Someone help!! Norfolk?

[CharCharxxx]

Argh I'm literally at the end of my tether with this location thing my brain feels like it's going to explode.
We are in South London where we were born and bred. Used to be a fab place as everything so accessible and opportunities etc. Now..those things haven't changed but I'm desperate to get away. The crime, gangs , violence, robbery and all the rest have filtered through to where we are and I can honestly say I feel so unsafe here now, there's no way I'll be happy letting my kids out once secondary school age comes.
So we are packing up and selling up this summer. Now here's my dilemma.. where the bloody hell to?! We have been all over Sussex and Hampshire and even the Cotswolds. But then we saw some amazingly beautiful country houses in Norfolk for so much less than our house is worth! I do understand that this will be partly to do with not as much employment etc therefore this reflects in the house prices. I then kept reading that secondary schools are under achieving so I basically would just like to find out the truth from people who know the area's? We think a village on the outskirts of Norwich would suit us so the kids aren't bored when teens. Any recommendations for nice villages with decent schools?
Sorry for the long post I only plan on doing this once so I need to get it right! X

Suffolk is ruddy gorgeous and if you choose catchment carefully there are some amazing schools. Farlingaye, Thomas Mills and Debenham were on our hit list. There are also lots of less desirable schools so catchment is key. Beaches, sailing, forests and heaths for fabulous hacking, culture at Snape, Ipswich for big shops, theatre etc, and much less far to London if you need a hit of cosmopolitan life.

Ooh, plus loads of families have moved from London so you'd not feel too much of an outsider.

We moved from South London to South Norfolk 13 years ago and love it. Absolutely love it. No regrets whatsoever. But - we are introverts. We don’t want to be out socialising and doing things all the time. We like muddy country walks, watching Netflix in the evenings and visiting garden centres and doing country type stuff (we are now mid 30s). When we moved here our youngest child was 3 so she’s now 16 and been through all the local schools primary to sixth form. They’ve been great, no regrets there and our youngest child is now 7 and it’s a lovely place to bring up young children. Open spaces, polite people, low crime rates (compared to south London especially)!

But .... Most salaries are low - my dh is a senior administrator for a specialist company and he earns £18k. He does walk to work though and we were lucky to be able to downsize when we moved from London with no mortgage (due to my job at the time etc) so we have a good standard of living. Long term though I know dd will struggle salary wise if she stays in our area. We will see.

Teenagers tend to hang out at each other’s houses or the local Costa. Maybe we’ve just been lucky but there isn’t really a teen drinking culture as they can’t get anywhere without taxi of mum and dad...! And local pubs all know who they are It’s boring for them but oh well...keeps them safe!

There is so much that seems to be going on where we are even though our borough was always considered a nice one not too long ago. There is a rediculous amount of gang crime and violence here. Boys as young as 12/13 carrying knives makes me sick to my stomach. I mean it's not like the Bronx (probably wrong spelling!) but it's really bad still. The house burglaries during the night when people are in have increased so much especially within our group of roads. There's just too much going on it's more for my kids I fear rather than me personally. Obviously I feel very vulnerable where DH works away I'm by myself, so not nice knowing there are so many break ins. Lots of knife related stuff with the teenagers all within one mile radius. Just not where i want to be anymore. Obviously I'm not under any illusion that I'll move and illiminate this completely, I know bad stuff happens everywhere. But this is a joke

Suffolk is ruddy gorgeous is it...all of it?!

Move to Lowestoft then

well.....i moved from Norfolk to Staffordshire last oct.

the house is on the market! we are going home ....to norfolk!! or Naaarfolk as we`d say lol!! norfolk is lovely, its our proper home.

I'm from Ipswich. I have to say there is more to do in Norwich (the castle, a cathedral etc) but you are closer to London in Ipswich and there are good links to Cambridge and the Midlands (the A14)

OP have you looked at the crime statistics and unemployment per capita? Try office of national statistics (ONS). Also earnings and homelessness.
My two nephews did do well at footie. They're parents now and still play.
@31RuffleCrow I think you're views are very realistic.
OP have you considered London suburbs? Hayes in Kent and Langley park have great schools. Then the benefits of London living is at your fingertips as is the countryside.

