much longer (1 H 25mins) commute which is double the annual season ticket price. I keep on having thoughts of not having everything accessible on my doorstep like certain shops or with a quick train journey or being able to just jump on a train to see my family who are all in south london. But where I am the town is rundown and I never venture down there. And where we are moving too it will just take longer to get to things like shopping malls etc. I've had the same thoughts of when my child is grown that there isn't much job opportunities where we will be going but London is only a train journey away (yes a longer one) but not the other side of the world. As much as I want my child to live in more of a safer village type area, I will still be active in taking them in to London etc as much as possible so they know there is more out there than where we will be living. But I completely understand where you are coming from. I personally think you are doing the right thing, it will be a change but you will adapt and as we are both doing it for the well-being of our children and to have a more quality childhood x

Boom! Marvellous, nothing to worry about, you’re going love it !

Whatyasayyyyyy - I get the feeling we live on different parts of the same train line!

Our town centre is dire and so much crime; I can't imagine letting the kids go out and about as young teens.

We are moving to get them into a fab secondary school - ultimately giving them the best chance at achieving the grades they'd need to get into the great London jobs in the first place.

I know all will be well - I grew up here too (DH didn't) so that's pulling at my heartstrings too

I'm Basildon Essex but I'm from south east London where all my family still are x

So out the otherside of this now, we moved away when DCs were 1 and 3, they are 17 &20. Good and bad ;
Pros

1. Big house and garden so space for them to play with neighbours out back, have a tree house, football goal etc. Also could have birthday parties at home
2. Dd rode on acres of country side, roamed free on private land with a group of horsey friends for hours at the weekend and long summer days
3. DS played football on grass year round I could take him to matches without sitting in London traffic
4. Tiny village primary school with a pool they swam every day May- September both now excellent swimmers.

Cons:

1. Culturally monochrome, I grew up in London there were 7 first languages spoken in my yr 7 class.
2. Poverty of ambition locally so had to travel 1 hour + to better schools ( realise this might have been the case in London too)
3. Lack of acessible employment opportunities for DC, much of it is seasonal
4. Further from GPs

Thanks everyone- I'm back to filling up my Pinterest page with renovation ideas!!

I grew up in Rutland

Everyone intelligent moves to London, or Leeds/ Manchester (depending on uni)

Not very cultural but nice place

Countryside is boring

Shops in Queensgate, Peterborough, always been rubbish. No John Lewis any more :(

Airport and beaches a long way away

Not sure how Stamford keeps getting Times best town. Must be a link to the journalist.

Ok place to live but better connected prettier places for sure.

We're over an hour from any big airport now so that's not hugely different by the time we factor in M25 traffic.

Living near the beach isn't always all it's cracked up to be; I've grown up on the coast and it's swamped with tourists every summer and locals tend to stay away when it's busy.

I'm sure Rutland has plenty of intelligent people..... house prices dictated a good salary as a must!

Our dc have loved rural living. We moved when they were 9 and 2. We were taxis for many years but it was fine. They were not really ever bored, or more so than normal teens! We are actually by the coast and they have loved it. Small schools right through was great. Go for it!

Making sure the kids have plenty to do and a bit of independence as they get older is a must.

We're moving to a good size market town with a station and busses on hand. I don't mind driving them around for a few years. We do that already here and I can't see that changing for a good while yet, even if we stayed put.

A few days to go now and I'm
Terrified we're making a huge mistake. The kids are so sad, I'm wobbling.

I've so actively got us to this point but now all I can think about is the friends, family and beautiful house were leaving behind.

Is this normal? I'm always a bit crap at big decisions- this is a huge one. I get the feeling DH is burying his head; he knows in wobbling but won't talk about it. He really wants to go.

How are you feeling now love? We’ve just had an offer on our london house and I’m wobbling big time. Nothing about us as adults but all about the kids (two boys 11 and 8)

Rutland is beautiful. We don't live far and previously lived in a London Borough, I'd never move back! The kids are so much safer here and as a result have more freedom. When older your kids could hypothetically live closer to Peterborough and commute to London so you haven't closed that window entirely

Hi. I'm ok - we're here, and yes it is beautiful 😍

Focusing on the hear and now, being here's gives my kids a wonderful education for free and a safe place to have freedom in their teens.

Moving back will never be off the table but for now I'm going to enjoy this beautiful place.