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Rural living

Looking to relocate to the countryside? Find advice in our Rural Living forum.

Second thoughts about leaving london/village life

14 replies

ParsonsGreen99 · 15/11/2020 22:26

Not really sure what I’m looking for by posting this but interested to hear other experiences I guess.

We’ve had an offer accepted on a house in a south Oxfordshire village, solicitors instructed, searches done, survey booked and working towards completion in December. We’ve been looking for a house for around 9 months and thought we were set on moving out of london after years paying extortionate rent for grotty houses (currently £3.5k a month and we have a damp bathroom and a frequent mouse visitor!). We also have a one year old and the lack of outdoor space over another hot summer and lockdown was the final push to move.

We’ve always struggled with location because we don’t know the surrounding areas of london well, we were drawn to Oxfordshire because I have family there.

Initially we were excited to have found somewhere, but mostly relieved we could stop the rightmove searches. But now we’re a few weeks in, we’re wondering if this is the right house for us.

The housing market seems almost certainly to be inflated right now and heading for a crash within the next 6 months, we’re spending our life savings and that is frankly terrifying!

All of our friends are in London and apart from my family (who I mostly find slightly suffocating) we won’t know anyone. I’m not sure village life is for us, we’re so used to everyone being our age with kids and the local Facebook group I’ve joined doesn’t seem to have many families. The local primary school is tiny (6 pupils per class - undecided on whether thats a good or bad thing), gets good but not excellent results. The house is a semi detached house and the garden isn’t huge. There’s an electricity pole in a field behind that is very unsightly (we think the reason why two neighbouring properties on the development haven’t sold). The commute for my husband will be around an hour and a half. We’re hoping to have another baby next year and I’m worried I’ll feel very isolated in such a rural location with no friends.

Basically we are making more compromises than we thought we’d have to and spending everything we’ve ever saved, taking us back to zero. We’re also doing all of this in the middle of a pandemic and I think our anxiety levels are elevated.

The major issue if we don’t move to this house is we have to continue renting, eroding our deposit further and are no closer to moving forward. The limbo we’re in right now is driving us crazy!

Are these normal first time buyer nerves or more than that? Did anyone else feel this nervous and have regrets/no regrets after moving? Heeelllllpppp!!!

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 15/11/2020 22:41

Goodness where are you renting? I just did a quick check and there are some nice terraced houses with (small) gardens in Fulham (for example) for less than £3000/month.
You seem to have a lot of doubts. I wouldn't make the move, but I love the city and am trying to move back in. I think you should rent for a while before committing yourself to such a major move.

Whatthebloodyell · 15/11/2020 22:45

I wouldn’t move to a village from London, without being very sure that was the kind of life that I wanted. I moved to a small but lively city, and I still found it a bit of a difficult adjustment for at least 3 years!

stanski · 15/11/2020 22:45

Judging from your username all it takes it to cross the bridge into neighbouring Putney, Wandsworth, Battersea and your rent should go down. Even in Fulham you can find cheaper.
Don't move if you are not sure about it

kurtainwoz · 15/11/2020 22:47

You don't sound certain so maybe best to pause however why are you spending so much on rent?

Embracelife · 15/11/2020 22:52

You could rent a two bed flat with garden in sw london for a lot cheaper

Seems a bit of a leap to go from london to tiny village. Try a town?

user1843685313563 · 15/11/2020 22:53

Why did you choose this house in this location originally?

Some of your points sound like anxious nitpicking to me. The electricity pole?! Complaining you're going from zero garden to a "not huge" garden?!

Embracelife · 15/11/2020 23:04

Your child will have five or six school mates. Whether you end up friends with their parents you dont know.
You will havd to travel to nearby town?

Sitdowncupoftea · 16/11/2020 23:32

There are lots of different types of villages. What some regard as I village i would regard as town. You already sound as though you don't want to live there.

BiscuitsUnited · 16/11/2020 23:36

I wouldn't buy a house somewhere SO different to where I am living now without renting there first, just to make sure that sort of life is really what you want.

You don't have to go so totally rural, you might be happier in a small town?

Chickenitalia · 16/11/2020 23:41

Op, I live in South Oxfordshire and moved here from Fulham. If you want to pm me with more info maybe I can help. The village I live in is bigger than the one you are describing and I wonder if it is a step too far for you. 6 kids per year is tiny and risks closure. A village near to us has had that happen this year, with a lot of disruption for the children and a number of years of problems before that. The village I live in has 30 kids per year, very sought after school and housing goes quickly. About 1500 homes. So there’s a world of difference. We are also very close to Didcot for a main line train if needed, there are many villages like mine here. So if you aren’t sold on the house, don’t do it.

I would also suggest not living in such close proximity to family you find suffocating, in such a rural location. Go 10 miles further, at least. Still nearby, but not easy to pop in.

Rural life can be amazing and I love the community here, especially with the children. I think you maybe just have the wrong place.

Saz12 · 17/11/2020 18:18

6 kids per year group means 30 or so children in the school. Is it a tiny village, or mostly older people?

The new baby will likely mean you meet more people though. Ploughing all your savings into the house is scary, but I don’t think property will become worthless in 6 months, it’ll bounce back, and low interest rates coupled with future quantative easing will erode the value of your savings anyway. A ££ concern would be if school is at risk of closure and yours is a family-type home.

But... You sound ambivalent about the house, your partner is going to be commuting for 3 hours a day, you’re not sure about being so close to family... It doesn’t sound like the right move for you.

Cavagirl · 17/11/2020 18:26

If it's such a big move and you're not sure why don't you try renting in the area your considering to move to first?
FWIW you don't sound convinced.
This would be a big concern for me All of our friends are in London and apart from my family (who I mostly find slightly suffocating) we won’t know anyone
You'll be coming back to London all the time to see your friends and possibly end up feeling sad you left.
As PP's suggest there's less drastic ways to get more space and stay in London, if that's the driver.

Cavagirl · 17/11/2020 18:26

*you're

ParsonsGreen99 · 18/11/2020 09:05

Thanks so much everyone. We’ve decided to pull out. It’s not the right move for us, too many compromises! We’re going to focus on renting somewhere we may want to buy and hopefully then we’ll feel more confident about our decision, and maybe the market will be slightly less uncertain by then!
Really appreciate all of your replies it really helped clarify my thinking xx

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