Monty27 I'm actually in a suburb that comes under Kent but we are still a London Borough. We basically don't want to be within the m25 and do want a very rural life instead of suburban town. So hard to know what's best. I suppose there is no perfect solution is there every decision will have its pros and cons I guess x

Speminalium.. thanks for that info I will look into those places you've mentioned x

I’d personally go for Suffolk. More movement of people, prettier countryside, better road connections and much better schools.

My family have lived in a small village 20 mins outside of Norwich for 15 years. They’re desperate to leave but ‘stuck’ because of jobs and property. Any school trips seem to be to Norwich Castle. Schools (particularly secondary) have been a nightmare and the isolation of the county does seem to mean they can get away with substandard education. Making friendships is hard work and people say their family live ‘quite far away’ if they’re in the next village along. The county has lots to offer with beautiful coastline and a historical city centre, but I’d save it for holidays rather than living there. I lived there for a few years and found the atmosphere and people quite strange.

You do have to be prepared to drive a lot. All the time. My sons best friend lives 35 miles away from us (they both go to specialist school, they have autism). My son travels 25 miles to school with an escort in a taxi. If someone told me that before we moved up I would have thought that was horrendous but actually it’s normal for children with special needs to travel long distances in Norfolk as most of the complex needs schools are in Norwich so all the pupils travel in from all over...! Ds doesn’t mind, it’s all he’s ever known and chats to his escort and has his iPad to play on.

Days out are driving. 25 miles to Norwich from where we are. So a day out there is 50 miles there and back. We tend to visit local towns a lot. There are train services for dd but they’re unreliable.

I quite like driving so it doesn’t bother me at all but when we first moved up it seemed like everything was MILES away. Now it just seems like a hop down the road!

I had been used to leaving my house in South London and waiting at a bus stop outside my house for 2 mins and a red double decker would turn up...!

Something else I couldn’t get used to for ages is that everyone and everything seems to happen at the crack of dawn here. Our local Tesco sells out of fresh bread and fresh stuff by about 11am. In London people wouldn’t even be up and about then! I kept wondering why the shelves in our local town were half empty and turns out I just needed to get up and about earlier. I think a lot of this is linked to driving again - no one wants to drive on rural roads in the dark or bad weather; so everyone gets up and out early

There is a real community spirit though. During the beast of the east a few years back (terrible snow for weeks) we had a great Facebook page going where if people got stuck driving in the snow they could post and a tractor driver or a 4 by 4 owner would go and rescue them! Amazing.

And please don’t think crime rates are anything compared to South London...! I got mugged in London on my way home from work along a busy main road at 6pm. I have never, ever heard of that happening here or anywhere near here in the 13 years I’ve lived in Norfolk. Main crime seems to be theft relating to tools from vans or attempts to scam people out of money - which is awful but not the same levels of violence as London at all.

mmm... we don't drive every day. Even though all of us commute 6+ miles each way. Public transport actually does exist, even here.

I did get jumped on The Avenues in Norwich, actually, about 25 years ago, sadly! I pushed the creep off & chased him down the road. Pillock. That said, out in the sticks, the main crimes are fly-tipping and nicking heating oil. And I agree about the Good Samaritan roamers in Land Rovers who really do go out in the snow to find anyone who needs rescuing.

Places to look at in Suffolk for good schools:

Woodbridge
Rendlesham (my choice if moving with kids)
Framlingham

Thi

Bother, just typed a long reply. The gist being:
I think Norwich is great. As it’s quite isolated, there are lots of facilities in the city. Shopping is better than Cambridge!
Our 3 children have all grown up here and like it. They’ve all been/are at university. In fact youngest is in her 1st year at Oxford and state educated all the way.
My DH and I earn over £100,000 between us and are both in professional jobs. DH walks to work!!
There is crime and even gangs. Utopia it’s not.

We basically don't want to be within the m25 and do want a very rural life instead of suburban town

We are within the M25 and consider ourselves rural
We are a tiny “hamlet” of about 25 houses surrounded by fields.

You are more likely to see horses and oxen going past the house than cars.

Just because you are within the M25 doesn’t mean it is not rural

Just outside the M25 there are loads of really nice rural areas that have good transport links.

My dc have friends from all over the country They are really thankful that we live where we do.

I used to have to drive them to a tube station (10 mins drive in different directions to 2 different tube stations and 2 rail stations) but once on the tube/rail network they could get themselves anywhere.
As opposed to their friends having to be dropped off and picked up and having to beg for lifts to the local town 30 minutes away which would mean 1 parent having to do 2 hours driving

Getting places to some extent under their own steam is worth its weight in gold.

