City to village move, pros and cons

[tortise]

Hi, DH and I are considering making the move from a living on the outskirts of a busy town/small city to a more rural, village way of life.

We'd like to make the move to get a bigger home for our money, for me to be able to work less to be around for the kids more than I am now and to just have more head space from our currently hectic lives. Covid has changed DH's working life so dramatically that daily commuting is now a thing of the past, he sees people face to to e maybe twice a month now, something that will be a permanent change.

I've always lived near to the coast and I'm worried I'll miss this too much. But mostly I'm worried about getting it right, the right village/community, the right new schools for the kids, both still in the middle of primary school at the moment. Their friends and activities are also a worry, Where we are now, there is plenty to do on our doorstep or within an hour on the train at most,

Who's made the move and never looked back, or did it and hated it, looking for all experiences, thank you.

We've moved from the outskirts of a small city to a rural village and adore it (but it was the type of place we both grew up in so it wasn't a huge shock to the system). I'll never go back to more urban living now.

Pros (of our particular village)
You get to know faces quickly, people will be keen to meet "the newcomers" and everyone has been extremely welcoming where we are, we have met the loveliest people.
Good, small schools.
There's much more of a community feel - we've been here just under 2 months but I have already got to know so many people who are only too happy to offer help/advice/local knowledge and want to help us settle in.
There is an abundance of fantastic walking/running routes within a 2 min walk from our doorstep.
Good local pub, shop, Post Office.
Because everyone knows everyone, meaning more accountability, people seem to behave better, especially compared to the faceless, highly populated new build estate we were on before. Crime rates are very low here, much less antisocial behaviour.
Huge amount of pride in the local area, community groups for keeping it nice, and an involved and interested population.
Busy social calendar, provided you like Church events, cricket, and beer and cider festivals.
You'll meet, chat, and make friends with almost every person you meet on a dog walk.

Cons
Can't just pop out for a coffee, cinema trip, meal, or drinks at a bar whenever you fancy (our local is nice enough but more of a "drinkers" pub that you can have a bowl of chips in if you want).
Not much going on aside from Church events, cricket, and beer and cider festivals, so if they're not your bag then you're shit out of luck.
Everyone knows everyone, so if you have a heated exchange of words with your kids/partner/neighbour, you flagrantly disregard recycling rules, are having a torrid affair, or have a severe online shopping habit then everyone will most likely know about it.
You'll be "the new people" for the next 30 years.
Have to drive everywhere - I don't mind this but might change my mind on that when DS is a teen.
Lots of rural areas don't get gas so oil heating, which I don't mind, but is off-putting for some.

We're 5 mins from a moderately sized town so have a bit more in the way of "activities" available to us than if we were totally rural. I love living rurally, but it's nice not having to drive 40 mins to get to the nearest supermarket, and even further for a café - having done that before it was super annoying very quickly and I'd avoid being in that situation again. See also, never being able to get a takeaway delivered.

Thank you, this is really useful.

Neither DH or I are from a city originally so a quieter way of life won't be a huge shock.

I like the idea of the close knit community but my online shopping habits may be an issue 🤣

I would agree with most of toastfiend’s list.

So many people have online deliveries these days that nobody will care. The worst thing you can do in the village I live in is leave your bins out after the bin lorry comes.

Picking a village with a shop will save you loads of petrol and time. My nearest supermarket is twenty five minutes away. A long way to go for a pint of milk.

You will end up driving your teens everywhere.
School, activities, friends. As they spread their wings, these things get further away.

Lovely local village primary school - super.,
There is a bus to high school - super
Does the timetabled bus actually ever run 1- at all; 2- on time?

We moved two years ago from a busy city location to an isolated rural one and we love it.

There are things we lost, such as takeaway delivery, but really we gained so so much and we love it. It was a move of school for the kids too which took some adjustment but has worked out beautifully.

Thanks for these replies, it's such a big leap, am very nervous about getting it right

I would love to do the same,
so watching with interest. I do need decent public transport to a town or city though. Otherwise you need two cars .

I’ve experienced this from a teenage perspective, we moved from London to south west when I was 10. I’m so pleased my parents chose for us to live in a good sized town rather than a village/rural. It meant I had much more independence as a teenager as could walk to school/get the bus/ walk to hobbies and friends. Do consider for when your DCs are teenagers and whether you are willing to drive them a lot if necessary!

Watching this thread with interest, I'm planning a move to a village near Grantham. Great secondary schools and the high speed train link to London for when we need it. Excited but also a bag of nerves about it.

Made the move and LOVE it. One thing I didn’t think ahout enough though was that villages are not all the same 😬

There are villages ruled by sloany types driving Land Rovers with identical blond highlights

There are villages with lots of local folk music bands

There are villages with a thriving amateur dramatics scene

There are villages where everyone is white and from London

There are villages where if you vote Labour you don’t fit in

There are villages where everyone is into ecowarrior atuff and grow their own allotments and wearing synthetic clothes will startle the locals

Basically do yiu researcb and find somewhere that matches you. My village is lovvely but set up for and run by the elderly. Would love to have picked somewhere more arty.