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Rural living

Looking to relocate to the countryside? Find advice in our Rural Living forum.

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Original poster

I hate my village

38 replies

Alijomer · 22/01/2024 01:53

Jeez, I feel like I'm in a nightmare I can't wake up from. I had the chance to follow my dream of living in Cornwall and landed up in a place I hate. My move was paid for by the landlord and has said they want me to be happy, but I'm not - I feel trapped. How can I tell them I'm unhappy after what they've done for me? I just can't. I love walking in nature and although there's lovely views here I can't get anywhere without driving for miles to find any sanctuary or safe places to let my dog off lead. I always had that where I came from and I'm missing it badly. I can't go back because there's no home to go to and don't have the money to move. Anyone else in similar circumstances?

OP posts:

Meadowfinch · 22/01/2024 02:26

I don't have a solution, but I know the feeling.

I stupidly moved in with ex to a 'highly desirable village' in the midlands and loathed it. Dual carriageways and light pollution and nowhere to walk that wasn't infested with lorries. The noise was horrendous. I could walk around the immediate village which felt like a one square mile exercise yard. When I asked where I could walk in woodland, someone suggested I drive TEN miles to the nearest wood! There was never any peace or solitude. It was awful.

I'm used to Salisbury plain and walking for twenty miles without meeting a lorry. In the end I left. It was making me ill.

Are you in a HA house? Can you arrange a swap?

MariaLuna · 22/01/2024 02:34

I blame programmes like "Escape to the Country" myself. Always only have couples on it.

Awful to be isolated. Sorry you're going through this OP.

MariaLuna · 22/01/2024 02:38

I feel trapped. How can I tell them I'm unhappy after what they've done for me?

They don't own you and you do not owe them an excuse. Just go with your gut, intuition and what is best for YOU.

What's the alternative?

Notatthemoment · 22/01/2024 08:07

I hate the village we moved to. Very similar issues to you although we are in the Home Counties and have awful curtain twitching neighbours just to add to the joy! We own the place so are escaping to a large town where ironically there are more areas to walk the dog and less traffic, plus things to do on the doorstep without having to drive for miles. If you are sure you are not going to settle there, be upfront and try to move again- there's always a way and your village sounds as though it's quite sought after so may be easy to exchange. Good luck. Escape to the country does indeed have a lot to answer for!

Original poster

Alijomer · 22/01/2024 09:12

Hi, no I'm in a private rental. I was a sitting tenant for a long time and my landlords wanted to sell up, they couldn't just chuck me out so they decided after talks that the only way was to buy a small property and rent it back to me. I was in a basement flat in a converted house worth £1.1m. So they asked where I wanted to go, so I said Cornwall. I know I should be grateful and I am - they've paid for everything to get here, but like you I'm used to space and being able to walk to sanctuary on the doorstep - I really thought anywhere in Cornwall would have that, but this village is so oppressive and have to drive miles to find sanctuary. I've got security for as long as I need it tbh, I'm neurodiverse and need that. I wanted to go somewhere nearer to where I know so I could go to the woods etc. I was told there was lots of walks around here but it's all lane walking and my dog struggles with that.

OP posts:

RowanMayfair · 22/01/2024 09:15

Were you an actual sitting tenant? Lived there since the 80s? I hope you got more out of the move than a new house to rent. Why can't you move from that private rental to a new one somewhere else? Are they offering you a specia deal?

ChanelNo19EDT · 22/01/2024 09:15

I am sure the landlord could find another tenant. You sound like you have some sort of relationship with the landlord? They might feel happy to charge the next tenant more.

What happened, what did the landlord "do for you"?

Did they buy a house in a location you suggested??

ChanelNo19EDT · 22/01/2024 09:17

Ah right sorry, you explained, I'm a skim reader 🫠

Tatumm · 22/01/2024 09:20

Make a plan. Do some research and brainstorm ways you could make living there more tolerable in the short term - can you afford to go away for a while?. Keep in mind that Cornwall, like everywhere, is bleak in mid winter.

For your sanity, then make some plans to move to somewhere more suitable. The landlord will find another tenant so I wouldn’t worry about that.

cheezncrackers · 22/01/2024 09:20

Given the shortage of rental properties in Cornwall I suspect the landlord would easily find another tenant, if you decided you wanted to move elsewhere.