We have the best of both worlds

You don’t have to go miles outside the M25 to get rural idylls and the schools round here are excellent

I have family who live there and have visited many times to comfort them
.

Thank you once again for taking the time to reply, I have read every single comment and am taking everything you have all said into consideration. Me and DH have been reading over and over this thread this evening and researching some of the places suggested.
We are definitely going to have a proper look next month when visiting the in-laws. I really love the sound of it as a county, and like I previously said I'm happy to embrace full country life! Mud, noisy nocturnal farm machinery etc...

However what I keep coming back to.. is my concerned for the DCs futures. If they don't go down the route of higher education then I want them still to be able to get a decently paid job to support themselves and move out when they want to. So thinking maybe Norfolk/Suffolk may not be the best fit for us right now. Which is devastating to me because other than schools/employment it ticks all my boxes! Why is life so unfair sometimes
We aren't ruling it out completely we still want to go and maybe speak to some more locals too.
Again I really do appreciate all these answers thank you x

Oliversmumsarmy - it sounds just lovely where you live! Are you in Kent?

No London Herts borders

To be honest, the decently paid jobs in London will all require higher education, so that could be the case wherever you are. I do worry about my children being out of the ultra competitive London school system and then trying to compete with people who had been tutored from year 3 but when we left it didnt suit my older DS anyway. He was finding the pressure too much and is doing much better in a smaller more nurturing atmosphere. Ironically, my ds2 who was only 4 when we left would probably have thrived in that atmosphere but hes not broken by being here whereas my ds1 was just getting more and more withdrawn. He had panic attacks for about a year after we left when we'd go back to visit friends in London.
I will encourage them to leave when they are adults just to experience life outside. But in my experience London life for people without graduate qualifications and high paying jobs is just hard. Much harder than it would be anywhere with a more reasonable cost of living.

Hi Noodlenose, thanks for your reply. I know what you mean about the pressure of the schools in London. There are alot of kids in my Dcs school who have tutors from year 4. I wish there wasn't so much pressure on them
With regard to jobs I never went to uni i didn't make it passed first year of 6th form as i messed about so much then had a couple of jobs doing retail etc as i had no idea what to do with my life. However I got offered a job as a PA with starting salary of £32k at the age of 19 (which wasnt a bad salary for being so young!) and after a few years that went up and I then got close to a promotion but went on maternity leave for my DD and never went back. I guess my point is that you don't always have to have qualification to get a half decent job. Sorry for the life story there I was just trying to say that if my kids didn't get a degree or anything then they'd at least have the chance to get something like that they can work their way up in... It's really difficult as I know the country life would suit us very well in every other aspect. I have alot to think about! X

To be honest, the decently paid jobs in London will all require higher education

Both dc have very little qualifications. Certainly no higher education and are earning a healthy living in London doing things that you can only really do in London

They are just establishing themselves. Dd has already saved enough to buy a flat to do up. (Very tiny very grotty auction property up north) and Ds is saving hard. He earned an average of £140 per day this week. (Only worked 3 days but is hopeful he can gradually up his work days and payment rate)

If you haven’t the qualifications then thinking outside the box of “normal” jobs and London is where you can earn the money.

Dd has been offered office manager positions and a f/t position in one of her jobs both on £40k per year.
She has turned them both down as she knows she wouldn’t enjoy having to do the same things day in and day out. She enjoys the variety. Also her business where her heart lies will eventually pay a lot more than the £40k jobs.

Neither I knew were going to set the world alight with their academic abilities so they did a lot of ECAs and it is from there that they have made their way into the world of work.

I'm not really sure about your schooling worries. I feel it may be a London thing. Obviously, we all want a great school for our kids. What do you think will happen to your children if they are educated here. All the people I was friends with at school now have professional positions, own properties, have moved around the country or abroad for work. We were all educated in Norfolk. Obviously some people haven't done that, and some are now very high earners- my friends brother is a high powered banker in New York. More importantly, in my opinion we were happy and have formed life long friendships. 2 of my friends visited me on a different continent multiple times.

Are you basing your assessment of a 'good school' purely on the ofsted report? If so, this is not a good idea. A school can be outstanding one year, special measures the next. There is 12 years until your kids go to high school! Are you basing your location on schools current ofsted reports. This isnt just for Norfolk, in general? How are you deciding on the schools wherever the location?