Relocation advice

[Pastafarfalle]

Hello peeps.
I’m about to make the big move from City to a small village - 1 mile to shop and pub and village hall.
I have a DD, Young school age.

Reason for move - separated a year ago and held on in city to minimise strain on DD.
Have always wanted her to go to have cleaner air / more space / school in the country. Schools in this city near us are fine, but very oversubscribed and air is bad.

I’m getting the wobbles and have become afraid of being lonely out there. the house has neighbours but main population of village are retired. I’m 33!!

I want our DD to have fresh air, space, and a close knit school.

But would have to drive her everywhere - even the 3 miles to school and back.

I’m single, so I envisage long evenings alone... altho I do anyway

I made sure the house has parking so friends can visit but I don’t know how often they would...

So far I plan to volunteer locally and maybe start a book club but that’s about it! I do not want to be isolated. I was hoping to be part of an active community but now I don’t know how far I could get with that!!

Main thing is - I can’t tell if this is my gut asking to be heard or just doubt kicking in. I need a rational POV!

Any tips for how to integrate, meet people, avoid loneliness in small villages?? Anyone made the big move from city to country themselves, with small kids? Any advice? Thanks all :)

Xxx

Our village has a coffee morning so perhaps something like that? Honestly though, having a child is the best ice breaker and we've met most of our village when walking about together and happening across them before having a chat. Also, introduce yourself to nearby neighbours with a bunch of flowers or something, take your dd with you when you go.

Is this move set in stone? Can you change your mind?

Firstly, take a look and see if the village has a Facebook group and website and go from there. This should tell you a lot about the village.

Are you a church goer? Does the village have a pub? Maybe book supper there on move in day?

Also, I have brought my two children up in a rural village. You soon get used to the driving everywhere. MN opinion ions are usually opposed to rural living for teenagers. One of the benefits as they grow older is you know where they are as they are reliant on you for taking them there.

I live in a village where we are the youngest family on the street with DD. My neighbours adore her! We go to the lady next door a couple of times a week to see her chickens and in the summer sit out in the garden and chat. Age doesn't feel an issue. Other neighbours give my DD gifts at Xmas etc and they always always wave & stop us in the street because they like seeing her.

My best advice is get to know (and like) your neighbours. Find an excuse to have to pop round to say hi every now and again.

A mile is only a 20 minute walk. I guess ideally it would be slightly closer for when DD gets a bit older, but it's still a good distance for walking. Go to the village shop regularly. When we moved in first lockdown, I was 7m pregnant and wanted to meet people in the village. Obviously couldnt. So I put an add in the local shop and started a Facebook chat group. As we came out of lockdown, we started to meet for walks etc.

As DD gets older, maybe she'll cycle to school? You could cycle with her to avoid having to drive? Others might too.

If in England, the app "Nextdoor" is used a lot in my area and is a local village app. People often post to say they've moved. Or Peanut app for meeting fellow mums.

Always have something planned. Either friends coming to visit or going away for the weekend to visit them. That way you've always got something to look forward to.

I love village life.

Enjoy :)

We moved from a very large town to a semi-rural village about six years ago, with a 1.5 year.

Firstly, you’ll find you make friends through school, albeit it might take a little bit of time. We’ve made some really good friends down here this way. If you have the time maybe volunteer to help out at the school occasionally, so you get to know more people.

Also, we have some really good neighbours whom we see every couple of months and take it in turn to host each other. There’s a group of about 11 of us.

I also joined a gym in a nearby town and found I made a few friends here too. You’ll be fine op, but just remember these things take time. It probably took us 12-18 months to feel settled here. But now we do, we wouldn’t go back to to a city living. You really value the space, clean air and peacefulness that living rural/semi rural brings.

Our village has a lot going on. With v friendly neighbours. People say hello, stop for a chat etc. You just have to decide to fet involved.

@Pastafarfalle hi I’m in the same position and wanted to find out if you moved? How is it going? You did not say in your post if you worked and if it was local?

Having a school age child is good as you can start getting to know other parents at school drop off. Ask them about what groups there are locally. Introduce yourself to your neighbours and ask if there is a village Whatsapp group or a facebook page, these will help you find out what is happening. Even if you are not usually a churchgoer attending a couple of services will help with introductions and you can ask there what social events are happening. Volunteering to help with village events like fetes is another way of getting involved.
The thing with rural life is that you have to be prepared to travel more than you might in the city to find what you want, one mile to a shop, pub and village hall is close in village life, as a lifelong villager myself I consider anywhere in a 10 mile radius to be local so that might be the main area where you need to adjust your way of thinking.

we live in a very similar sounding village, the thing I’d say I feel a minor amount of guilt/sadness over is that when the kids play out front it’s just them. There’s no gang of kids in the village, there’s no hoards going from house to house. This may be a good thing in some peoples eyes!! And I know I can drop him off at school friends houses, but the exact street of full of retiree or working couples.

Hi. My hubby and I are seeking to move from a busy Hertfordshire town to a coastal area but want to ensure the education is upto standard for our 6 year old and that there is some diversity.
Please give me your experiences and opinions of coastal areas in the east and south east of England. Thank you.