Tatumm · 22/01/2024 09:21

Would you be allowed to do a house swap for a few weeks? There are web platforms that connect people who want to do this.

ChanelNo19EDT · 22/01/2024 09:22

I would try and give yourself more time to adjust to the village. You say it's oppressive. Have you encountered intrusion that felt like more than friendly inquisitiveness?

Betteroutdoors · 22/01/2024 09:27

I can totally understand the need to have somewhere for your dog without needing to get in the car. As a practical suggestion do you have proper Ordnance Survey maps / access to the app for the local area? I've found it's often a good way to find something that you didn't know was there that might help in the short term.

fluffyduvetcover · 22/01/2024 09:31

I moved from the city to a semi rural cottage. The house and garden were gorgeous and everything I'd always wanted
Except I hated it in the hamlet. I worked for four years on house and garden, with barely a soul to talk to unless I drove out to a supermarket some miles away ( didn't help that Covid) There was no where safe to walk the dogs as all the little lanes would have cars whizzing up at 50 miles an hour, I was surrounded by countryside but had to put my dogs in the car daily to walk them, no buses, no shop, no pub.
After just over three years I just knew that life is too short to wake up in an idyllic place if you're miserable.
So I sold up and moved back to the city.
I've never been happier. I don't have the beautiful cottage and huge garden but life is settled, dogs are happy and I have lots of visitors again
OP, if you can move, please do so

TheYearOfSmallThings · 22/01/2024 09:32

Does your landlord have any other properties? If you let them know you would prefer to move back to a more populated area, would they let you know when something comes up, and offer it to you? They would have no trouble finding tenants for your current place.

i couldn't live in a village either.

ProfessorPipsqueak · 22/01/2024 09:34

How long have you been there for? Sometimes it just takes a while to adjust for both you and your pooch. I hated where we live for quite a while after we moved here, 10 years on and I can see the positives. Sometimes though you need a mindshift change. It can be easy to focus on the negatives but you actively have to choose to focus on the positives and try to push back the negative thoughts, I know I did anyway.

shearwater2 · 22/01/2024 10:09

Not all villages are the same, or towns.

OddityOddityOdd · 22/01/2024 10:20

There must be other dog walkers in your village. They are usually a friendly lot. Have you met any and found out where they go ? I'd not, seek them out, there maybe areas you're not aware of.

MillicentTheMagnificent · 22/01/2024 10:24

If you've been there less than a year or two I wouldn't rush to move. It does take time to settle in to a new place, especially when it's a drastic change. I've had to do it a few times in my life and it always takes time to settle in.

Hardlyworking · 22/01/2024 10:29

I also live in a village in Cornwall. I find with village life you get out what you put in. If there's any volunteering groups join them. Most villages have groups that meet for litter picking, weeding, village hall maintenance, etc.

Is there a dog walking group? If not, start one. Maybe join the church if that's your thing? Bite the bullet and start popping into the pub occasionally for a quick drink. Unless you're very unlucky conversations will start, and slowly you'll make connections and feel more settled.

Meadowfinch · 22/01/2024 11:16

OP, in the short term, buy yourself an old fashioned Ordinance Survey map of your surroundings.

It will show up all the footpaths and access to countryside that you may not be able to see because they are overgrown. It might help.

Bramshott · 22/01/2024 11:21

How long have you been in your new location? It takes quite a while to adjust...

beguilingeyes · 22/01/2024 11:36

I have friends who live in a village in Cornwall. All the surrounding land is private farmland, there are no pavements and they have to drive to a field to walk the dog.
Life in the countryside can be very isolating.

BlueGrey1 · 22/01/2024 11:41

I think you need to write a list of positive things about being in that flat and area and keep focusing on those for a while

Save money and if you still don’t like it, pay for a move yourself in 6mths

Original poster

Alijomer · 22/01/2024 15:10

Hi, yes I was an actual sitting tenant - I was there since early 80's. I would like to move but I can't afford it and although I didn't get a payout, I do get subsidised rent here and a promise of contract renewal in writing. Also finding somewhere that would take a dog is proving difficult . I feel so stuck!

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