To move somewhere I don't know anyone

[plsbekind]

I've been thinking for a while about moving to Dorset as the house prices are so much cheaper. Im toying with the idea but am I crazy doing it as a single Mum who doesn't know anyone from the area? I work full time from home 90% of the time - the move would mean I can pay my mortgage off quicker, have a higher house for less money, saves me getting an extension done to my current property. Just means I would have zero friends as such but I do enjoy meeting new people etc.
Stay and do the extension and be nearer to London, or move away start a fresh before my child starts school next year and have a better work life balance and more cash in the bank/less of a mortgage?!?

Any advice or opinions welcome

Should say bigger house*

So much depends on whether you like where you currently live, will you miss friends, are family close to where you live now?
Why have you chosen

Sorry posted too soon!
Why Dorset in particular? Could you try renting before committing to such a big lifestyle change?
I did something similar when my kids were little and it worked out fine but there were many times I wondered if I had done the right thing!

Thanks smileohriley I don't have a massive connection of friends here currently, or family either, I think that's what the appeal is moving somewhere with cheaper mortgage payments so I don't have to work 50 hours a week to afford this house/extension plus private school fees eventually. The rural areas seem to have better, smaller schools, larger houses for cheaper so in essence I would be saving the expense & hassle of an extension. Plus cheaper mortgage payments on the long run so a less stressful job!

I did it. As long as you make a conscious effort to then go out and meet people, get to know your neighbours etc, it could be a good move. You'll have the advantage of meeting people through the school.
I chose a small market town so has all the essentials but much friendlier and cleaner than close in to London.

I think it sounds like a good idea. You will make friends easily through your child- at activities/ playgroups /when they start school . If you make a conscious effort with any neighbours/ work contacts etc you will build up a support network - but it will require a conscious effort. I think it's worth the upheaval to have less financial pressure because you CAN make a new life for yourself. I've lived in 6 different cities as an adult- and I've actually found it the easiest to settle, re-root and get to know people when I had young children.

This has honestly made me smile and given me a spring in my step! I can't wait to see what 2023 brings thanks all for such positive words

Are you confident and outgoing, happy to introduce yourself to strangers, make the first move etc - if, then do it. I did it as a single woman (No DC) and moved somewhere very rural and loved it. I've also moved to completely new places with my DH, obviously I am not alone but DH & I have completely separate interests, plus he was working & I wasn't so I just had to get out and get involved. It totally depends on your personality... I still meet people in my 'new' area who seem to know no one ... mainly because they don't do anything to make friends.

I've moved a lot and I have a process for making friends. To start with I don't try to make friends, I try to make as many acquaintances as possible. I turn up for stuff that's happening like village clean up day and join groups/classes to do with my interests. When we moved here the DC were little and I volunteered to help out at school stuff, like cake sales or Christmas fairs. I was just 'there' so people got used to me.

Sometimes I moved to places that had a very mobile population so people were open to making friends relatively quickly. Sometimes I moved to places where people had mostly been there a long time and already had friendship groups and weren't necessarily looking for new friend, in those places I gave it time, had lots of short chats and eventually found my group. I was always slow moving with people who seemed to want to have an instant friendship with the new person, sometimes that was because they were cheeky fuckers who were looking for favours and had already worked their way through the existing population of potential suckers.

One hint that I would give is to take time to find somewhere that suits you, a place that has things going on to get you out and socialising, even something like WI meetings would work well. Also, make sure that the local school isn't too small. I know in Ireland that some rural places struggle to keep the numbers up and they often have to have combined year classes. Plan for when your DC is a little older and wants to be independent, try to live somewhere that has pavements so that she/he can walk to meet friends (I grew up on a country road that was narrow and dangerous to walk along and I resented it when I was a teen).

Given all your circumstances plsbekind I think it sounds a great plan. As others have said, you are at a perfect stage in life to make lots of new friends.
Good luck. I have never regretted moving to a new rural area when my children were little. People were very kind and welcoming and the village schools were just fantastic although they do sometimes combine year groups. Secondary schools varied quite a bit though and some had huge catchment areas. It's worth thinking of the bigger picture for when your DC is older.

I'm in my 4th country and have moved over 30 times. Each time I had to make new friends. It is fine.

If you are working from home anyway for 50+ hrs pw then it makes sense to live in a nicer environment as that;s where the bulk of yoru waking hours are spent. If in addition you can pay off your mortgage sooner, that;s a plus. Just choose carefully. Pick somewhere that will allow your DC to have a life as they get older. Maybe on the outskirts of a market town or on the bus route to somewhere lively within 15 mins, so you aren;t spending your entire life taxiing teens around. And choose somewhere that has a bit of life of its own. When DH and i moved to the country, we looked at the village hall noticeboards and picked the village with the busiest noticeboard.

BlackAmericano you make such a good point, that is my strategy too ..l see so many people moan that they can't make friends but the first thing is to make acquaintances. I also have moved a lot and throw myself into everything, litter picks, quiz nights, jumble sales, WI, PTA, Church etc. That way I meet lots of people ... some may become friends, some remain acquaintances ... but at the very least I am meeting people and getting involved in the local community.

This is just what I needed. I do find it easy to talk to people and have always volunteered or helped neighbours with food shopping runs, cooking meals on wheels and delivering to the elder folk in the neighbourhood. I guess I just needed to hear advice like this to give me the confidence.
Thank you so much to each one of you for sounds advice and taking the time to help me make a life changing decision!

I was interested to read your thread as I am considering a similar move though I am much older than you. Housing is cheaper about 20 miles from where I live now. I can keep the friendships that are important to me going and like you I have the capacity to make new friends, it could be quite an adventure. I am considering viewing a couple of cottages this weekend. I would say go for it. You sound confident in yourself and the school gates is where I met my best friend.
We drove through Dorset a few years ago, it was beautiful. Just remember to check for flooding before purchasing.

We moved to a more rural location from the south east. Didn’t know a soul! I have been here 9 years now and love it. I joined the WI and my DH joined a Male Voice Choir. My Ds was late teens but he went off to college and joined a drama group too. It was the best thing we ever did and I wish I had moved when I was younger. Go for it OP if you can!

Sounds like a no brainier considering you don't have any strong links to where you are anyway. Your DD's age is perfect too both for not being a disruptive move and for helping make friends. It's harder when they are older and doing their own thing.

I moved to Somerset 3 years ago and couldn't be happier. People are so much friendlier and relaxed here. I love it. All my neighbours are great and I just joined everything going.
The south east was just so expensive. I have made more friends here than I had in the south east. I still see my old friends too. They're to visit.
I feel like I've been reborn here.
I was a single mum but my DS is grown up now.

Slightly different circumstances as I'll be moving with my partner, but we're about to move from Surrey to Devon for similar reasons and with the same concerns. I'm hoping I can just throw myself into the community as it will be smaller, try to connect with other school mums.

For what it's worth, I'm from Dorset, and it's a wonderful place. Where are you looking? Places like Poole/Broadstone/Wimborne have a lovely community.