Driving success stories please - moved from city to rural location!

[StarlightDreamer]

Hello, I’m reaching out to see if any Mumsnetters on here have been in a similar situation and have any success stories or advice. Have any of you been a nervous driver but passed your driving test in your late 20s / early 30s (i.e. you didn’t learn to drive when you were in your late teens like a lot of other people), moved from a city to a very rural location where you’re car-dependent and gained confidence on the roads there? Especially if you had to do a daily commute down country lanes in the dark??

I passed my test last year in my late 20s, I now have an automatic car and have moved to a rural location. I assumed my confidence at driving would come quickly over time as I’m car-dependent here, but I still feel the nerves rising when I get in the driver seat and I tend to only do a few local routes I’m comfortable with, during daylight hours. I’m trying to stay positive but at times I feel like giving it up and moving back to a house in a small town near a train station.

Any success stories and encouragement is very welcome, I want to be able to feel more confident commuting in the dark down these country roads and getting wherever I need to go to without nerves. I also recently had a baby, and suddenly having to drive a tiny crying baby around adds another layer to my nerves, so bonus points if your success story includes this as well!

Just drive as much as possible, don’t let partner drive when together, it really is experience and familiarity that helps. Drive these dark roads in the day, learn the nuances, then you will be more confident at night. Get your eyes tested also, minor changes are much more noticeable at night.

well done on actually driving I’m still being a bloody wimp!!

I'm exactly the same but not quite so rural and DH is still driving me and baby around!!

Need to get it sorted as the roads are soooo much quieter down here I need to get some confidence to start!

Practice practice practice.

Practice, practice, practice.
If you know you're going to have to do a route at night, do it in the daylight first.
Pay real attention at roundabouts and any complicated junctions and, if you don't think you were in the right position, work out which one is better and then go back and try that and see if it is.

Try out a new route on Google Earth, that way you will have an idea of sharp turns, narrow sections etc.

Just drive more, go out at quiet time like Sunday morning, on your own, and try some new routes. Can't think of anything worse than being in a rural location and car dependent, especially with a baby! if it really bothers you I'd look at moving to a more urban environment.

I moved out to a very rural location after living in the suburbs of London when my pregnant with first DC and never settled as I seemed to spend half my life in my car.
I moved to a small town nearby and that suited me much better but the rural roads took some getting used to, especially after dark.
My new friends were used to it but I really struggled.
I had a session with a driving instructor through the RAC and he appraised my driving and gave me some good tips which built up my confidence.
Lots and lots of practice is the key. Do lots of short journeys at quiet times and build up. Make sure you are up to date with eye tests too.

I passed a week after my 30th birthday, after about 2 years of lessons alongside learning with my partner. I had a lot of driving initially for work, building up and gradually taking over from using the train, and had someone sat with me for the normal work journeys the first time I did them. The pandemic then intervened, and I didn't drive much further than Asda really for months.

3 years ago we moved to a rural village where we basically have to drive for most things, and it's been fine. It's pushed me to have to drive and I am much more confident than I was when we moved.

Controversial opinion perhaps, but in some ways I prefer country lanes in the dark - you can see the full beam headlights approaching and are less likely to turn a corner and be surprised by another vehicle.

I'm with @Catopia - the rural lanes can be much safer in the dark as you can often see light from headlights round corners - which you can't in the daytime.

I regularly recommend 'Reg Local' here - his driving videos are excellent: https://youtube.com/@reglocall*

You could try the following to see if they help you:

'Night driving' 'How To drive on unfamiliar roads'

Or start from the beginning of his introductory series:
Even though it is called 'Advanced and Performance Driving' there's a huge amount of material in his videos that will make you a more confident and safer driver - he used to be a police advanced driving instructor so knows what he is talking about!

I live in a rural location and find it easier at night as you can see headlights! Just keep driving and also make sure you go on motorways. My nearest one is an hour away so I force myself now to drive longer journeys so I keep my confidence up. Just take it slow.

Thanks so much everyone for your replies - some really useful tips here :)

I have always lived rurally so I'm not in your position but I'm thinking it may be a case of familiarising yourself with these routes more. I'm perfectly comfortable driving around my local area in the dark as I have known those roads for years and I know where all the bends, pot holes and tight passing places are so I know where to slow down and be alert for a vehicle coming in the opposite direction or where there might be parked vehicles just around a bend. If I'm in an unfamiliar area its very different and I find I am overcautious, driving very slowly as I watch for any dangers that I may be unaware of. My advise would be to drive as much as possible during the day on routes you may need to use in the dark and gradually your confidence should grow.

Lots of good tips above.

I often use Google Earth to check out junctions etc if I’m going on a new journey.

If I have a little time to spare I sometimes deliberately try out new routes. That way, if there is an unexpected diversion one day, it doesn’t throw me for a loop!

Remember it often isn’t you as such - sometimes there is simply poor road design (you might find the website ‘Bad Junctions’ quite interesting!) and roads/junctions were originally built for a much lower volume of traffic than we have today.

Yes I did exactly this when I moved to the middle of nowhere. I love automatic so in my head it’s simply stop and go. I went out when I did t need to and could take my time. I have the saying all roads lead to Rome (for some bizarre reason 🤣) in my head and so if I go wrong, simple keep calm and carry on. I play my favourite music so driving becomes my little sanctuary. I changed my mindset to look forward to driving. I take a cup with a tea or coffee in. Lots of drivers like to drive up your arse but ignore ignore ignore and stick to speed limits. Take your time and never feel pressured to pull out if not 100%. I live on single track roads, again take your time and practise reversing. Again if having to reverse for a tractor, ignore if they drive right up to your bonnet, continue singing like you don’t have a care in the world, and take your time. Di not let anyone pressurise you to drive faster than you should. Finally, remember you’ve every right to be on the road and driving safely will get you to your destination without a problem. Hope that helps x